Do You Think, What We are Doing WRONG?

Do You Think, What We are Doing WRONG?
Some times I have a feeling that i born in a wrong place in a wrong time. that here in kerala now!!!

We think we have lot of cultural history and we are the greatest cultured people all over the world and we have that much of proud on that. We keep in mind that the westerners are simply living there life with out any principles in life.
We think we are respecting females and keeping them in a high position and we clarify that by pointing out our historical stories and myths.
But still why many crimes against women and girls are happening in Kerala?
Many people must be thinking about this, but nobody wants to say that because of the present social set up in our country.
But the time is already over that we should understand that the compressed sexuality will cause more serious effects.
Every species living on the earth has got sexual feelings and the same way the humans also. That means every body needs to be satisfied, when they actually need it, according to the biological system.
But unfortunately that is not happening in our over cultured country. Here there is a belief had been created that sex is a prohibited subject. If anybody is been caught while in that act will be considered the dirtiest person in the world and then he will be in a state of shame and hated by the public and family and more over he will be facing all the charges as per our man made penal codes.
So thinking of all these troubles, every body tries to suppress their feelings inside there mind only, and passing there time.
But time doesn’t wait for anybody, and where is a solution.
In our system only accepted solution is marriage.
But that happens to be not a proper solution in the case of many people.
Because of many reasons, marriage is happening in very late ages but not supposed to be according to biological needs. And many of them are not getting a partner like what they where dreaming in there golden years. Because of our wild religion and cast systems nobody is able to select or love there dream girls if they attract to any body. This happened for both boys and girls. Then they have to suppress all there feelings with there hands in bathroom for so many years and wait for getting there partner. While these years there golden ages of youth is passing out.
Biologically a boy gets his first erection and sexual feelings at the age of around 12 to 15 years and girls around 11 to 16 years. And then there desires start and when they are turning around there teenage they really requires sex. And the ages 14 to 25 magical golden years are the ages that a boy or girl can enjoy there sexuality in its full means what they are meant to do.
But the actual happening of this we can not expect in even our wild dreams also, because of our nasty cultural height.
Result we loose all our youth cherished fruitful happiness that can be enjoyed according the biological needs which supposed to be.
Every body forced to divert their life according to the family needs. Reasons may be the marriages of sisters, brothers or financial issues or what ever it may be, but it finally destroys there youth.
Then what is the result.
Un-satisfied mind and body can create lot of mental issues and that can lead him to do unwanted activities, and some times it can make a man even a psycho.
This is the reality happening in many of the people living around us.
What is our society’s behavior against sexual matters?
What is the behavior in families against sexual activities?
In my view, I can say it is very serious and pathetic situation. Nobody knows exactly what the right things to do are. But every body behaves like sex is a prohibited matter to talk, to read, to view or to do.
Why this though has come in the mind of mass pubic? I said “mass public’ because, only the mass public‘s view is that, but the individuals views are suppressed in their minds only.
What is the reason behind that? What we follow the customs related to sex is correct or not?
Do we wasting our life by strictly holding the customs?
The answers are little complicated to explain and little complicated to understand and little complicated to digest also.
Is sex is a crime or sex is a sin?
What do you think?
We can think about a reality in the below mentioned way, just think about that...
Sex is the best entertainment method given by god to everybody. And he allowed everybody to use it when they feel to use and he created men and women, not one or two, but plenty. Everybody is free to do sex with anybody if the partner agrees, at any where at any age with out any restrictions. This is what we see in the nature, all the species other than human being.
Then what is the difference of human with other species?
The main difference is one thing.
“Jealousy” From the beginning of mankind, we didn’t want to see others enjoying, we didn’t want to see others are happy.
Everybody was greedy and so much possessive about their possessions.
So they destroyed the god’s concept of everybody’s enjoyment. Then they created new customs and rules and made so many restrictions for enjoying sex.
Many years gone and gone, the situations become very worst and now we are living in a world that we are forced to believe that the sex is the top most crime and top most sin, but reality is no where there.
And we forget this method that has been given by god for enjoyment and diverted our mind and body for new enjoyments that are harmful for our body. These are alcohol, smoking, drugs etc and destroying our life.
