Should I live with my husband

padmapr · Jan 15, 2014

I am married for almost 10 years to a guy who could not move out with me leaving his parents home. After trying all possible ways, I left to my parents place in the same city along with my toddler son.
Now my son is 8 and needs a dad and my husband never put in any efforts to come back to me though he expresses his concern and love via emails and chats and facebook updates.
Now I forced him to come to my parents place and asked to make a final decision of either moving out with me to a new place or a divorce.
He agreed to live with me from now but somehow I cant trust him that he will not leave me and go to his parents again. He is a pampered son of his parents and very close to them. But this time my inlaws are on my side and forcing him to live with me separately.
He says he is happy but yesterday I found that he was having a serious affair with a friend of his for the past 5 months. I am devastated though he disagrees that he ever had, I read all her smses that said that he slept with her!
He never accepted that he did but wants to move out with me to a new place.
Im not sure now if I should really do it or simply leave this guy.
I see that he posts stupid and vulgar jokes on facebook even today while I am suffering his betrayal.
How to change him and will he really be faithful to me from now? He is not ready to sit and talk to me seriosuly and avoids all discussions.
All in my family love him as he is otherwise a caring person and a good father and has been a great hubby when I lived at his parents with him.
WHat changed now? Did these 5 years of staying away from each other really changed him?
But I wanted him to change for good and become a responsible hubby. Did I fail?
Im unable to forget the betrayal of his.

omnam · Jan 17, 2014

why stories are sounding same in IL now-a-days? is there a special spectacles on my eyes whcih reads only this story. Kavita is freind, padmap is wife and Dentist is husband. waiting for the perspective of a GF the patient.

Editing for update- Ok now we have GF post too. Daisy123.

Who-so-ever we are having good time reading your posts. oh my all u 4 are talking of same story and with different icons for your post. angry smiley, sad and very sad.

sdiva20 · Jan 20, 2014

laugh1smiley

Hyderabad703 · Mar 16, 2014

You want to just give divorce because of place constraint, i think better for him to give divorce if he accepts to move to your place you may put another condition so i think better leave him alone

aamrapali · Mar 16, 2014

Did these 5 years of staying away from each other really changed him?
Yes - five years is a long time. People fall out of love and move on. Five years is a very long time to have a strained marriage with separation. People get tired and try to find relief and respite, which is what he did.

But I wanted him to change for good and become a responsible hubby. Did I fail?
No. Why should you blame yourself for his shortcomings. Some people just never grow up and from what you say looks like he was one of them, who could not cut the cord and grow up and prioritize and make decisions for what is good for him, his wife, and his kid. If you think about it, he is ruining his own life, let alone be able to think about your boths.

About if you should leave him - you are the best judge. If you want to start living together, the life together had better be good, else what is the point in keeping a home for your son's sake if your son sees friction day in day out. Soon he may grow up to realize his mother does not trust his father, his father does not love or care for his mother and this will have a much longer lasting impact on him.

Iamagoodgirl · Mar 18, 2014

why do you want to stya with husband after all this?Are you able to manage financially yourself and son?

sumalynux · Mar 18, 2014

Yes this is that dentist's story...:exactly:

Vemala · Mar 18, 2014

sumalynux said: ↑

Yes this is that dentist's story...:exactly:
Click to expand...

I though dentist's are exhausted with the story. Do u mean OP is dentist's wife, the final contestant for the dentist story ???...:cool2:

I feel its genuine(definitly not dentist may be) one because of the pattern of posting...As of benefit of doubt, who ever want to answer...lets leave it...