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Lets share our feelings -- Season 4

Discussion in 'Infants' started by Aadhusmom, Feb 5, 2010.

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  1. arthidiva

    arthidiva Silver IL'ite

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    Raj / Latha - Happy for the changes you guys are making in your schedules and parenting styles.. WOW I should say for the patience you are possessing now :))

    Tikka - congrats on platinum! TREAT???!!! 'growed' is cute to hear.. DS is trying to talk English these days.. he says 'Amma, you coming?' 'No going' 'putting fan' 'beauciful' 'you rock!' . funny it sounds :)) your post on spanking is bookmarked and it makes me realise now and then how well DS can behave if he is parented well.. P has been behaving well when he is dealt with properly (no spanking + just enough explanation)

    Sindhu, so in-laws coming is a relief for you?? nice to hear that. oh oh wade of evil eyes pls! must be the choc milk didnt suit V.. it happens with P too sometimes when he tastes somthing like a choc milk the first time, he may throw up in a bit.

    Aarthi/ SS, ohh your rants on LO's eating habits is kind of consoling to me.. dont take me wrong.. I feel I am not alone. DS likes dhaal but not dhaal rice (eats it rarely) or it has to be side dish for curd rice (what a combo?? right).. he can eat rasam rice but with ghee, not otherwise.. he used to love carrots and beans but now he is bored of it. if he doesnt eat the normal breakfast (Idli/Dosa/Upma/pongal), we give him whole wheat bread or corn in homemade white sauce or oats porridge.

    DS too is particular about food - he cannot eat a little spicy food.. even sambar, he can eat like other children.. his little cousins can have spoons of sambar for every piece of idli or dosa.. but P will just touch a drop of sambar for the same piece of idli.. some people say I havent trained him to eat spicy food, but I cannot be taking crash courses for him on spicy food.. I can only let him try it.. if he doesnt like spicy food, I let him be.. in a few years he will start having it. girls, is there anything else you think I can try???? is it a big deal if he does not like spicy food at this age?? wont he like it sooner or later?

    my rants now - I thought there was nothing to rant about today.. but have to tell you girls, DS was left at in-laws house for 4 days at a stretch and heres how he talks now 'aiy enna panra?' 'aiy kudukaporiya illiya?' 'aiy naan solren illa? kelu'... OMG!!! is not the word.. this is not how he used to talk he can talk very very sweetly but this is not the guy I left there.. not that the elders there talk like this but when he talks in this manner, they all laugh it off.. not one word saying 'P, dont say that.' that itslef is enough for P to straighten himself but now this is the end product I have now.. I am sure I can put him back on track in 2 or 3 days but I hate it when everyone laughs it off when a child makes a mistake and then brand me saying I am being too liberal with him.. 'amma unaku romba chellam kudura.. adhan ippadi panran'..

    one more update - my senior management told me they cannot give WFH option as they dont want to 'start' a trend.. hmmm I told them I dont mind and I can come to office only if my mom feels better at the end of my 4 weeks off. if not, I will extend my leave.. ohh I am more worried abt my mom and they are worried about their billing.. lets see how things turn out for us.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2010
  2. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