But if we choose sex for entertainment that is not harmful for body, instead it will encourage our body and mind and lead us to a happy and satisfied life till end.
Who is ready to understand this philosophy?
But while thinking about this, I can not forget about the other side.
Real crimes related to sex. What are those really?
Forcing somebody into sex, in any manner and doing sex with any body without their consent can be considered as a crime.
But if two are doing sex and both of them are enjoying it, then where is the crime.
Why others should worry about that?
Both of these actions are inter related, other wise we can say these are inversely proportional.
If the second is been accepted by the society, then the first will not happen, or else it will be reduced a lot.
But what happens in our society, the second is the most prohibited thing.
But the society forgets about the biological needs of human body.
That is the biggest mistake happened in the evolution of our mankind while we developed many stages and now become the greatest cultured animals in the universe.
May be this is the biggest mistake ever we have taken through out the history of mankind.
And in the present scenario of the world, we are the victims.
Without knowing or without thinking all these we all are wasting our lives that is the only chance god gave us on the earth before the end.
What is the solution?
If we think about a solution in the present scenario, it is really an effortful task.
But think about the situation is getting worsen day by day and we really need a solution.
The first thing we have to do is to make our mind free, why are our minds are been tied up for a long time, let it fly.
Don’t close all the doors against sex, instead keep a door open for that, let it come and fill with pleasure in everybody’s life.
If one person follow this, that is a mistake.
If a group follow this, that is a crime
If everybody follows, that becomes a custom.
So we need a change in our custom.
We are much proud about our customs and cultural values.
But what we gained?
Can we proud about our suicide rates? We are top in the world.
Can us proud about the rising crime rates.
Can we proud about the increasing number of rapes and murders against little girls?
What ever incidents happened, our society is more conscious about sex, and they are in hurry to tighten the boundaries.
And who are the real culprits doing all these?
They are in our society, and they are really poisoning the society with their inhuman views. We can see them in many shapes; they may be in the form of politicians, in the form of feminists, in the form of cultural leaders, in the form of writers, in the form of journalists and everywhere. They are in many forms, but they have only one aim. That is to eliminate sex from the society. But they don’t know what they are doing. They are leading the whole society in to a situation that they even can not think.
They think they are the security watchers of our morality. But they really don’t know what they are doing.
Made a psychological study through all the crimes happening in our state, and the results are really shocking.
The reason behind 95% of murders and suicides are related to sex.
May be nobody will agree, because nobody knows the real happenings behind that. But this is the real fact.
The real reason never comes out to public, that stays in the minds of those who affected or they are no more here to say that.
One fine day we get news in the paper that a man killed her wife and explains the reason is a family matter. But who knows that he found her wife with his brother’s bed last night. That truth will remain in their minds only, never reach to public.
This a simple example only, but there are more and more complicated issues happening in society related to sex and those always hidden in the minds of many individuals and because of our customs and society’s views, all are in a dilemma to keep all the secrets in side their minds and not possible to reveal anybody and finally things become more and more complicated and ends up in a tragedy.
Most of them don’t exactly know they are doing right or wrong.
Some of them think that they may be doing a sinful act and their mind always worries about their acts.
Most of them always fear that their secrets become out to somebody, and if that happens that can destroy the piece of the family and that can destroy their lives.
Many of them fear about the society.
Many of them fear the legal authorities.
How pathetic the situations is, for a little pleasure how much they have to suffer.
And if anything goes wrong, then it leads to a crime or tragedy.
If society is more positive in sexual matters and they understand that it is a biological need for every human being. These acts will not end up in the above mentioned ways.
Because they will not fear anything, everybody can understand that this is a need and this will not harm.
Some of us can survive in the tough restrictions by mind control and diverting our thoughts and activities in to unrelated fields, but some others can not do that, they may be mentally addicted. They can survive with real sexual activities only.
In those cases, what is the relief available here? Any government approves brothel homes are here? No. Any other means of sexual enjoyments are available here? No. He tries for getting a relief and finally found out somebody and very secretly doing their sex and enjoying. But even in that case also if it leaks out to public in any case, then our people have got a chance to crucify them. Then there life is gone.
But what is the problem with the public, if they are enjoying sex with mutual understanding.

