Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus!

yeah I have read the book too.But mind you,this works if and only if one's partner is also willing to work!

 

It takes two sides to have a conflict.
I watched a documentary about a woman who teaches her clients to become masters of their homes by avoiding at all costs direct confrontation, pleasing the partner, allowing his/her energy to be focused on their jobs or careers hence passing on all other responsibilities to the other half. She supported her clients for months resolving and offering help with issues in realtime.

I think it panned out like this:
Listen and do not contradict

Support, agree and praise
Fulfil his/her needs
Learn his/her likes and surprise them with what they desire.

I understand if you have picked something and want to hurt me in some way but wait .. please let me finish.

The net result was that all argument would disappear from home.
He/she being confident of abidance and understanding would let go of his tools of control
Finance would become available for standing projects
The long drawn conflicts would be replaced by relaxation, peace and long naps
And once the partner gets used to not being responsible for anything they loose interest in picking up arguments and let the other decide on their behalf.
At the end of her teaching the pupil had become the Master, all were happy and all were occupied without stress with what they meant to achieve through conflict but without one.

React or plan your way through, your choice. Prevent or fight, your choice .. but did you get into a marriage so as you could break it up?

Put the right strategy in place and your enemy will be at your feet :-|D

 

Hi all ! Am new to this IL and just found this forum for singles (life-without-spouse). Does anyone have any inputs on how to deal with fear of dying alone and helpless ? Sorry to sound morbid, but that is a reality that faces those of us who have no spouse or children. I was divorced when I was 26 and have lived alone since. Am now 53, and the thought of dying alone and helpless haunts me. Being a reserved sort, I have few friends, but they live far away, in other cities. Trusting people is an issue with me, as I have made that mistake too many times and am a tiny bit wiser now :drowning tho still have to work on it.

Single women in India have a bigger problem than those outside. Society and stigma (and family pressure to get married again) all make it that much harder. By the time one gets to my age, all kinds of weird experiences have happened, men have been the reason for crawling into one's shell and wishing the world would surprisingly change into a loving, beautiful place but it doesnt, and a certain cynicism sets in. Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age, as someone said. Sometimes age just shows up by itself!

I have found that getting up and going on, putting on a happy face no matter what, is the only way to get through life. But it gets tiring sometimes ! One just wants to thump pillows and throw crockery at walls. Cant, just want to. Cos the cleaning up after is just too annoying.

The reason I joined IL is because I wanted a few true friends. Maybe ones in the same age group, and maybe in the same social situation as me. Glad I found this forum.

Tara