Divorced and dating a younger guy

I find this comment is very appropriate and valid..

There are many couples who have Bigger age Gaps leading happy married life. So the Age is not an issue in this relationship.

I think , for his parents, more critical might be your marital status ''divorced''..Your Age compare to him would add more spice into it..

He is young and this could just be an infatuation for him..Before giving hope to yourself, try to find out how serious he is with this relationship? Is there any plan B, if his parents continue to oppose this marriage? In case if you go ahead with the marriage, are you prepared to live separately from his parents?..

Define a time frame for all these activities..Make a stern decision, instead of indefinitely waiting for the change of mind of his parents..

 

congratulations... Good luckk...

 

it is easy to say these things when you are not yet fully into and invested in the relationship, I mean in terms of a ceremony. Take your time even though his parents have 'agreed'. meet them try to find out what is in their minds. It could be that they have 'agreed' becos their son has not left them any choice and they r planning to take it out on you for the rest of your life. Or it could be that they r placing son's happiness paramount and accepted you fully. which is it? why is your mom warning you?

 

Hi OP


If you are going to stay in India - sooner or later this is going to hit you. Even if ILs agree and like you, some other relative or neighbors questions slowly might start straining the relationship. People might tell you - you hooked the boy... boy was simple straight guy. Be ready for all kind of talks.

However, staying away ( like US) away from your ILs and relatives, you would not hear a lot to worry what they say.

Men care less about their parents when young & before marriage. But they change and shock you. Even if you love your BF and think he is a very good person, its different when married.So I would suggest be in good harmony with your ILs as sooner or later you are going to need them. Do not marry against their wishes.

 

Please dont believe that all IL'are like what you read here. There are plenty of decent people in India. As long as you and your future husband stands by each other, that is all that matters.

Best Wishes on you marriage.

Btw, Sachin Tendulkar married a woman 6 years his senior and they are happily married. Anil Kumble married a divorcee and as far as I know is happy.

 

The "OP " did mention few posts above that his parents did agree to the marriage .

Can anyone plan their lives based on what the "Neighbors " and 'relatives " might think and on hypothesis that they might strain the relationship in future ?

 

Sorry for replying on old thread.

I being divorcee and single parent of 4yr old gal, don't feel less desirable.

Many of them asking me to find partner of my choice or meet guys (in same boat) of parents choice. Ppl give me some non-sense advise of endless compromises, sacrifices, some ask to find partner, some ask to stay single, blah blah blah....blah.

Why ppl feel that my marriage didn't survive coz it was my inefficiency to handle it. Even if I was super efficient it was his intentions to break marriage and his inefficiency to stand for me and kiddo.

Why a girl is penalized for being victim of some situation? Why is it she made looked down without being fault of her.

PS just a vent out.

 

Sorry about this, but I am sure you are happy about divorcing someone you feel incompatible to live with.

You are living in a country which worships marriages no matter what. People, specially women are expected to do anything and everything ONLY to save her marriage, because coming out of a wedlock means none other than jumping into the fire from the frying pan. Not easy.
As they say, a known devil is better than an unknown angel. Nothing is dependable.

However, the above message is only for those who think "marriage is their life" and there is no life out of it.

The ones who believe in life, and marriage as part of it, will find their way to lead a meaningful life with or without marriage.

I have a best friend, who lives in Jordan right now. She was divorced 14 days after her marriage due to her husband's affair with his ex, and ex became pregnant unexpectedly at the time of his marriage with my friend. After knowing details of his ex affair, my friend walked out; thus eventually divorced. But destiny would have something written for us na.. This girl found out that she is pregnant- months later(due to stress did not noticed) after her divorce.
Much to her dismay, she saw her husband and his ex together as couples with a tiny baby when she was taken to the hospital with labor pain alone.

She believed in a life. Stood for her baby.. Progressed in career. Started everything from the scratch. Life wasn't easy at all. Her parents being working couple did not help her much with the kid. She stayed in several places as PG, and managed the kid via nannies only.

Now her son is 8 years old, she is promoted to Jordan. Her parents are living with her only.
She is 32 and looking much much younger to her age. She is stylish, and she has so much friends.
Now she is gonna marry her best friend, who is never married before.

PS: Her ex husband leads a very poor life back home with 3 girl children and very troubled marriage.

I would advice all the divorced girls to wait... Dont rush for the second marriage. Nothing is too late.
You have married once, and accept the fact that this is gonna be an extension of your life. Not a complete new life.
Establish yourself. Be a complete woman. If you have children, live for them. Lead a happy life in every aspect, that gives you confidence. When everything seems bright about you, the right partner will come/or you will see him. Then only go for the marriage.

Some people rush for the second marriage months after divorce. They look and look again on marriage alliances only to come back to square 1.