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    Aww thanks for the Platinum wishes. But it is just a number, you know. Completely irrelevant. I am happy to be here amidst people who may not exactly believe in what I believe in as parents, as citizens of the world, but are capable of being tolerant about those differences. Moms, we rock :-D
    AD, that is my son and I am to blame. I have a tendency to use hey, and man! all the time and DS imitates me to perfection. When talking with DH, he will jump off on threads that leads into something totally different and I will have to remind him, "Hey, that is not what I started talking about. Listen a sec here." Only DS cannot pronounce H clearly and it ends up sounding like "aiy" said like a "Pettai rowdy"... :hide:
    Sindhu, for the first time I am not correcting him. I think it too cute too, but shsh dont tell him that. K has been going around making this cute face and repeating "K is too cute". We dont use cute at home , wonder where he picked it up from. But it has already gone to his head:crazy.
    Raj, Hugs. learning to let go has been difficult for me too. A friend is in her 4th month of pregnancy and she is absolutely not taking care of herself and is following some traditional medicines that her mom is prescribing. Her husband is wringing his hand in despair and common friends are asking me to talk some sense into her. I tried, she won't listen.
    The younger Tikka would have tried to hammer home the point because it is in her friend's best interest, but now I know better. Now I am trying to be there, keeping myself from offering help/advice she has not yet asked for. I am just providing information and stepping back. Arrgh, it is hard work. I am literally biting my tongue when she says something that is totally divergent from my belief system.
    Latha, that is totally awesome. Though I still cannot believe someone who is as soft spoken as you is capable of raising their voices. I think when you are course correcting, it takes children a little while to appreciate what is happening. They are expecting mom to do what she is doing. It will take a while for the pay-offs to happen and I think it is happening right now for you.
    Nitha/Aarthi: I was on EPO for close to one year but it only helped for a while. The doctors were considering putting me on anti-depressants before I got preggers. Mg supplement is relieving my physical symptoms of PMS/migraine/asthma, I still struggle with the emotional aspect of it. I am actually thinking I need the "happy pills" for the 14 days before periods if I want to keep this marriage free of fights the scale I saw last week ;-). I let a lot pass if I am not PMS-ing, but when I am DH better watch what he says ;-)
    Aarthi, k has always been a bit constipated this time of the year and it turns out DH was also like that when he was a child. K has been wanting some milk so I give him sips from my milk - wondering if his GI symptoms from milk allergy are acting up. He always stops up when we try reintroducing dairy. Last year, this time, it was because we tried cheese again. This time it is plain milk.
    Otherwise, we are really good on veggies, wholegrains, nuts, dry fruit, and soluble fibre. he does not eat as much fruit as we would like, preferring half of his intake in the form of juice. But I cannot see what is wrong with his diet other than the new food - milk.
    SS, I love adais too, especially with aviyal. DH has coconut intolerance/allergies :-( I end up ordering adai whenever I go to a south Indian restaurant. I also found something called the Thavalai Adai. Anyone heard of it, it tastes divine.
    SS, if you are looking for gentle discipline ideas books like Screamfree Parenting maybe helpful.
    Last night my neighbours from hell (they give us all kinds of trouble) were getting some sand and brick and other stuff for some construction work - right at midnight - and banged their lorry into the gate. I woke up with a start, then they were using their tippers to empty out the sand, banging really hard. I had to go out in the middle of the night and ask them why cant they do this in the morning, but no000! it had to be done at 12 midnight. Ds also woke up and slept poorly the entire night. I had to pat him down all night. This morning, I feel like a new mother again, totally sleep deprived and crabby.
    Dh has taken DS to work to let me catch up abit on my sleep. Whaddya know the neighbours from hell are back at it with more construction equipment and workers who are screaming at each other. I used to be able to sleep in the middle of all kind of din, today I am going to be really, really bad. I am already waiting for their lunch time :-(.
     
  3. aarthi7

    aarthi7 Senior IL'ite

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    latha,
    kudos to you for a sensible parenting and please do pass on some sticky dust here to dublin as well,,i really need it specially when we go out and ds is this changed person..i tell dh that vishal is sometimes an""'anniyan"",,he canbe like a good ambi and the next moment changes into anniyan:biglaugh,,for non tamil speaking girls,,,there was amovie in tamil about split personality that showed the hero in three completely different get ups,,,,ds is like this sweet heart who says-amma,i will be a good boy in the morning,,and when he gets up,i am like-is this the same boy i saw last night:hide:...
    raj,
    i also turned flexible in lot many things with ds,,like watching tv,extended bed times,etc..the only thing i am particular is having food at the dining table(again theres a selfish motto behind that,makes cleaning easier for me)
    tikka,
    "congrats on your status change..tell me about neighbours..at my parents place,i have seen the most atrocious and selfish neighbours /tenants...i couldnt even think that few people can be so relentless.:rantmy mom would eventually end up crying in a arguement,,think i have got this ""crying genes"" from her.

