Marrying Divorcee

sweety17 · Jun 27, 2014

Ladies,

I sincerely need your suggestions/experiences/views and thoughts on this situation.

Agreed dumping him is an option. But that would be the last. So don't give me the dumping option.

Doesn't a divorced man have the right to remarry and live his life happily?? Please help!!

god2014 · Jun 27, 2014

I welcome your friends thought to marry a divorcee. If the guy is genuine then he must have no ties or contact with ex. Also you specified that the lady won't allow him, in that case let them stay away from her after marriage. Legally she has no right on this man now. What about the custody of the child. See that your friend in any way don't contact his ex, she would have her own battle to fight in this marriage. So I would suggest they both stay far off from the ex. You can register a complaint if she does any drama. But only thing your friend and the man she is going to marry should both be truthful and genuine.

Shina · Jun 27, 2014

How close will this divorced wife be living from them? Can they move to some other city? as if they stay close no one can say what she may do.only she knows whats happening in her unstable mind so hard to predict.

But i feel maintaining a distance and getting some legal directions as to what are your options to keep her in check and in what circumstances can you obtain the stay away order (restraining order) from the police dept. etc. take help from some authoritative figures there just to warn her to behave perhaps.

muthuswathi · Jun 27, 2014

My suggestion would be, if possible let her forget this proposal and wait for the better one. Knowingly let her not entangled with problem.

sweety17 · Jun 27, 2014

god2014,

Thanks for your valuable thoughts. Yes the child's custody is with the mother. Also my fren and her fiancee are planning on relocating, since his ex is a govt employee and there is no way she can/will relocate in the near future.

After the trauma that wife has put the husband through, i can say that he loathes her. There is no way he is going to ever turn back. I too spoke to him once, and i have seen that he is literally broken after what he went through. Putting him and family in jail and dragging them to court and making lives terrible. He is getting a lot better and has started to have a hope for living with the company of my fren. But my fren is just scared that this ex wife will create troubles.

Yes my fren has gone thorugh all the documents of the court proceedings and legally the ex has no right on him at all.

sweety17 · Jun 27, 2014

Shina,

I think you nailed it. We were thinking on the same lines too. Sure, will advice her about the restraining order. And yes they are planning on relocating too. Thanks for your valuable inputs.

god2014 · Jun 27, 2014

sweety17 said: ↑

god2014,

Thanks for your valuable thoughts. Yes the child's custody is with the mother. Also my fren and her fiancee are planning on relocating, since his ex is a govt employee and there is no way she can/will relocate in the near future.

After the trauma that wife has put the husband through, i can say that he loathes her. There is no way he is going to ever turn back. I too spoke to him once, and i have seen that he is literally broken after what he went through. Putting him and family in jail and dragging them to court and making lives terrible. He is getting a lot better and has started to have a hope for living with the company of my fren. But my fren is just scared that this ex wife will create troubles.

Yes my fren has gone thorugh all the documents of the court proceedings and legally the ex has no right on him at all.
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No worries at all, ask your friend to start her life with energy and love. No ex or y can create problem, ask her to first shun the fear. Until unless the people your and her guy never create problem with in themselves no external element would spoil their life. So best wishes for marriage, ask her to go aboard for some time if possible a change.

Also is his daughter attached to him, will he visit her. See that those side are also clear. Merely worrying about ex will never solve anything. Come out of fear, ask her to begin the life with positive note.................

sweety17 · Jun 27, 2014

god2014,

yes there is attachment to his daughter. But i believe that he asked for visiting rights only for important days in her life like graduation/marriage.

Yes going abroad for few years sounds best option. Probably the wife will have time deal with her own emotions/thoughts. And they can be away from her.

i know she should stop worrying and focus on her life first. Thanks for those positive thoughts. Really appreciate!!

MrsBV · Jun 27, 2014

sweety17 said: ↑

MrsBV,

Well the relationship between them is of course bitter. When wife had filed cases, at the very beginning elders intervened and asked to go by divorce by mutual consent. She agreed with condition that he pays 50Lakhs as compensation.But with talks a settlement amount was agreed upon. But while filing the agreement in the court she did a "U" turn and asked for 50Lakhs else she would continue the case.

Of course they went ahead in the case and she did not get any amount of money as alimony from him. She is extremely fickle minded. One time she says she cannot run around courts anymore and agrees for mediation. After lot of discussions she does a "U" turn. She has no interest in him whatsoever but her reasons are

1. She wants her records to be shown as "Married" since she is a govt employee.
2. She doesn't want him to remarry.

I don't know what to say. Many people are divorcing and moving on, getting married again. But this woman, is so different. She doesn't know what she wants.

Parents, mediators, lawyers were fed up at point of time and gave up on her. Eventually he won the divorce case. I am told that the judges(females) too gave her private sessions in changing her attitude. But since he won the divorce, it has only made her more bitter.
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Sweety I think your friend's fiance should register a complaint against her for harassment. Speak to your lawyer for options, if I am not mistaken recent changes to Indian laws after Delhi rape has led to the law only allowing women to file a stalking case (which I believe is unfair - this should be gender neutral). Does your friend's fiance meet his daughter, who has custody? Can the two think of moving to a different country or state after marriage?

MrsBV · Jun 27, 2014

sorry didnt realize that you had mentioned the custody was with the mother. i do think its important to check for legal options and move out. better safe than sorry.