Posting for a Cousin of Mine

suba.sudhakar · Jul 4, 2010

Hello All ,

Although i registered in this forum long time back, i haven't posted any thread yet.I am posting this message for my cousin who lives in Chennai , TN.

She got married in 2002 ...Her in law;s and her husband everyone acted as if they were nice people.After the marriage things changed , they didn't allow my cousin to go to her own mother's house.She conceived immediately after the wedding , when she delivered the baby , they let her stay in her house for only 20 days....She is very soft spoken and always scared of the outcome regarding any matter....Time passed by....She is the first Child of the family , She has a younger sister who married some body which she liked (inter caste marriage) ...She got married in registered office and then informed everyone...At first everyone were against it and later they got both of them married properly in the temple.To that marriage my cousin was not allowed to go by her in law's and her husband....She kept quite...Mean while that guy was torturing her for not talking English properly and blamed her for each and everything...No one from our family would visit her home too...Beocz all my aunt and uncles who visited earlier got treated badly by her MIL and her husband...So everyone stopped going and she hardly used to meet anyone...

That guy was controlling her all the moves by not allowing her internet ,phone etc...Finally Just an yr before he gave her a cell phone to use which she used to contact all of her cousins which includes me without her inlaw's or husband knowledge .....Her sister got pregnant last yr and had a baby 3 months back....all of a sudden both her sister and her new born were in critical condition...they were almost on the death row...My Aunt didn't know what to do..So obviously she called her first daughter for help and emotional support...At that time my cousin's husband was in US...So she asked for a permission and then she went to help her little sister.By god's grace both mother and the baby got well in a month and then she went back to chennai to her inlaws'....So her MIL was taking care of her own child...After she went back they torched her for going and helping her sister and they were calling her with all bad names...

Finally she vent out and decided rather live alone than getting torched by these maniacs, day by day...She fought back for the first time...Immmediately her inlaw's and her husband threw her out of the house at 10 pm...her brother lives around so he went and picked her up..When the child cried for her mother they locked the door and filled for a divorce the very next day.

One way , She is happy that she came out of the house , but the other hand those dirty minded people have disconnected all the possible chance to communicate with her daughter.... Now she is fighting in the court for her daughter...but she has no evidence to prove that they are bad people....what will happen in this case?

My cousin graduated in BBA in 2000 from university of madras...She has not been exposed to any of the outside world other than her own home....She doesn't have very good communication skills which are needed by every job in the world...But she is a fast learner...I am here to ask on behalf of her...Is there anyone who can help her out in her career?...I would really appreciate if somebody can come forward to help her out...Thank you so much for listening.

SriVidya75 · Jul 4, 2010

Sorry to hear about your cousin , Subha. Best thing to do is contact a lawyer on this matter and fight hard. This is not the time to give up or be scared. Also how old is your cousins daughter? I dont think court will grant full custody of the kid to her husband unless they prove that your cousin cannot take care of her own kid. So tell your cousin to get a job and hire a good lawyer and file for divorce, asking for alimony and child custody. Lawyer is the best person to suggest how to take this case forward and atleast gain equal custody of the kid so that your cousin is able to be intouch with her daughter. good luck

flowerlady · Jul 4, 2010

Your cousin can take tutions and build up her confidence.
Another thing ,she may have changed over the years and grown into a different person from the one you knew . So dont get too agitated but give her support and guidance .
She should consult a good lawyer .

soumya234 · Jul 5, 2010

I would suggest her to take up some courses with Micro Small Medium Enterprises Institute in Chennai.I have read in magazines that many uneducated women enroll in some courses there and are successful in life.So your cousin too definitely can.

They conduct workshops/seminars and skill development programmes.Go through this website and you can contact them.

Welcome- MSME Development Institute Government of India - Ministry of MSME

kajalu · Feb 4, 2016

I know of a good lawyer who has got my cousin a divorce. This lawyer also has done a civil case for one of my family friends and he won the case for them. His name is S. Karthik Ganesh and his phone number is 9381043836. He has a office, but I am not sure where it is. You can contact him and talk to him over phone.

KashmirFlower · Feb 4, 2016

It is very heart touching to know about ur cousin, can she prove in court that she was sent out from her inlaws place in the absence of her H? Also she has to prove that they didn't allow kid to meet mother . How cruel people are, it brings tears.

what they want from a woman? Why can't they let her live her life normally? They don't find anyone in life to bully, and abuse and they find dil to do all these and add her H too in that gang.

as she done BBA, in chennai she can get good job opportunities, but as she is naive she can start from a receptionist or cell phone company office job or a teacher in private school. She has to come out and work some job so that she can face courts and outside world. Job gives her confidence.

1Sandhya · Feb 5, 2016

OP,

This is a very serious situation. With the father out of the country they have no right at all to restrict her access to her daughter. First and foremost your cousin needs to go to the police station with her brother and file a police complaint. By law this can be considered as a case of kidnapping and being held against her will. With the police she needs to go to their house and get her daughter back. This is the first thing she should do and she should do it immediately. Her first step should be to try to regain the custody of her child and she should not delay even one more day to do it. The law is on her side in this matter. She already has all the parental rights to go to the police and regain custody of her child today. Even if she is unable to get the child back, the date on the police complaint will prove she tried her best to do so.

All this hand wringing, inferiority complex about being uneducated, trying to reset the course of her life by looking for a job, running after the lawyers and starting divorce proceedings can wait. All that will come later. Running to lawyer, building a case, getting court date all takes time -- weeks if not months. During the divorce/court hearing they will point to the time the two have spent apart (plus one month of the stay with sister) as proof she has abandoned her daughter and to prove she is an unfit mother. She should not give them that chance.