Hi, If you and your spouse had any really heated argument, fight or either one used abusive words or language then how does all this affect your bedroom life. Do you leave all that outside the door and have perfect sex life or not? How does all that affect you emotional and sexual feelings? In my case, I cannot have normal sex if I had a fight with dh. I got to settle it else I feel like I am pretending or worse so, he is using me! I cannot tolerate if he even touches me. But, I have observed that once we cool down and figure out and apologize to each other then emotions run really wild.:cheers
My dh is the type, where if we are not getting along or have had a serious arguement... he doesn't want intimacy. And to a certain extent, neither do I. But I mean, isn't that natural? It'd be like... who feels like going to a comedy club after a funeral? 'Just not in the mood'.
All the world is left behind the door when we enter the bedroom. We made a pact that not even cell phones are allowed to be used at night. If we had a fight we pretend that we really did not and if we feel like it, we may continue it in the next morning. So bedroom life is hardly affected by the events outside.
Ofcourse intimacy is surely affected in case of fights/arguments. You cannot pretend as if nothing happened and start making love. We need be in good mood, peace and emotionaly bonded. There had been countless number of situation where me and my DH though we sleep in the same bed we wont even touch each other and sleep in both the corners. Only if things are patched up that we become initimate and ofcourse grow emotionaly more stronger.
We generally used to make the best encounter after any heated argument & the apologies following. However since the worst episode of my life which was last yr.. a few months back.. things are not normal anymore.. either something is heavy on his head or mine.. and it gets clear in the body language.. nothing can be talked out anymore since the issues that lie with his mother can't be mend any further in his own terms. Something deep inside is broken.. so I guess its a matter of time & decision for me.
It does effect , but once we patch up , talk it out..then as said, things get wild then.. The love that come after a heatred argument...is much deeper then the arugument itself. Love, Kavitha.
I am surprised at Lenea's TV serial kinda arrangement.. "next part tomorrow morning.. stay tuned.." For me, sex is the climax of an emotional movie of course that climax maxes out at its own climax.. though.. Mind controls the tissues, if the mind is not cool, I dont like it.. it would be more mechanical ..
Nope..for us, everything should be right if we are going to be intimate. I dont even talk when I am angry lovemaking is outof question!
If we have an argument, I cant enjoy sex. but DH is eager to have sex as a Sorry-i-said-this gesture. then we patch up. But an argument or fight makes me hostile and not romantic. DH is romantic when he is at fault, if i am at fault he is all indifferent.
I don't think any sane person would go for sex, minutes after slashing each other's throat... until either one spouse converts the nasty fight to dirty sex....