A rant…

HGulla,

Read your thread. Sorry for my late post. I was little busy with "couple of other interesting threads". Those threads really kept me on my toes.

Two members have made comments about Men and relationships. Obviously these 2 members have expertise in Men and Relationships to stereotype and generalize Men. Comments like "I never thought that men will feel bad about relation ship failure. I have seen all guys moving on quickly" proves that.
Maybe your thread will change female attitude towards Men and they can open their eyes to see that Men also have feelings and something called emotions.

Nevertheless - In your thread you wondered if there is something called God. My answer is YES...There is. Let me tell you why I think there is.

I am married for few years now, arranged marriage, The Bride came to my house with her aunt to "show" herself. After couple of meetings I decided and said Yes. We got engaged officially. Now just few mths before we were to marry, there was some stupid misunderstanding and our engagement was broken. My future FIL had some argument with my dad. I came in the evening from work. He told me about it and in the heat of the moment I called my FIL and I said I don't want to marry and I am breaking this engagement. I curse my luck even today for this. I wish i was home that fateful day when these 2 people had this stupid argument. I would have been able to cool them down but that was not the case.

Anyway one fine afternoon I was in the train and was going home from work. I fell asleep. In my sleep, something or someone told told me " You know what happened was not right. Go to their home, apologize even if it is not your fault and fix this". I went to their home after I got down from the train in the afternoon and apologized. My FIL quickly called the bride's uncle ( mom's brother) and couple of other family members as evidence that the groom who had broken the engagement has come down on his knees to beg our girl's hand in marriage. I did not mind this attitide from my FIL. I had just come to fix this. Few months later we got married. I have had lot of issues after marriage. Because of this incident there was and there still is friction between my FIL and dad, even my wife and dad. It was like I came to their home to beg for the daughter's hand in marriage. I so many times have cursed myself " Why did I go to their home". The engagement was broken. That should have been the end of it. But this voice said " Go fix it", So I went. Sometimes I even think that it was the Devil disguised as God who told me to Fix it. But I have 2 daughters now. Things are little better now and it will get better thats what I hope.

Another example I can give you is I was in 2nd year engineering ( 3rd Sem), my 3rd Semester exams were approaching and my mom was in the hospital almost on the verge of dying. Doctors had given up all hope. You know I prayed to God and said " I dont care if I get KTs, but make my mom better" and he listened. I got 3 KTs but my mom got better in few weeks. I did manage to clear my KTs later on.

There have been other incidents in my life where I have asked for help and "someone divine" has helped me from miserable circumstances.

So hgulla - Don't lose hope. Everything will be alright. If you and her, have already decided to move on, all the best for you buddy and to her as well. Who knows this may be the beginning of something nice to come for you and her as well.

P.S - As Naksh suggested make some Hulla Gulla and eat some rasgulla

 

Hgulla,

On reading your recent posts, you are too level-headed to be impaired by these ripples in life! You have the right attitude and mind-set to embark on a glorious future. Either way (back[patch-up] or forward[divorce]), I see you making it with a happy ending. Aah! Just when I feel life would stop to amaze me I see another, another, another AND another, ..incredibly balanced and sane person who knows what he wants in life and how to achieve it ..you'll just be and do fine for you ...

You will trust , believe and again be happy in life...for sure! But ye ..hate to give these vague stmts..if you can, fix your marriage or else still life will take a turn and fix you..er..how do I put it ...either way your attitude in life will make it sail through...(phew!)

Read this beautiful stmt yesterday on an article on Brosnan and Keely - 'It takes two complete people to come together and be in a relationship not two halves joining to be one'. Hope you understand the subtle hint there...explore your life in a way that you awe at self what you are capable of doing and ..when the time comes ..the right person will walk into your life ..(know who much you are bombarded with this saying .. unfortunately that is the TRUTH)

I wish I could just tell you life ain't as scary based on what I see in real life (friends, acquaintances) but don't wanna paint a rosy picture based on few posts I read here in virtual life ...you never know what it will be like for you ...(read that as what you make out of it)

 

Hope and pray that everything will be fine one day.

 

i really don't know abt immigration issues, but wonder why gc is going to help u or her. what will happen if u get gc and she still can't find job. being with brother is not a solution. anyhow i feel there needs some counselling for ur wife to change attitude. there is still a place for karma whether u believe it or not in this world. otherwise each and everyone will have to go into depression by the shortcomings in their life. putting the blame on karma helps to move forward rather than think about the unfortunate instances in ur life. think of the number of positives in ur life. u have plenty except for wife. always look on the other side and see people suffering without any of those. it gives good direction and changes attitude and look at life. serve as a voluntary worker in a hospital or aged care facility. it will give new perception to looking at life. try to talk to the unfortunate souls in life. make them happier which will make us happier in return. moreover when i see sick people and suffer i feel no matter how much they have they can't be happy. but u both have everything a person needs but no happiness. happiness has to be made by compromises. hope it happens to u. i do not believe in the saying made for each other. if u see elderly couples we have to think that they made their life happier by compromising and sacrificing a lot for each others sake. that what makes them sail the boat of life. anyhow enough of my preachings, but still happy wedding anniversary to u both.

 

If you are a carefree person and relationship is just like that for fun(doesn't imply sex), then you don't feel bad for a break up. The modern courtship have changed, people are living together in marriage with less emotional content that it was from the previous generation. So breakups before / after marriage seem not so traumatic.

Its the generation of individuality, the freedom and life one gets, less to do with relationships in general. If you carefully observe the way people interacting with each other in a non-professional setting you understand it. All interactions become very short, like the SMS, quick bite sized. It used to be an elaborate process before.