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Divorce Advice needed

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by swarnalakshmin, Sep 8, 2014.

  1. swarnalakshmin

    swarnalakshmin Silver IL'ite

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    Hi ILs,

    Kindly advice me on divorce procedures. I got married on Oct 2007, and I was with my husband for only less time. My MIL, and her sister together with her brother and his wife has tortured me a lot. So I left the house by Mar 2010, and I am not going to their house or not talking with him.

    I was working in a very big IT Company, and after I got married, I couldnt concentrate on the job and I left the company by 2009 and till now I am not in job too.
    My parents who are in their 70s and 60s age are so depressed because of my situation. Till now they are helping and funding me for all my needs. But they are worried what I will do after them as I have no job.

    I have planned to go for a mutual divorce but through my sister i came to know that my husband is not interested on giving me divorce.
    He is such a (I dont want to use any bad words) and he will hear his mothers words.
    I was happier before my marriage and at present I have forgotten the meaning of it. I have lost my health, wealth, happiness and everything.
    Kindly suggest me what should I do.

    Regards
    Swarna
     
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  2. adinil

    adinil Silver IL'ite

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    Sorry to hear about you but why dont you search job and start working since you wont be dependent on any one ?
     
  3. swarnalakshmin

    swarnalakshmin Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Aditi,

    Thanks for your reply. I have started to take up a course in software and I am refreshing. Since its a long break of more than 5 years, I have to refresh myself a lot with new updates of the software. Soon I will be in a job for sure. I have gained a lot of confident after these many years. I am not going to worry about my personal life and my only target at present is my career.
     
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  4. adinil

    adinil Silver IL'ite

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    that the spirit :)...all the best
    just remember come what may "Never give up"..i will pray to baba for your welfare...
    keep in touch
     
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  5. Shina

    Shina Gold IL'ite

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    Dont give up. Keep on looking until u find a job.Study further and increase ur qualifications which will help u in getting a job. Until then earn money giving tuitions etc. Dont be shy to start small as you can progress in ur career through hard work . Have u got advice from a good lawyer as to whether u can get any alimony?Be positive and look after ur parents . all the best.
     
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  6. Harini73

    Harini73 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    As adithi advised start searching for job immediately.

    For divorce contact a good lawyer,but first have talked to your husband regarding the problems.

    Why do not you try to sort out your problems before proceedings for divorce





     
  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    1) Get a job.It will help not only in making you independent but also in case you want to continue in the marriage.
    2) If you do want to give your marriage a second chance...send feelers to the momma boy.
    3)Let him know that any reconciliation between you both would have to involve separate living arrangements from in laws and no interference in your day today life.
    4)meanwhile...do some part time job to build your self esteem and to help out parents.
    5) Stay fit.Do some yoga or other exercise....it will not only keep you looking good and healthy ,but also make you happier.

    Best wishes OP....hope things work out well for you.Do let us know when you get your job .
     
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  8. swarnalakshmin

    swarnalakshmin Silver IL'ite

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    Hi
    Hi All,

    Thanks a lot and lot for your wishes.
    I have taken a lot of steps for our reunion in my first 3 years of married life, which has gotten only negative results. I have given him lots of chances but results are null. So no chance for reunion. My husband needs my union only for the reason as his brother is not getting married.
    I have tried for separate living around 2011, but he clearly said only his mother and his brother are important and not me. And he will not leave them for any reason.
    Part time Job / Tuitions are good things. I will surely try and update you all.

    Exercises - I have put on lot of weight too... I will start from today.
     
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  9. padmaja909

    padmaja909 Platinum IL'ite

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    you will definitely get a good job and be independent. forget past and be happy in future. may baba bless you.
     
  10. pantu

    pantu Gold IL'ite

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    You will get a job dear! Don't worry about your husband. Forget what happened, concentrate what you have right now. Part time jobs are great. Exercise is good for body
    and mind.
     

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