    tikka,have u tried lactose free milk for K,if he is allergic to lactose?or may be even rice milk/almond milk,,if he is curious to drink milk.
    count me in tikka..i can never stop myself from speaking(read advicing)more than what is needed,,,my younger bro often teases me saying--aarthi,nee rombha pesara dii(aarthi,u talk too much):bonk,,what to do?i just cant help it sometimes,,again one more area i am working out on,,these days i dont mind even speaking to the wall to satisfy this habit of talking,,,atleast i dont have to listen to ""stop it now"":rotfl

    sindhu,
    great that you will be having folks around..so do will your LO still be going to FT day care or be at home with gps..i agree with AD,ds has done this puking at night so many times when i try something new,,may be hereafter you can try new stuff during daytime,JMO.
    nitha,
    saw ur photos on VF,,yummy yummy..i am sure you must have had a hearty lunch ,,so,is chinnu fine with coconuts or do u cook seperately for her?

    weather is beautiful today..planning to take ds to the duck pond,,have lots of nuts and biscuits for the swans and ducks..i just love the way they come to us for getting the biscuits...too cute

    hi to everyone else..
     
  4. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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    Raj,

    i myself don't know how i managed that but it happened:) yes it must be that 'the tantrums aren't working the way it usually does on amma' that helped me:) but i must also give credit to my kids for calming down quick...

    you know what i also relaxed somewhere when i was preggy. i wasn't too rigid earlier too (because i myself am this kind of 'do what i please' kind of person) but DH often said relax the rules.... i think we also realise that the precious one-on-one with our first born will go away or it is simply nature's way of teaching us to manage 2 kids:)

    atleast with DS i find that he'll calm down when a certain 'rule' is relaxed. we learn so much, don't we?

    oh don't tell me... 2 weeks back i went to buy undies for DS. browsing, i realised i couldn't find DD's sizes anymore in baby section. and they have such cute thingies for new borns, infants. it took a lot of effort to turn my face away:(

    Sindhu,

    counting days for in-laws' arrival... way to go girl:thumbsup. i'll admit that i envy women who have a neat, cordial relationship with ILs. they must be so much looking forward to seeing the grand kids...

    AD,

    okay now i'll give a small tip to let it go:) see i don't say it's right on elders part not to 'correct' a child then n there. but as long as P isn't using really bad words don't feel bad. i think he must be trying to imitate he's addressed by his grand parents. next time you're told off about your parenting, try to give a curt comment with a smiling face. don't be hard on yourself.

    Tikka,

    it does take lots of conscious effort to change the way we know... even today i don't know if many things i did when DS was an infant was right or if it would have any impact on him. but as long as we try with earnest we should give ourselves a pat:) y'day i didn't focus on the place we were (a shop), the object he wanted but rather on DS. i think to an extent that helped me to hug him first thing. later in the evening he told his father how bad amma was not to let him buy anything... and his father told him how much he too loves to buy everything but that's not possible always. i suppose it was such a relief for DS to know it happens to older people too:)

    today we, i mean, me and kids woke up pretty late at 7.30! DH was up at 5 to study a bit. the past week or so DS is waking up late, which is quite unusual for him. even if he hits bed late he's normally up at 6/6.30! so it is true that they change close to 6:( i didn't ask DH about dropping off at school. that would normally trigger a nasty discussion on waking up times etc., but i was pleasantly surprised that he called work to postpone a meeting and took DS along:) i can see week-end is gonna be good...

    i'm not even asking after others:( hope you're all fine.. just busy and nothing else. do drop a line here when you get a wee bit time...
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2010
  5. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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  6. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

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    Latha, psyllium is Isabgol. The form that is available here needs to be consumed like a tablet - DS is not ready to do that. I dont think he really has an issue with fibre - we switched to wholegrains and this one eats his vegetables more than his cereals :-D.
    psst Aarthi, DS is allergic to cow's milk protein (usually allergies are to proteins, lactose is a sugar that is present in milk both human and cow). We do not get rice milk here, soy and almond milk he has allergies to. I have been trying to do Ragi/oats milk with disastrous results :hide:. It does feel bad for me to not be able to share my breakfast with him because of allergies. Waiting for the day he will outgrow them.
     
  7. aarthi7

    aarthi7 Senior IL'ite

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    girls
    my teacups are much better now,,looks like they will need a course of treatments(like a beauty parlour package):)..thanks again.

    tikka,
    i found this on net
    how to make rice milk at home..u can omit the almonds in the recipe and may be give it a try if you find it intresting..
     
  8. smart_soul

    smart_soul Bronze IL'ite

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    Nitha,
    What does you liquid diet consist of?

