10 Good PRO'S of leaving EX Husband !

Maddy2087 · Jan 18, 2014

induarc2013 said: ↑

Maddy u r awesomeeeee...
u r soooo inspiring ..kneesmiley
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Thank you soo much dear . Have a great day

Maddy2087 · Jan 18, 2014

Please contribute friends this will surely help you as well as others a lot .

bubai · Jan 30, 2014

Maddy dear,

Happy New year! Loved every line you have written....God bless you!

Best,
--Bubai

AshMenon · Jan 30, 2014

Maddy - Truly inspiring. I feel your post will give some courage to those ladies who are just silently suffering. It takes a good amount of strength to come out of such a relationship. Am glad you did that. Salute! :bowdown

desilady13 · Jan 31, 2014

Dear Maddy, what a beautiful thought. Great start and def good to put it out there and think in terms of what 'you dont' have to do!

1. Biggest for me - Dont have to shell out $1500+ every month towards paying bills, while he gets to send money to his parents, relatives, friends, sister, BIL whoever he wants without ever having to tell me
2. Dont have to worry about how long he's been on the phone; 3-4 hours every weekend, talking from which corner of the house.
3. Don't have to worry and have this constant discussion of talking to his Dad, after what I had gone through in front of him when they visited.
4. Dont have to listen to his mother's constant praises of how great he is, how many awards he received in his lifetime, how much he is not used to 'working' around the house, how much 'great and god-like are his parents etc etc...!
5. Don't have to force him to vaccum the house, pick his own plate up, and maintain basic cleanliness of the house.
6. Dont have to deal with things like "you know, my son looks like my father, and i sincerely hope he becomes like him, and he is as fair as my sister" while i stand right there in front of him while he says such things to his cousin whom he apparently doesnt like!
7. I dont have to force him to spend time with his own kid, or take the kid somewhere outside, or even write a small letter to the kid (to include in my scrapbook) when he was born!- This mattered 2 years ago, not anymore obviously! [Now it doesnt matter, as he wants to 'psychologically' manipulate our kid]
8. I dont have to be his 'punching bag'.
9. I dont have to constantly bear his 'hypocry' and double standard attitude - of being extremely social outside while giving me 'his real self'
10. I dont have to respond to his emails (and he loves loves writing emails and sucking me into it) of why we don't have as much sex,and that something is wrong with me!!!

3 more -
11. Dont have to worry about any voice recording devices he might have placed in the car or elsewhere.
12. Dont have to worry about him fighting with me, having an ongoing tension in the house, and then a sorry card. I had enough sorry cards for a lifetime with those experiences.
14. I dont have to take permission from him about when my Mom can visit me, and for how long.

I can write more, but will stop there!

Great thread, got me thinking.,

Maddy2087 · Feb 1, 2014

bubai said: ↑

Maddy dear,

Happy New year! Loved every line you have written....God bless you!

Best,
--Bubai
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Happy new year to you too.. Thanks a lot Bubai dear

Maddy2087 · Feb 1, 2014

AshMenon said: ↑

Maddy - Truly inspiring. I feel your post will give some courage to those ladies who are just silently suffering. It takes a good amount of strength to come out of such a relationship. Am glad you did that. Salute! :bowdown
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Hi Ashmenon,

I believe that there is noting to lose in life in general and it is always the best course to leave abusive relationships.

Thanks dear

With Love,
Maddy

Maddy2087 · Feb 1, 2014

desilady13 said: ↑

2. Dont have to worry about how long he's been on the phone; 3-4 hours every weekend, talking from which corner of the house.
3. Don't have to worry and have this constant discussion of talking to his Dad, after what I had gone through in front of him when they visited.
,
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Thanks a lot my dear for the contribution. You are a trooper !

The same happened with me too. My ex used to sit in some corner of the room discussing something with his folks with doors closed. I found one thing very weird with his behavior. He would talk to his younger sister for hours locked inside the bathroom . His sister would insist on buying her lingerie with him as she dint want me to accompany her in the lingerie purchase. My ex would deliberately touch her padded bra and ask is this your( to his sister). Weirdo's . So i am very very very very very very happy that i don't have to be with that family anymore .

I am blessed .. I cant thank God enough dear to have saved me from that butcher !

I am very very happy for you desilady that you are out of this mess . You are a free bird now and can achieve so much in life ! Explore this world with your LO !

My best wishes are always with you

With Love,
Maddy

bluebanana · Jun 23, 2014

Maddy2087 said: ↑

Hi all my darlings,

What were the 10 amazing things you felt after leaving your EX?Kindly share your feelings here and i am sure that it will be so helpful in relieving yourself from unwanted burden. Let me the first one to share .

1) I was very happy that i could work and be financial independent in life because he never wanted me to work inspite of being sponsored with an EAD card.moneysmiley
2) I can study further without having to convince him on how important it is for me to pursue my education.
3)I was happy because i could shop as much as i want without having to take his permission .He was very dexterous at drawing circumference for me .
4) I can take care of my parents without having someone to curse them . This was the best blessing i received because i love my parents and sister to death.They mean the world to me.
5) I am happy that i am a free bird and liberated.
6) I can go wherever and whenever i want without having to take his permissions.
7) I never have to worry about who he is talking to early morning stealthy inside the bathroom without my knowledge.
8) I would never have to cook 3 times a day, wash all his dirty clothes , clean all the utensils , complete all the household work without any help.They considered me a servant and a cook .
9)I never have to hear screams , banging , cuss , bad words again ever in life !
10) There is nobody to put me down and break my confidence. I can do what ever i like and i am sooooooooooooooo happy for that.arty

I AM ADDING 2 MORE EXTRA :

11) I don't have to cook for my FIL who always criticized me and planned all the mind games with his son to ruin my life.
12) Most importantly i don't have to face that loser family again in life except court trials which i am totally fine with !!!

I was thinking about this yesterday and had such a biggggggg smile :rotfl . I gave a huge thumbs up to my happiness after knowing all the pro's.I am sure you will also have a big smile transferred to your face after writing all the pro's of leaving your ex.

There is more to be added to this list but, later in some other post .

Please share my dear friends. I am curious to know

PS : YOU ARE FREE TO VENT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT . GET THAT BURDEN OUT . 2014 IS WELCOMING US WITH THE BEST . LETS CELEBRATE.

With love,
Maddy
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:thumbsup
May god bless you with all the love and happiness you deserve. hugsmiley

Mazel · Aug 17, 2014

As far as my knowledge & research, i do not think its easy to change an abusive person. It might be possible but requires lot of effort from the person himself too.

I agree with you about people taking divorces on basis of incompatibility. Incompatibility is just a single word commonly given by many , but that single term has a wide range of issues .. ranging from little ego issues to very serious ones. So it is highly difficult to generalize on that basis from an outsider view.