Fight or let go

Hey Ladies,
As some of you know, I decided to come to India to give my DH some time to think over our situation (Gist of my story, love marriage - married for 10 year with 2 kids - DH has a history of adultry - recently sued for paternity by another lady - when confronted for peaceful separation, he resorted to violence - I decided to come to India to give him some time). Now, after almost 5 months, he is still extremely non-cooperative. He is acting as if his ultimate aim is to ruin my life all around - even if it means he will ruin his own future and our kids future.
Here are my options;
1) Go back to US, get back to my old job and fight with him for the custody of kids
Pros: I do not have interrupt my career, kids will go back to the same school and may be he will change his attitude to be involved in kids life.
Cons: He may put up a stiff fight regarding kid custody, may even resort to extremes (as he absolutely does not care about our feelings now). I will have no support, will have lead a single mom life with a demanding career.
---- This ia an ego fluffing choice as this will give me an emotional satisfaction that I fought and did not give up everything because of him.
2) Stay in India, take up new job (salary not an issue) and put the kids in school.
Pros: Will be very far from him, in peace, do not have fight. Kids need not witness all the drama of custody battle during divorce . Ofcourse, I will get help from family and friends.
Cons: Start new life all over for both kids and I. The role of Dad in kids life becomes minimal (if any!), unless a miracle happens and he decides to move to India.
-------- This is a pragmatic choice, lets me live in peace and move on with my life.

What would you do?
Thanks

Hi Drjp

Is your husabdn attcahed to the kids. If yes, I would suggest that you go to US and have the joint custody of the kids, that way kids wil get the love and affection of both the parents.

If he is not then, I would personally suggest that you stay on in India and concentrate on your kids. I am telling this from my personal experience. My husband married someone else without divorcing me and never took the responsibility of my daughter. I had the option of fighting it out in the court, but chose to set him free,as that would have meant long litigation procedure and loss of time and money. I wanted to take care of my sick daughter, so I chose to let go.

One of my uncle's doesn't talk to me till today as being a lawyer he feels that I let him off easily and I didn't give him a tough fight. But, I have my peace of mind.

He never asked for visitation rights or custody of the daughter and gave just 90,000 as one time maintenance for my daughter.If I would have fought i would have got much-much more, but, i was not ready to pay for the mental agony and loss of time. So decided to let go.

Other Ilites may give better alternative. Mine was totally personal experience

Best wishes
Ansh

Hi Drjp,
I really feel sorry about your situation.
Sometime back, I had read your posts.
I feel that you should stay back in India and start a new life all over (incase if your husband doesn't love kids).
You will get lots of moral support from family and kids also will learn the family values, relationships etc seeing your brothers/sisters family.
Even kids will also get some love/affections from your family members.
In India you might get help, where as in US, you are all alone by yourself and no help for you or your kids.
This is just my opinion.
Keep take care of yourself first.

Regards.

Hi Djrp,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I would suggest it is best you stay in India. It is hard to be a single mom in the US without any parental support. Since your husband was sued for paternity you will have any upper hand in the divorce proceedings.

Thanks,
Kavya.

Puni and Kavya,
Thanks for your concern and suggestions. You guys have some valid points.

Drjp,
Like others said, even I feel you should let go and live your life in peace.
There is no point in going to US and fighting the battle, it will give you more stress and unnecessary tensions to go through.
Take care of your self and ur kids and live in peace.

Good luck!!

Hi Drjp,
I am sorry to hear about your situation.
Live in peace and also keep your kids in a happy and peaceful environment. Let go bygones are gone don't even turn and look back, If you are in India your children will have their Grandparents support too. Move on with your life and keep yourself happy.

-Vidya

Thank you guys.
I appreciate your input.