Finally Its Over

Hi Anju,

You are a strong person. the decision you took definitely takes courage. Hats off to you. It will take some time to forget the past. Now that its over you need to move on. I know its easier said than done. you will get over in time.

It will take time heal all those emotional bruises. The separation to the divorce process is a draining experience to anyone. Now that its over the healing process will start. hating a person will keep that person in your thoughts. Trying to forgiving and forgetting, will help you heal, not for his sake but for your own sake.

Hugs and best wishes to you to begin a new life.

 

Congrats dear. I am not being sarcastic. I am saying congrats with my whole heart and a big hug to you.

I am in a similar situation. Still waiting for my divorce.

If you are expecting any kind of change in him or remorse you will be disappointed. They won't change and that is the exact reason why I asked for divorce. I lost hope of change.

And I believe there will be a better future waiting for you. Good luck.

 

Some men are pure male chauvinist pigs.Thank god for blessing you with guts to get him out of your life.Pray to pour your pain and anger to the almighty.Concentrate on the positives of your life.I could understand your feeling of anger in not able to smack his face with the same pain you underwent .But life is not always fair. Dont spoil your peace of mind with that pent up anger.Try to keep yourself busy by not allowing time to think of him.Exercise for good night sleep.

PRAYERS TO YOU DEARconsole1

 

Some tips to overcome

1.Write down all the tortures you dont have to undergo as he became an EX finally. You could read through it when you are down.

2.Exercise to get sound sleep and maintain your confidence.A well toned body makes you feel so good about yourself.

3.Devote some time for social work during weekends.This could bring some much needed peace of mind.

4.Collect all the things that reminds you of his presence in your life.Dispose off as much as possible to charity or seconds sale ,keeping only the imp records.Even bundle the records and keep it in a safe place away from sight(like in a suitcase ).Exchange your jewels for new ones if you had to .Dont feel bad about giving away things ,think of all the positive energy you could get out of throwing them.

 

Salute you for taking a bold decision. It isn't going to be easy but I hope you can pulled it through. Its better to go on separate ways instead of suffering silently. In the end, its our life that need to be taken care. Enjoy your new found freedom....

 

Hi Anju,

My best wishes and blessing are always with you. Be brave.

 

Hi anju ,
whenever you remember a bad incident always say to yourself thank god i don't have to go through it again. Slowly the pain will start reducing .
Don't feel as if the divorce is because of some fault in you . It is obvious who was at fault and you could not have changed him . So don't feel that maybe you didn't do enough to save your marriage.
It was just your bad luck you landed with such a person . But he is not your life . He was just a small part of the bad phase you had . Your whole life is ahead of you . Just try to move on.
Just think all the things you can do now freely like smile and laugh genuinely , feel pleasure , enjoy good things in your life , do whatever you feel like.

 

hi op ,
dont worry about past. You can write a blog. U can persue new hobbies and do journalling. Do lots of fun things .. Be around with positive people.. write down all the fun that u enjoy in your blog .. it will change all ur mood...

 

if you want a guy's prespective, here it is:

since he didn't apologize to you or come clean, he never really loved you. You can take solace in this. It would be heartbreaking if you were walking out on a man who was willing to make amends and correct his ways. But he didn't, he simply let you walk out, so take some joy in this. Imagine if he said "sorry" and emotionally manipulated you back and 2 yrs later he was up to his old tricks. You would feel worse than you do now.

Take the last 3 years as if you went to relationship university and got a masters in healthy relationships. Walking away has probably made you more independent and confident.

Trust me, he will get his due, maybe not now but later. He will meet a woman who will make his life miserable because he doesn't trust himself. He will always be doubtful of his future mate. And if he is screwing escorts, he will never form a healthy relationship; to him its all about sex. I know 3 yrs have passed, but also make sure that you have tested yourself for all STDs.

Don't blame yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. You gave him a chance and he refused to take it and there is only so much you can do afterwards. And it also looks like he has no idea how to meet women if he is chasing after escorts, his friends probably don't take him seriously.

Do what the women are telling you, start taking of yourself first, exercise always helps, do some travelling with a good friend, throw away all memories and keepsakes from the previous relationship (it never was a relationship).

Dont think you are alone; also imagine all the women who stay in the relationships that you had the courage to walk out of. I know many, and they are miserable everyday. They are just a house worker, a nanny and play a role of a wife only for the family pictures and functions.

Sometimes, I do wish more indian women had the courage to do what you did, but sadly they don't. The NRI guys love women from the motherland who will listen to their mothers and stay out of their business.

 

Hi Anju,

I am surprised today when I looked at your post . We are in same boat. I am divorced few days back and the only difference is I have kid with me . Each and every feeling you mentioned about him or about you are same with me. When I am reading your post I felt like there is someone like me and what you said all is true.
On my post " Single mom and responsibility" I got response from IL saying I am courageous and brave...etc. But true , those responses gives us instant energy like Glucon-D but we go back to our past and same old thoughts after a while.
I am not at all disappointing you. But just keep hope in God. Keep your efforts to keep yourself happy and come out of mental trauma.