Divorce Impact on child

What is the age of the child in question?

 

Hi Priyanka,

First of all you very well explained the circumstances and mentioned reason for separation.

When parents go for divorce it will definitely impact child but there are several factors need to be considered here to see how much it impacts the child.

Depends on age, how much attached to other person, how active is kid (if really intelligent kid) , after divorce child is going to see other person or not, where the child going to live after divorce i.e same environment or away from all or within close relatives like grandparents who can very well take care of them, is the other person is going to keep child busy to avoid thinking about missing person…etc.

I am mentioned these with my experience.
“should victim think that child needs both parents”
Even though if victim think about this but this will not long last. After sometime with above circumstances , victim thinks that it would be better to keep child in stable environment. Because above environment will also impact the child.

But after divorce , a huge amount of dedication towards kid is required to reduce the impact on the child. Huge effort which also requires lot of support from nears and dears. Once you go for divorce then you need to deal with 2 situtaions.
One – dealing yourself, mental trauma (depression, loss of interest in life….blah blah…..) and second one- taking care of kid. All needs hell lot of patience.

When kid is involved better put all efforts to stay together. No Rushing , no egos, no quick decisions and no frustrations. If failed then no option but make sure victim and child can survive after divorce. Take a long view.
Because it’s all parents mistake going for divorce (reason could be anything) not the child. Divorcee should be able to give good, great life to the child. “Child should not become victim of divorce”.

I hope I am not scaring with my views. But my intention is think about child future before going for divorce. Have a broad view. If it is unavoidable then go for it ( No need to suffer under a stupid psycho life long and we are not born for it) but during divorce also take appropriate steps like visiting permissions and alimony ….etc. “Think twice because child is involved”.

 

When a child is involved (even otherwise but especially when a child is involved), divorce should only be considered after every possible effort has been made to save the marriage. But if despite 200% effort nothing would work, then better to separate and have arrangement for visiting rights for the dad.

 

Very much depend on how you implement the divorce. If the divorce is very full of conflicts, the child loose the other parent, the fighting will continue after the divorce then the negative impact is very big. If the parents are able to put the child in focus, make good arrangements regarding custody and visitation, do not bad-mouth the other parent to the child, make fair financial arrangements for the child then the divorce will not have negative impacts.

 

It is extremely difficult but for the sake of the child you have to try. Get help from support groups, professional counselors, friends and family. Your child has the right to love his/her parents and it is very harmful for the child to have to take sides.

 

I grew up in a family where my parents were separated. My father was extremely abusive, not just towards my mom but also towards me and my brother. My mom tried adjusting a lot but when I was around 13 yrs old and my brother was 7, she walked out. It was a big relief for me!!! I felt as if I was out of hell. Those early 13 years of my life have left very deep scars in my heart. I don't think they will ever heal. I haven't met my father after that but I think I have spoken to him 5-6 times in last 24 years ( I am 37 now). If the father is nice to the child, then I think they should meet and spend time togeher every week. The child needs both parents. Period!

If the child sees both parents fighting all the time, what's the point? It is better to separate and let the child spend time with each parent.

Seeing the parents fight every day can mess up a child's life big time.

--Bubai

 

I think a woman should also consider how good a dad he is while considering a divorce. I am not thinking about the hubby but the kid. Distancing a loving dad from a kid should not be done easily.

I am very critical of the divorce process that does not see the kids as stake holders in a couple's marriage. They are and they lose big in such a case. That's the sad truth. That being said, I can not think of a better solution than divorce in many cases of unworkable differences.