1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Marrying Divorcee

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by sweety17, Jun 26, 2014.

  1. sweety17

    sweety17 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,346
    Likes Received:
    285
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello Ladies,

    One of my classmates has decided to marry a divorcee. This is her first marriage and it will be a love cum arranged marriage. But she is worried about his first wife. It seems they have been granted divorce on grounds of cruelty. And she has heard a lot of stuff about the first wife and her cruelty.

    But i am bit surprised, coz once a couple is divorced legally they would have nothing to do with each other and can happily move on in life. But what i gather is that , the first wife is sort of a psycho(sorry to use this word) and she will create problems for my fren and her (future)husband.

    So, what i want to know, what kind of problems can any first wife create for the new girl who has entered her ex-husband's life. Please remember that she is definitely not in the category letting bygones be bygones and moving on.

    Appreciate your replies/views.
     
    Loading...

  2. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,436
    Likes Received:
    713
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    Ex is ex for a reason ..I don't think she can create any problems unless. Both partners might think of each others as psycho after divorce and we cannot know the real truth.
     
  3. han412

    han412 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    553
    Likes Received:
    420
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    You need to elaborate on that.
     
    2 people like this.
  4. somehurt

    somehurt New IL'ite

    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    144
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Ask her to dump him if she does not want a life partner with unwanted emotional baggage or problems from previous marriage. If it is her first marriage, please advice her about the cons of marrying a divorcee (financial, emotional). Marriage is about partnership and choose a partner wisely.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2014
  5. MrsBV

    MrsBV Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    628
    Likes Received:
    618
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    what is your friends fiance's relationship with the ex wife? is he still in touch? in the end ex doesnt have a say in the your friend's matters legally except in cases where he still has to pay alimony or if child support is involved. Has she cleared her doubts with her fiance? he will be the best guy to answer her questions if she has doubts. if she is willing to make the decision to marry him, i am sure she has given considerable thought to their relationship. i would ask you to your friend to speak to her fiance and clear all doubts about the ex wife.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2014
    1 person likes this.
  6. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,551
    Likes Received:
    2,970
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Very progressive thinking, keep it up!
     
    3 people like this.
  7. kitty89

    kitty89 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    86
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    What wise thinking.. Excellent.. !! Very progressive.


     
  8. sweety17

    sweety17 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,346
    Likes Received:
    285
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    Here am referring to the people involved as below
    Husband- My fren's fiancee
    Wife - Fiancee's ex wife

    The highlights about their case: Wife is a government employee and husband is a private employee.They have a girl kid. Husband bought a house and gave it for rent. Husband bought a second hand car but did not transfer car to his name.

    The below mentioned happened during his visit 3 month onsite trip.

    1. When Husband was abroad, the wife made the tenants living in their house vacate by force. Wife and her family(parents,grandparents) occupied the house.
    2. Wife went to the owner of the car and got car transferred in her name.

    Now husband returns to India and goes to own house as communicated to him. No one comes to receive or send off at the airport for husband. Within a week, police come to his office and arrest him. Why??

    1. Wife lodged a complaint that husband is harassing her for dowry etc. So 498(A) was filed against him and he is jailed for 2 days before he gets bail. And obviously he is thrown out of his own house.
    2. Within 1 month wife files DVC (Domestic Violence Case) on him.
    3. Another 15 days wife files maintenance case in both family and civil courts.

    498(A) and DVC is filed on husband and entire family. Not able to bear this humiliation and torcher husband filed for divorce.

    Divorce was completed within 1.5 years. And since she did not have proof for any incident,husband was granted divorce.

    It is really sad that there are some women out there who misuse law to a great extent to torcher their husbands.How i wish another law is passed to deal with stringent action for women who harass and file false cases against husbands.
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. sweety17

    sweety17 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,346
    Likes Received:
    285
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    somehurt,

    If dumping was really an option, i would have never posted this query. My classmate of course knows the emotional baggage etc. as you mentioned is involved.

    But what i am asking is what kind of troubles can the wife create for a new girl who is entering into her ex's life - legally or otherwise.

    Anyhow appreciate your thoughts, will definitely convey to her.
     
  10. sweety17

    sweety17 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,346
    Likes Received:
    285
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    MrsBV,

    Well the relationship between them is of course bitter. When wife had filed cases, at the very beginning elders intervened and asked to go by divorce by mutual consent. She agreed with condition that he pays 50Lakhs as compensation.But with talks a settlement amount was agreed upon. But while filing the agreement in the court she did a "U" turn and asked for 50Lakhs else she would continue the case.

    Of course they went ahead in the case and she did not get any amount of money as alimony from him. She is extremely fickle minded. One time she says she cannot run around courts anymore and agrees for mediation. After lot of discussions she does a "U" turn. She has no interest in him whatsoever but her reasons are

    1. She wants her records to be shown as "Married" since she is a govt employee.
    2. She doesn't want him to remarry.

    I don't know what to say. Many people are divorcing and moving on, getting married again. But this woman, is so different. She doesn't know what she wants.

    Parents, mediators, lawyers were fed up at point of time and gave up on her. Eventually he won the divorce case. I am told that the judges(females) too gave her private sessions in changing her attitude. But since he won the divorce, it has only made her more bitter.
     

Share This Page