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Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by shilpaaug, Apr 24, 2015.

  1. sumathysuguna

    sumathysuguna Silver IL'ite

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    Hi shilpa, it will be hard to go through. I can understand. Time only can heal all these. So for now, do some exercise daily without fail. It will release the necessary hormones we need to make up our mind and fitness makes u feel good. Keep ur mind busy always. Do some work which gives u relaxation on and off.
    U said u r emotional and softhearted. So I don't think there is a possibility of another marriage. Bcoz its been 10 yrs. These yrs r registered in ur mind. If u ask me, never believe or go behind a man to lead a life. So much is there other than that. Be with good and positive people. That's the utmost thing to lead a healthy, satisfied and successful life. Be financially independent and adopt a child. It will be a good life in both way ( for a child and for an adult who is adopting). Its all in our mind shilpa.
    I make sure that u r going to be very strong and prosperous life awaiting to
    U.
     
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  2. ssdonkar

    ssdonkar Silver IL'ite

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    Shilpa Hi,

    After a very long time i login today and saw your post,Its very sad that you lost your child as a mother can understand/feel your grief.

    Believe in almighty he will turn everything right for you.Coming to your divorce as i am experienced person myself I can understand your vulnerability towards relationship.decisions making can become difficult.Time is best remedy I had gone through this phase I was 31 when i got divorce and had a baby of 3 yrs old with me absolutely alone with no help whatsoever.I took decision of remarrying had my ups and downs in my 2nd marriage too but then this is called life.Everybody has to have its share never the less now everything is fine after a period of 9 years.

    Real life is very different then what we perceive :)


    Will suggest you to go with the flow. Enjoy your current job make new friends.You never know you can get a partner in your friend circle.

    Lots of Hugs

    Dont hesitate to ping me or write to me for any help required.

    Aaditi S
     
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  3. butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    So sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to understand your grief. To add to your misery, your hsuband doesnt seem to be very helpful. Please seek a counsellor and pour out your feelings. Take time to come to terms with your grief and heal.

    At any cost, please do not give out contact information - phone numbers or email addresses to all and sundry especially on an online forum , who you do not know.
     
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  4. candidheart

    candidheart IL Hall of Fame

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    I am so sorry for your loss! May god give you the strength to come out of this phase sooner. Please do not share your insecurities to people around you, whom you don't really know/trust well, and there are so many like the above male posters waiting to take advantage of the situation. Please take @butterflyice and do not share any details with such people... stay away. stalking written all over their post
     
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  5. CoolPie

    CoolPie Silver IL'ite

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    Dear,
    Sorry for the great loss. Hugs to you dear. Time ll heal everything. Its just a phase. It ll pass soon. Beleive me. Even the greatest and the deepest of the wounds have been healed by time.

    God bless you to feel peaceful and move ahead in life. You ll find a good partner soon.
     
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  6. sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    Shilpa- Hugs to you. I pray that God gives you strength to bear this tremendous loss. You will never forget your son. His memory will always give you strenth and hope to carry on. In that miserable life with that cruel man, your child was your only joy so why should you not cherish you son's memory? You will have to believe that he is with you and always looking out for you and for him just as much as for youself you owe it to live you life well.

    You are very young (many very accomplished girls are choosing to marry at your curent age) so give your self a chance to find happiness in life again.

    In meantime, try to give yourself time to heal before you decide on remarrying. You have gone through too much in life to rush into anything too soon. I hope and pray that you find the happiness you deserve.


     
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  7. ashaalt

    ashaalt Senior IL'ite

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    Dear @shilpaaug very sorry to know what you have been through, I dont think there is anything more painful than losing a child. Hugs to you.

    Your husband clearly was not interested in you, domestic abuse and extra marital affair should never be excused. I am glad you left him! There was no point living in a loveless marriage. If anything, you should feel free today.

    Your real sadness must be about losing your son, not the husband. There is no consolation for that dear. Your son will live in your memories forever, but you can shower that love on many other kids who have never experienced a mother's love. Glad to know you are working, you can adopt a child if you desire, if not do find a nice man with a kid who is need of a mother, volunteer in orphanages, teach part time in schools to feel better.

    Marriage is not required unless you feel the need for a man, if you do, do not hesitate, there are many good men out there...but be mindful and do not let anyone misuse your situation.

    Take care dear, your little angel is looking over you everyday and surely will not like that you are suffering. Cheer up and move on.
     
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  8. Preet82

    Preet82 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Shilpa,
    Very sorry for your loss. God be with you.
     
  9. athma

    athma Senior IL'ite

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    Get time to heal urself dear. Get a job in Kindergarten in ur surrounding. Be with ur parents and siblings. Never lose good friends. Have ur time. Most men in India shows emotional unavailability. We women need to have some diversions when we lose something big. These are all the problems of naive women who are prey for sociopaths.
    Life Lessons :
    1. 90% of people are selfish and cunning manipulative. They look for innocent and emotionally weak.
    2. Should choose the relationships wisely including friednship.
    3. Dont be vulnerable.
    4. Think good and act good (EVen if they want something from you, do it by knowing that they are using you. No need for revenge).

    Be strong mentally as well as physically. Time heals everything.
     
  10. sunkesula

    sunkesula New IL'ite

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    dont think like that not all pople behave like that only , find some true pople to u r life ,the person should tell all thinks to u share every thing to u and be true to u
     

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