Regarding my Stuff - Need your Suggestions Please

OP,
I say let it go not because it's tough for her. It's tough for you in particular. The moment you decided you want her v out of life have minimum interactions even through lawyer. Every interaction will bring you back some unnecessary memory which you should forget. Let go off these things. Even if you get it back you are never going to use them. Most likely you will donate to charity why struggle ? Part with dignity.

 

You are not even divorced and thinking about the matrimonial market?

 

Unless you have bought land/ property/ shares etc in her name, I would suggest let go of items below 50k!!
Those items won't hold any good memories for you. Listen to your mom!

 

Let go. Buy peace with them. Take it as you donated them away.

 

@Rihana

The divorce is not final. This immediate response of the "matrimonial market" seems a bit strange to me. His response may be fair but in my opinion it is in bad taste. There are many ways to handle the question. I find his responses a bit petty, but then maybe I am biased.

 

I think you want all those that you gave her, not because of it's value for money but because you are angry on her and want to show it this way. Hmmm..

It is better to let it go. Whatever peace of mind you lost is lost. You are not going to get it back by claiming all those that you gave her. Your anger is not going to subside either.

Probably you can claim the Gold and Silver stuff that you gave her, if she claims the Gold that she may have spent on you for wedding..like gold chain, ring etc.

Otherwise..Let it go..In life, 'material' things should be considered 'immaterial' in exchange of peace of mind and happiness.

 

Guys, lets not to be biased about his gender.

He is getting a divorce. It is equally harder for men too. He is emotionally and to some extend physically is vulnerable due to this marriage. He further claims, he went on to purchase certain "stuff" to his wife despite of having financial struggles. He seems to have done some odd jobs to meet these "needs"; thus his expectation at this present state of mind is "just normal".

What would be your response if this thread is started by a woman. I did some odd jobs in the US to buy something expensive for my H- with whom I was married for a short time. Due to physical and emotional abuse, I am divorcing him. Now that, I want the "stuffs" or equivalent money spent on them back. I lost my virginity and I will be considered second hand in the marital market.

Now that, we all will pour out sympathy, and ask the poor woman to stay strong. I am sure, many would at least justify her intention to get the "stuff" back, no matter what she received from her soon-to-be ex husband.


Come on guys... In every marriage there will be so many gives and takes by both partners. If the gives and takes are reasonable, there won't be any questions about separation.
If the marriage is at the verge of separation, it only means there is nothing pleasant to keep it going. Then what is the point of thinking on that lines.

OP wants his hard earned money back. He believes all the expensive gifts (what is expensive for him may seem petty for some of us) to be returned because he invested all of them to build a good foundation for their marriage life. When there is no marriage, I mean no building... What is the point of keeping this foundation?

So, in my POV... OP is right. But it is not easy and it will cause a lot of negativity in the process.

Dear OP,
If I were you, I would leave everything up to God.. You have wasted your precious life with this woman. What more precious these "items" could bring to your life. Let's leave all together, and start afresh life after divorce. Good luck