how do you guys over come the anger,rage,depression

Hate and anger are normal (and even healthy) feelings after a divorce. Have you checked if there are any divorce support groups in your area (or checking out online forums)? It helps a lot to talk with other in similar situation. There are also good books about how to overcome a divorce.

 

Hi,

Please calm down. Be happy that your sad days are over.
Try to keep you busy:

1. Try to make some new freind
2. If that is not possible, try going for some volunteering activities. that way you get to know lot of people, find activties to spend your time and at the end of day be happy you did something useful for someone. The country I live (not US) provides many such volunteering options through organisations like red cross etc... it could be anything from helping people in need, giving free tuition lessons to kids, working at charity shops, library etc. Choose the acivity of your interest.
3.Try to visit some relatives/friends who won't judge you
4. Get into a normal schedule - Sleep and wake up on time - Beleive me it helps a lot to be active when the sun is there. Better to sleep when it is dark outside. It plays a big role in keeping our mood high.

The way you have to take revenge on your ex is by living happily - not by spoiling yourself!!

 

I will second HopefulNisha's recommendation of maintaining normal sleep cycle. This is very important. Also make sure that you do not oversleep. Excess sleep also leads to more depression.

Another thing you can do is to prepare a jam-packed schedule. Make your schedule in such a way that you do not have to think about things to do and you automatically go from one task to another. Idleness will make you feel even more blue.

 

Hello Flyingsparks,
How to overcome anger, rage, fear, hurt ? it is simple, give in to those feeling.
If u want b angry, do it hit out at the bed, the pillow, shout at the top of ur voice
Since nobody is there at home, u won't have anybody judging u or talking back at u.
If want to have odd hours of sleeping, do it.
Why I am saying this is, all these feelings are temporary. Becoz when happiness can be temporary so can these feelings. The same goes for sad phases in our lives.
The idea is to stick it out during those days. Sunshine will be just around the corner, u only have to wait for the darkness to end.
All ur ill-feelings will last for a mximum of two to three weeks, then u will get bored of them.

 

Dear..

It's very unfortunate situation..

But on the other hand, it is better than living in a cage with such an incompatible partner..You are young and you have a bright future..Why to spoil it?

Please go through the below site...There are hundreds of people going through the similar situation..You are not alone..

How Can I Handle My Anger After Divorce

Take a break from the thoughts about your married life...it is past..let your mind calm down..think about future only..Do you have a job? ..Are you independent?..Or do you have to build everything from scratch?..

Is it possible to go for Part time jobs?..Even McDonalds/ petrol pump jobs would help you to meet the personal expenses..If you are lucky, you may get a proper job as per your qualifications immediately..

Do not think about your materials and money now..They cannot keep it in his custody forever.. it may take some time to get everything settled..But don't get distracted by such things..

Take your own time to regain your health and mind..Do not enter into another relationship until you are are Back to Normal. Repair the damage first. There may be many people approaching you with help and sympathy. Do not trust strangers.
Always remember, Marriage failed not because of your fault...

All the best.

 

Flyingsparks,
It is normal to feel a range of emotions.
It may be helpful to talk to a psychologist to sort through your feelings.Is there a local women's support group? They may be able to refer you to someone who does pro bono work, or to some group sessions.
They may also be able to help you send a certified legal letter to your ex asking for the return of your belongings.
In the meantime, difficult as it may seem right now:
1) Set a routine. Wake up, shower, dress and put on some lipstick, like you are going out.
2) Make a plan for your studies. Your education is going to get you ahead, so this should be your top priority.
3) Try to get some regular exercise, even just taking a walk can help.
4) Do you have family support? Can someone come stay with you, of course if you feel up to it.
Difficult as it seems now, baby steps will keep you moving forward.

 

Hi FLying sparks. Along with the wonderful advise your are given, try to take a mild anti depressant, homeopathy or any other mild anti depressant. It will really help you get positive. Feel thankful that you are out of the world which was not meant for you. Try to do yoga and meditation. I know it's hard, but you are already done with the hard part which is to take the decision to separate. Remember this too shall pass. But please try to visit a doctor and take a mild antidepressant for short time. Telling from personal expereince it really helps.

 

very good advice here. one more thing cry all you want and after you can cry no more pick yourself up and do what you want. I think activity will help you here. try and keep yourself busy. go for a walk, library whatever you feel like. Keep a note in bold letters in front of you at all time 'Be Positive' all the best with your life.

 

Hi Flyingsparks,
All the feelings you expressed here are quite natural and we women being sensitive are more prone to lot of emotions.
I am against posters asking you to take medications like anti depressants. They can get you addictive. Sleep is most effected. It was the case with me as well. I have never had normal sleep for long time. After divorce we get in to analysis mode that we should have done things differently, behave differently or he should have been better. This makes us feel bad that we too have done some mistakes but the fact is there are many partners in this world who are acceptable to behavior of partner and they adjust with each other as family in spite of fights/mistakes.
To get though these issues I have been to therapy sessions . It really helped me a lot. My dad was the one who insisted me to take up these sessions seeing my condition. Therapist actually asked me to do things - Forgive self as well as forgive ex. If we do not forgive all this anger towards self/him will carry forward towards life as well as next life. We have already dealt with an idiot and we do not want to stuck up there. So it is always better to move on.
Online forums are the best place to vent out instead of depending on people. I would also suggest you to spend time going to near by parks or temples. This gives lot of peace. All the best. At last time is a great healer.