Finally Its Over

kanthtx · Nov 12, 2014

be strong and move on...

remember ur whole life should NOT be defined by one divorce.. ur life at the end, when u look back should be defined by happiness, love, kids and career success..

so wat ever is the past try to forget as soon as u can.. and move on.. go on a date, travel, learn new things, and enjoy urself.. try to have the confidence in urself...

Akanksha1982 · Nov 12, 2014

Hugs to you dear, you are strong. Able to maintain a healthy career ad mist all these traumas is no easy task.

I think you should take a break and travel. Maybe visit friends/family in other countries. That will help you to calm down and appreciate the wonderful world and it's creator and also you will be able to appreciate yourself and reinvent yourself.

Join Gym, go for biking, swimming, tennis etc.

Hope you have got a good alimony package from him. It should be great enough to hurt him badly.

Iamagoodgirl · Nov 13, 2014

Excersizing reduces emotional pain.Start walk early morning or jog.That helps to move on.

Kamla · Nov 30, 2014

As I proceed to address KP55 for his nomination, I also request the OP Anjuanju to bear with me for intruding in her thread and also wish her well!

Dear KP55,

This reply of your's here has been nominated to FP of the Month by stillwaters for she greatly appreciated your wise and sound advice to the poster who is expressing her distress.

Breakups are extremely shattering and when they write about their distress, I can just imagine how worthy and valuable it must be for them to read and receive such sensible and comforting advise.

I too feel your words here are really to be recommended to anyone going through such a separation in life.

Thanks for being there and lending your heartfelt advise.

L, Kamla

KP55 said: ↑

if you want a guy's prespective, here it is:

since he didn't apologize to you or come clean, he never really loved you. You can take solace in this. It would be heartbreaking if you were walking out on a man who was willing to make amends and correct his ways. But he didn't, he simply let you walk out, so take some joy in this. Imagine if he said "sorry" and emotionally manipulated you back and 2 yrs later he was up to his old tricks. You would feel worse than you do now.

Take the last 3 years as if you went to relationship university and got a masters in healthy relationships. Walking away has probably made you more independent and confident.

Trust me, he will get his due, maybe not now but later. He will meet a woman who will make his life miserable because he doesn't trust himself. He will always be doubtful of his future mate. And if he is screwing escorts, he will never form a healthy relationship; to him its all about sex. I know 3 yrs have passed, but also make sure that you have tested yourself for all STDs.

Don't blame yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. You gave him a chance and he refused to take it and there is only so much you can do afterwards. And it also looks like he has no idea how to meet women if he is chasing after escorts, his friends probably don't take him seriously.

Do what the women are telling you, start taking of yourself first, exercise always helps, do some travelling with a good friend, throw away all memories and keepsakes from the previous relationship (it never was a relationship).

Dont think you are alone; also imagine all the women who stay in the relationships that you had the courage to walk out of. I know many, and they are miserable everyday. They are just a house worker, a nanny and play a role of a wife only for the family pictures and functions.

Sometimes, I do wish more indian women had the courage to do what you did, but sadly they don't. The NRI guys love women from the motherland who will listen to their mothers and stay out of their business.
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KP55 · Dec 2, 2014

WOW! Thank you Kamla. This is a great honor and I also want to thank the ladies of ILadies in helping me understand the female perspective on things. And helping me become a better man in the process. I hope more men can feel free to share their stories and perspectives to ensure we have more wholesome discussions.

Thanks again!