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Need advice.upset again- New match

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by ivlakshmi, Feb 17, 2013.

  1. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    He looks good but too short. i am so upset. My ex was 6 ft ,good looking and we look like good pair. This guy is 5'4 and face looks are ok. If things happen we would look like tom and jerry.
    I wanted at least 5'7. I am scared of compatibility in terms of physical intimacy. My parents are on my head to get me married to this guy.
     
  2. Wondergirl137

    Wondergirl137 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Laksmi,
    Calm down...nobody can force you to marry him against your wish. Good that you sent your photographs...just give it a shot and go meet see if you like him enough to start talking...treat it like an interview dear...if nothing you would gain some experience about what goes inside a divorced/separated mans mind...their expectations etc etc.
    And please don't ever ever compare any prospect with your EX...its not at all a kind thing to do. If the prospect isn't tall enough or too thin...he himself isn't responsible for his height or looks...its his gene. Agreed,your ex was tall and good looking and you guys made a very good pair but you also know that he was not man enough (I read your past posts and sorry if I sound harsh). Looks alone.... or height alone.... or money alone don't ensure a good happy married life...you know that right?
    Go ahead (for not only marriage but everything that you do in life) with an open mind and heart.....things will work in your favour :)
    My good wishes for a beautiful future :)
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
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  3. anitharajan

    anitharajan Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Friend,

    Apart from the height did you see any problem with him... just check. Becasue the next option may be too bad or not good looking or not so adjustive or anything will be there.

    When you go with next, next and next life will just move on. Later you should not feel that this 5'4 guy was far better.
    Better check for options and give a NO. If not just go with him if he is of same height.

    My sister also was trying to reject a guy of same height and for more reasons, but today she got married to the same fellow and she is telling she is 200% happy in her life.

    So please think before saying a BIG No pease.

    Cheers,
    Anitha
     
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  4. ssm014

    ssm014 Platinum IL'ite

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    If u made a "good" pair, are you guys even together?? and I remember your earlier posts about why you guys separated and things like that ....

    So stop comparing with your ex..this is not a competition on who nets a good match

    Looks like you need a lot of figuring out to do..:bowdown

    sorry for the rant, but 2 of my best school buddies are right now in process of separation with their DHs..all matched, looks, jobs,family, bank balance, horoscope...but still are in abusive relationships

    p.S what if this guy were to reject your proposal after comparing you with his earlier spouse??
     
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  5. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    lakshmi, please dont compare with your ex..give this person a try..DH and me are just an inch apart but i cant really imagine my life if i hadnt got married to him..just meet the person and give it a try..
     
  6. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear IVL,
    Please do not think of your ex at all or you will never be happy , obviously he was not your Prince Charming !
    Your parents must be trying to tell you the same thing.
    Better get ex out of your system before you remarry anyone or you will keep comparing .
    Its not a let-down if your spouse is not as good looking as your ex but has other good qualities which ex was lacking.
    Maybe you are thinking of your ex and his new wife.

    However if you really detest the idea of a 'Tom and Jerry match' then don't even meet the guy since you are already against the proposal.
     
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  7. kalyanlonely4

    kalyanlonely4 New IL'ite

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    @ ivlakshmi : Few things dont catch our interest on the very first time. many times we dont like the attitude or looks of new people. But when we come to know about them, they will be come our best friends.

    Try to meet him and talk to him. you might change ur mind. It hearts me to death staying alone. I wish you all the best lakshmi
     
  8. SKMK

    SKMK New IL'ite

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    please meet the guy once. if you feel not interested, then tell you are not favor to this match. or else meet the guy couple of more times before taking decision. but no wrong in meeting the guy na.
     
  9. curious28

    curious28 Silver IL'ite

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    meet him once gal !!! apart from looks, there are still many factors to determine ur compatibility with him. Good that u've sent your pictures to him.
     
  10. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    yeah :).. thnk u ladies and dear friends
     

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