i have only one short answer:: the reported cases are really high in kerala beacuse of the high literacy rates.compared to other states in india it is much less in kerala.take for eg :kadappa in andra and bihar and other states where violence in name of religion,caste and women are alarminghly high but no one dare to report it.

i should say i am lucky to be the born in kerala!!!

detailed answer to follow later.

Originally Posted by neets

i have only one short answer:: the reported cases are really high in kerala beacuse of the high literacy rates.compared to other states in india it is much less in kerala.take for eg :kadappa in andra and bihar and other states where violence in name of religion,caste and women are alarminghly high but no one dare to report it.

i should say i am lucky to be the born in kerala!!!

detailed answer to follow later.

Dear Meets,
Yes i agree with you when considering the case of violence in names of religion and caste.But still we need to change a lot.Why we need the religions, why we need this much of gods...
But i mentioned the specific cases of unsatisfied sexual life....see i am also a victim..
Waiting to see your detailed reply.

With love..

Many thanks

Lint

Very interesting topic that affects us all. We are all perfect hypocrites and this must have resulted with our innate desire to be in the acceptable books of Victorian english rulers and conform to their definition of so called "civilized" society. Ancient India was quite different as one will find from our mythology.... the epics and puranas. And also in our art forms all of which accepted life in all its totality.
Also one can watch "Sach ka Samna" if it is any indication/ indication of the times we live in.
Western society preached dichotomy and this is the result. In recent times even greats like Osho were maligned and ridiculed. A balance can be achieved only when we can think holistically without any bias.

And this is the need of the hour in all our dealings for a healthy peaceful society. We cannot compartmentalise life and living.

Hi psd,
Nice to read you..led me a lot of thinking..
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, those caused by our customs and society. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life!!
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
We need a reformation..
But who will be the reformer...otherwise we are wasting it for nothing.

Lini

Hi neets,
Waiting eagrly to see your detailed reply!!!

With love,

Lini

Lini your post is indeed a thought provoking one.
Of course lini i do think we have a great history,one of the oldest and greatest civilization of the world the HARAPA/INDUS VALLEY civilization ,where people were believed to have lived in well structured society way back in 200 BC and its cites were named as the 'bronze age Manhattan'.

Civilized according to what man has defined means living in a well structured place of shelter along with well defined rules of living.We too are biological species created by nature,but arents homo sapients much different than other species on earth.we have got somehing called the 'intelligence'.the intelligence which we harness enough to make our living less like an animal.the biological age of the women and man is as what you say.but isnt it the same age when we are to be more bothered about accquiring knowledge than rather induldge is sex.i do believe that having some sort of prohibitions in the name of rleigion ,which seems to have more effect to people,will in a direct way help the society to create better thinkers and educated people.
So in some ways i do believe that some restrictions are needed.what we see in the western world is not the civilized world,there are dangerous outcomes because of the society they live in.a balance of the both is what we need in our country.but arent we proving and still frightening the world wit ou power and capability,the intellgient doctors in US hosiptals,the scientents even in NASA and IT masterminds in microsoft and intel.doesnt that prove that the importance that our indian society gives to education in schools rather than freedom to excercise sexual pleasures at the teen age is much much better.


Aping the western culture has always been the nightmare thought to us all through the media or through the great writers of india.it is true,do you know that american educational institution is worst in the world,their life style is entire alien to our society back in india,when indian students is an enclopedia in all the subjects at age of 12 or 13,american students barely know 1% of the whats happening in the world.all that matters to them lose virginity at before 10th grade,becoming cheer leader of the schoolbaseball team,having the dream of their prom party,getting pregant at the age of 16 and then stopping their studies then end up workin in pizza corner and Mc D all life.is that what we expect our kids to be.teen age is the most senstive time period of the kids life ,when they are having all sorts of the biological changes and physcologically, the very age we should nurture him/her to make understand what life is all about.havent we got the responisibity towards make world a beter place to live,so having some kind of restrictions will give a proper channel to use man's brain properly.or wonder ending up been slaves to some kind of monetary giants like bilberdg group or someone.

i do agree with you about the idea of arranged marriage.men and women should be allowed to chose to their partners.high time that change.

and about the crime rate,eh yes as i said crimes rates in kerala is not the highest ,these crimes against women is the major problem all over the world.we live in a male dominated society be it america or india or arab world.atrocities against women will continue in all forms as long as man chose to show their suprmacy.Even if brothels are made legal,this is not going to stop.


Well to conclude no country in the world is perfect ,the powerful ones dominates the weaker.be it male dominates the womens.be it rich dominate the poor,be it goverment make the masses slave.there is no perfect plan of society and civilization.Refining and Refining is the key word ,keep refining we may end up in a beauitful world.


as far as what we can do is change our attitude and fight even in the possible ways and start to make world a better place to live.

Dear Neats,

angu chicagoyil irunnu itrayumokke ezhuthiyathinu nanni parayatte....
you are also true....... still some missing links..mmmmm..
But i am not satisfied.......i have to say much more...
i will write up soon when i am free..

many thanks,

Lini

Society is all the time evolving. Every attempt of man whether marriage system or marumakkathayam or live-in relationships and now I am hearing of something new called Polyamory (which i am told is quietly spreading in the Western hemisphere) are honest attempts at solving problems that create imbalance in our society and therefore to that extent justified.

Every effort of the human is towards reducing unhappiness and moving towards happiness solving problems to the best of one's abilities. So nothing is sacrosanct. What we perhaps need to keep in mind as the objective is the overall good any custom can provide and benefit the society. But perhaps it is in the very nature of things that nothing can be satisfying atleast in the long run. The very fact that so many social laws are passed is an attempt to change the customs and traditions slowly and systematically.

Pradeep