Life without soulmate

Sravanthi28 · May 24, 2013

living in hell is what it is like when one loses the most important person in their life,actually their life. i dont want to ee/hear/feel anything that my dear cannot do anymore. enni kalalu kannamu kalisi, anni maayamayyipoyayi. why didnot mother earth swallow me too, i jst want to throw everything and run away from the world. we always thought that when one of us dies, the other too will die immediately but i am still here in this world , alone . i cant explain what i am feeling right now. i want to hear his voice, want him to hear my voice. i want to wear my mangalasutra again. i want to see the appreciation in his eyes when ipreserve as memories, the letters and gifts that we shared as lovers or the wear the dresses he likes. dont know how to express. i dont know what to ones that he left for me today, his clothes, tooth brush, comb, personal accessories, hair on the shampoo bottle, the things/choclates that he bought for me and son for the last time. the last time i spoke to him on mobile was on 29th march.the mobile too lay there lifeless. am in deep pain, he has left me and my son to stuggle in this world. once a lucky kid has suddenly become a fatherless kid.
Physical dependency, financial dependency ,anything can be dealt with but emotioal dependency is hard to conquer. No one expects an young man of 32 years to die of heart attack, unless mine & my son's fate is written in such a way. look how i am able to overcome my grief , our son has become my son from when?

Chitravivek · May 24, 2013

I am sorry you're going through this. Nothing can console you and your son. I am deeply saddened with what you're facing right now. This should not have happened to your hubby, yet it did.. You need to be strong and brave for your son. You're his father and mother now. Show him the courage and stand up and fight for him. Show him nothing will change in his life and you will provide all that he always logged for. I know a father is irreplaceable but you need to put a strong face in front of your son. Do you have a job? Can you both be financial independant? Please let me know if I can help you in any way. Vent out all your grief, dont keep inside.

Sravanthi28 said: ↑

living in hell is what it is like when one loses the most important person in their life,actually their life. i dont want to ee/hear/feel anything that my dear cannot do anymore. enni kalalu kannamu kalisi, anni maayamayyipoyayi. why didnot mother earth swallow me too, i jst want to throw everything and run away from the world. we always thought that when one of us dies, the other too will die immediately but i am still here in this world , alone . i cant explain what i am feeling right now. i want to hear his voice, want him to hear my voice. i want to wear my mangalasutra again. i want to see the appreciation in his eyes when ipreserve as memories, the letters and gifts that we shared as lovers or the wear the dresses he likes. dont know how to express. i dont know what to ones that he left for me today, his clothes, tooth brush, comb, personal accessories, hair on the shampoo bottle, the things/choclates that he bought for me and son for the last time. the last time i spoke to him on mobile was on 29th march.the mobile too lay there lifeless. am in deep pain, he has left me and my son to stuggle in this world. once a lucky kid has suddenly become a fatherless kid.
Physical dependency, financial dependency ,anything can be dealt with but emotioal dependency is hard to conquer. No one expects an young man of 32 years to die of heart attack, unless mine & my son's fate is written in such a way. look how i am able to overcome my grief , our son has become my son from when?
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uma321 · May 24, 2013

Sravanthi28 said: ↑

living in hell is what it is like when one loses the most important person in their life,actually their life. i dont want to ee/hear/feel anything that my dear cannot do anymore. enni kalalu kannamu kalisi, anni maayamayyipoyayi. why didnot mother earth swallow me too, i jst want to throw everything and run away from the world. we always thought that when one of us dies, the other too will die immediately but i am still here in this world , alone . i cant explain what i am feeling right now. i want to hear his voice, want him to hear my voice. i want to wear my mangalasutra again. i want to see the appreciation in his eyes when ipreserve as memories, the letters and gifts that we shared as lovers or the wear the dresses he likes. dont know how to express. i dont know what to ones that he left for me today, his clothes, tooth brush, comb, personal accessories, hair on the shampoo bottle, the things/choclates that he bought for me and son for the last time. the last time i spoke to him on mobile was on 29th march.the mobile too lay there lifeless. am in deep pain, he has left me and my son to stuggle in this world. once a lucky kid has suddenly become a fatherless kid.
Physical dependency, financial dependency ,anything can be dealt with but emotioal dependency is hard to conquer. No one expects an young man of 32 years to die of heart attack, unless mine & my son's fate is written in such a way. look how i am able to overcome my grief , our son has become my son from when?
Click to expand...

Sravanthi,

I can't imagine what you go through right now. May his soul rest in peace. If your son is less than 5 years old, leave him to your loved ones and take care of yourself first. You need to become strong. Let's hope time will heal the pain.

I don't know what else to say. Take care and surround yourself with your loved ones and take one step at a time.

Rakhii · May 24, 2013

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Its terrible, I dont know what to say to console you. Hugs to you. Is there anyway I can help? Do you have a job...something to go by?

Anitap · May 24, 2013

Sorry for your loss sravanthi. Hugs to you dear. Your post brings tears to my eyes.

suasin · May 25, 2013

Dear Sravanthi,
Hugs to you. So unfair.I see my friend in a similar situation. Her life changed in Dec, in a New year party. Hardly a waking moment without thinking of her. Oh, to see your pain, we are all reminded the futility of our life.
I will tell you what we tell her. Please wear your mangalsutra. He will want you to. He bought all those clothes and jewels for you so you will wear them.Please give your son double the love, never his son should want for anything. He did not live his life to the fullest, he has to live through you both. He trusted you with his son , be strong for him. The moment you feel he has left you, only then he has left you. As long as he is there in your heart, he will guide you through your life.
May God give you the strength to survive this.