Low sex drive?

Hi Ladies,


There is something I cant discuss with any of my friends and hence the post here. Pls give me your suggestions.


I have been married for 2.5 years, and DH lost his job 3 months post marriage. We were having some problems because of that, but not its slowly getting settled down. We moved to a different country, DH enrolled in higher studies and I got a good job, so life is going pretty well for now.


Our sex life was never good, cos of my 'vaginismus' problem. But now I am slowly getting better at it. We could never do 'it' for 2 years and only a couple of months back successful penetration happened. We started TTC immediately. But in these 2.5 years, I guess my fear or whatever reduced my DH's sex drive. He is absolutely not interested in it any more. Even in the beginning it was not that good. But he did have some drive. But now we only DTD during the time of the cycle for TTC. Otherwise he never initiates it and even if I initiate it, he is never in the mood. But I noticed he does not have any physical problem.


If I try to talk to him about it, he just brushes it off as he is not exactly the talking, sharing types (typical man, I guess). Now, what should I do? I need to be honest, even I dont have much drive these days because of the pain and I guess I will never understand the craze for sex, I mean whenever we do it, I get the feeling why in the world people want to do, it is so much of pain. This is exactly what I feel.


Otherwise, we are a very happy couple, we laugh a lot, hold hands, hug while sleeping, even foreplay is good. Is it time to visit a doctor? We already got counselling from a doc in India. She tested me and said no physical problem and it is only my fear of pain and suggested some lubricants. After coming here, I ordered a dilator set (which is supposed to help people suffering from vaginismus), and with lots of lube, we are able to do 'it' but still lot of pain. I am sure I am not imagining the pain, it is very real and I donno what could be the issue.

How could I improve our sex life? Or should I just let it be? My husband does not think it as a problem I guess. I am seriously confused what to do. Suggestions pls?

 

Thank you very much @Gauri03 for your reply. Sorry for replying late, as I got busy with something else.

I agree with you, I think my condition has caused him a lack of interest. I have already tried talking to him regarding the online forums and discussions about my condition, but he thinks I am just reading too much and assuming. He thinks its all in my head. Anyway, let me try to talk to him again. Thank you again for taking time to reply me.