    Raj, I second you... I too think our styles and rigidity kind of loosens up with time. When V turned one, I was so proud that she ate by herself and wanted her to do that. Now as she is growing old, I WANT to feed her. How long am I going to get to do that.. She is already close to 2 and in another year or so, she will be doing stuff by herself..:-( Yes. I agree.. it was sometime 10 days back when I cried unconsolable looking at the pics taken at the hospital when she was born. So tiny... yawning cute.. lifting her hand... V didn't understand why mommy was crying.. I kept telling DH, I want that day back.. Well.. also the time is attributed to my PMS-sing time...

    AD, Regarding spicy food.. my DD calls dal rice 'kaayam'... and she eats just plain idli/dosa, if at all she eats.. even the slightest spice is out of my reign. Also DD just doen't want to try anything. Even if it is curd rice, feeding the first spoon is a herculean job..And after that if she feels it's ok, she has 2 more spoons and her dinner/lunch is done.... I'll stop my DD 'saapadu Puraanam'.. I'm tired of it..

    By thw way, AD, is your mom's surgery done? How's she now?

    Tikka,
    Congratulations on your Platinum status... Ya.. I start feeling low and down 10 days prior to my dates and my DH complains I'm grumpy.. LOL Thavala Adai is our Deepavali special in our houses.. Tirunelvi Brahmins have Tavalai Adai and Ukkarai as Deepavali must-haves...I love it..:)

    Latha,
    Absolutely fabulous way to calm down A.. Kudos.. Wish I get that sort of patience too...

    Today am working from home. Been on my toes till I dropped DD at day care. I gave her oats cheerios, Dosa.. Didn't want to eat a bit. I gave up on her breakfast... Am feeling very sad now, for everyday her B'fast is just air..
     
  9. smart_soul

    smart_soul Bronze IL'ite

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    Tikka,
    On the note about allergies, even after we stopped all the allergens DD's itching has not come down at all. The Day care provided complained yesterday that she just refuses to eat any food sent from home and starves the whole day. I was late from work yesterday and before I came DH gave her some cheese sticks and he said that there was such a happy glow on her face seeing the cheese... And I had some frozen Paratha for dinner and she took a couple of bites from my plate. Later at night I saw that her face kind of had rashed up a little and she was more itchy... So I am kinding of backing off on the re-introducing part. Again, this could be because we cave both allergens, milk and wheat yesterday... So am going to hold off for a few more days and try to introduce one at a time...

    DH claims, 'itching is better than starving'.. I agree with him on this.. I think completely eliminating the allergens are not helping DD... Why deprive her?

    Regarding constipation, did you try prunes? Also in India Vaazhai Thandu may be helpful... Also wanted to check with you, how long did it take after you stopped the allergens to show up positive results for K?
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2010
  10. aarthi7

    aarthi7 Senior IL'ite

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    hi ladies,

    today something similar to lathas episode y day happened,,me and ds were shopping for a birthday gift(i seldom go gift shopping with him,,but today i had to take him along),,and as usual ds picked up a toy for himself claiming its his birthday gift,,,i explained him that his b day is in dec and he will get a gift then,,but this boy was reluctant to get one:rant,,,ha ha ha,,the angel in me was still there,,i took ds in arms and again did a little bit of talking ,,,kissing,cuddling,,what not..and voila,,my sweetheart put the toy back on the shelf and walked out like a champ:cheers...
    latha,,for a momemt i was thinking about you..how proud and relieved you might have been y day...:thumbsup

    for sure,,,parenting is one of the toughest jobs on earth,,man,,phewwww


    AD,
    another"'no spice""boy here ds will be drinking glasses of water for a small spoon of sambar,,these days i dont add more than a spoon of chillipowder in our cooking,,,i guess some children prefer mildly spiced food,,so no worries.
    ds was also into picking words from others at that age,,we have to be extra careful when speaking in front of kids,,once ds said s***MAN:hide:,,,that was when me and dh became more vigilant and watchful over the words we use..

    one of my chitthipaati(my grandmoms sister)passed away today,,she was suffering from cancer...she was the one who helped me with my kooraipudavai(wedding saree)during my wedding,didnt take ds to the pond,,was rather feeling upset..

    bye girls
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2010
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