Finally Its Over

Dear Anju, i had to read your past threads to get some background. what a bunch of absolute low class losers, this man and his family! don't waste another tear for these vermin. you should feel anger at their audacity and proud of yourself for being able to keep your focus, land a job despite everything and for doing so well at it. and also for ending this relationship with such a loser. i know you are seeking some sort of closure for the way he and his family treated you, but you know them, so don't waste even a bit of your mindspace on them. look forward and move on.

celebrate your independence, know that you are going to have a great future and might find an awesome partner. you got your life back and it's only going to get better. so chin up and all the best! hugsmiley

 

OP- What you are going through is normal part of breaking up/ divorce. It takes time to figure things out and the time varies from person to person. For last 3 years, you were not divorced, you were separated. You might have a flicker of hope that he will come back, he will apologize or will cry and ask for forgiveness. Now it's final. Now s the time to move on. Don't expect anything from him and if it makes you feel any better- asking for forgiveness, creating a huge drama to show that he can't live without you etc etc, does not make moving on easier either. You have to find your inner strength and forget about his deeds. If you have a good friend talk to her/ him or go for counseling to get it off your chest. he is not worth your tears. Not anymore anyway. Whenever you feel down, think about the reason you divorced him, it would help you think straight.
How your future going to be? Well, you can't predict (nobody can). But, it won't be worse than living with a cheater. You have already made a right decision. Now your life is in your own hands, do whatever you want to stay happy.

Will you ever forget this part of your life? I guess not. But after sometime you won't feel anything for him or injustice that has been done to you. It will be just apart of your life and hopefully you will be able to talk about it coolly without shedding a single tear.

When I got my divorce decree, I cried but those were tears of joy for getting my life back. I have (and never had) any problem talking about my past because I knew all along why I chose to divorce him. I don't hate him, I am just indifferent.

You need to look beyond the divorcee tag and start living your life. Don't waste your entire life (that you can live happily) for 3 bad years. Learn from this experience and move on.

 

Loads of hugs aunju. Haven't read your previous threads. I know how it feels. Sailing in same boat. Going thro divorce, gal of 4 yrs now, had good time with him, mil problem and he opted to be with her..ditching me. I know he is feeling bad of divorce but then he doesn't want to live with us. Never wanted to see our kiddo even once.
Glad to hear that you are doing well at job. You will take little while to develop thick skin.
All the best

 

Hello Anuj
I am sorry to read ur post. But why should u cry or feel depressed about divorcing tat person. Try to concentrate on ur job.
I am glad to hear tat u r doing very well professionally. That's d way to go.
All tat happens is for our own good. Ur marriage was only a small part of ur life and not ur whole life.
There is a whole world waiting for u and vd d help of ur family and friends u can conquer d world.
BELIEVE IN URSELF.

 

Anju- you are truly awesome because you are one of those rare individuals that who were able to turn a particularly heart breaking life event into something positive. Instead of falling apart, you took charge of your life and devoted yourself to your career and excelled so much that you executive director acknowledged your performance. Please hold on to that fact that you are a strong and courageous woman.

Your husband is truly not worthy of you. So many women in you place would have chosen to compromise their dignity and continue with a worthless marriage to please the society. You choose to do the heard think and decided to remove the source of your unhappiness and start over. Please sell yourself short.

Also, realize that the worst is over and you are almost at the end of the dark tunnel. In addition to focusing on your work, try to surround yourself with positive and happy people so that you do not have time to thing about that worthless man. In time you will heal and I pray you find a man who will cherish you for the wonderful woman that you are.

 

u title says "it finally over". so make it 'over' for good. dont think abour past life.
all the best for ur new life. put up ur chin and walk with courage and confidence to face the world.

 

Anju:
In a divorce, you go through a grief process just as you would for death. Actually it is the death of a marriage and also the death of some dreams perhaps. When I was going through a very bad patch years ago I read a book that really helped me. I would recommend it to you...I think it will help.

http://www.amazon.com/Living-Throug...through+personal+crisis+by+ann+kaiser+stearns