Let's Share Our Feelings - Part 2

Hi Krithika,

A few days ago, I read a post where you recommend the paed in Malar hospital. I hope i'm not mistaken... I can't seem to find that post. If thats right, could you give me the name of the doc pls? I've got a 3.5 month old baby girl. Im not too happy with her paed and am looking at other options.

Thanks,
Sylvia.

Vanathi, hope the issues with your hubby get resolved. Our weekend ended up on a sour note too - notthing huge but big enough to make me mad - and I don't know how to get my points across to him, so it doesn't look like I am complaining and whining ALL the time. I really don't know what to do, how much to expect and how much to let go. Drowning

Priya, welcome aboard. I hear you! Riya is just the same, and no matter how much you baby proof your home, they will find something that's not. I have no words of wisdom for you, just hang in there.

Kirthika, seems like you are having one of those days. Hope you get out of the blues soon. I have found that no matter how good a pity party feels, it doesn't help at all, I actually end up feeling worse than I was before.bonk

Raj

Originally Posted by Priya0425

I am still having nightmares. I have tried to child proof my home as much as possible but where will I keep the stove...and the mw.....

Priya

Hi Priya - Plenty of company for you - me for starters I just had a huge shouting match with my son while making his dinner tonight - first he tried to push all the buttons on the microwave, that didnt work (couldnt reach) then he tried shaking the stand I have it on, yelling, then I turn my back for 3 secs and find him standing on top of a dabba pulled down from a shelf and trying to climb onto the shelf, yelling again and finally I was putting his plate/cup in the sink and turn around to find him eating bits of biscuit from the wrapper that had been in the kitchen dust-bin (the said bin supposedly has a very tight-fitting child-proof lid - hah!). Now I'm praying that he escapes diarrhoea I could go on and on....

Originally Posted by tikka

Apparently, during a routine check up the nurse in the hospital snipped parts of the dried up umblical cord which has not yet fallen off.

What??? Is the whole set-up full of crazy people?
Cheer up! Tomorrow is another day......

Originally Posted by Riyasmommy

Vanathi, hope the issues with your hubby get resolved. I really don't know what to do, how much to expect and how much to let go. Drowning

Raj

Thanks Raj. We did a lot of talking last night and things seem much much better today but sometimes I think we just go round in circles - we talk, issue resolved - until the next time when all the old stuff is brought up again...my DH has a hard time letting past mistakes go and in 6 years of married life there are so many of those! Anyway we're working on it which is the best we can do What you said above - thats a tough question and as time goes on I just let many things go more out of a sense of weariness than anything else. Maybe thats a sign of increasing maturity - letting go of all the small stuff? I hope so.

V.

Originally Posted by royans

Hi Krithika,

A few days ago, I read a post where you recommend the paed in Malar hospital. I hope i'm not mistaken... I can't seem to find that post. If thats right, could you give me the name of the doc pls? I've got a 3.5 month old baby girl. Im not too happy with her paed and am looking at other options.

Thanks,
Sylvia.

Sylvia, I am not sure I recommended any doctor here other than my Ob and my Paed. They are people I trust completely, given my experience with them. Though I've heard wonderful things about Dr Benjamin of Malar, we did not interview him. My paed/neonatologist Dr Sharada Srinivas sits in the ACE, Kotturpuram. She is completely in sync with us (we don't medicate unnecessarily, we are totally not into supplementation, etc.) and vice-versa. I don't have a great experience with the hospital though (again my personal experience, may not be applicable for others). So I am also on the look out for a new paed once my LO turns 2 and will no longer need a neonatologist.
Hope your search ends soon.

Originally Posted by Riyasmommy

Kirthika, seems like you are having one of those days. Hope you get out of the blues soon. I have found that no matter how good a pity party feels, it doesn't help at all, I actually end up feeling worse than I was before.bonk

Raj

Oh, I was just thinking about some dark chocolate and some thorough cleaning up of the kitchen. Did some lawn work and found half of a dead bandicoot that was stinking up the house. Yikes. It feels like our house is some kind of zoo. Finished the laundry. Maybe I should feel depressed more often, the house will look a lot more presentable then

Originally Posted by Aadhusmom

the said bin supposedly has a very tight-fitting child-proof lid - hah!). Now I'm praying that he escapes diarrhoea I could go on and on....

Hah, the children they are talking about are the ones that are not curious, dont investigate every nook and cranny : i.e. none. The only thing I found really child proof in my house is the potty, K wants to have nothing to do with it.

my DH has a hard time letting past mistakes go and in 6 years of married life there are so many of those!

Oi, I know people who held grudges for three decades. Every single fault, brought out, dusted up and put under the scanner. I am talking about my mother. I keep wondering how exactly did she keep account of all the transgressions, neatly filed in her memory against every single person she knew. Learning to let go is a survival skill in a marriage; I need to learn it ASAP before K starts emulating me...

Latha, how did the session with the observer go? I am sorry I am so curious, but I have this stuck firmly in my head that we are not meeting all of K's emotional needs. I wish I can put my finger on it, K has these quiet times when it seems he is very sad. He does not seem his usual happy self.

Krithika,

Unfortunately we had to postpone today's observation. A complained of headache this morning too so DH took him to the ped. He seemed to have a viral infection but fought against it successfully with my homeo medicine's help. So today he stayed home, all refreshed (and me exhausted). I had called in the therapist last night to say we should find another day.

Vanathi,

Me and your DH seem to be the same type. I've improved a lot with DH's help. I find my mom digging up details from '73 and torturing my dad so i don't want to be a repeat story. It is just plain unpleasant. Week-end was sour here too. DH refused to go out to prepare for his exams (he gives them this saturday.. finally!), A was sick so was sticky on his dad, little A was also clingy and i was blamed for everything. I have learnt not to reply back in these kind of situations. This morning I told him my mind. And was surprised by myself that i didn't bring up in-law stories, past fights etc.,

I'm hoping A goes to school tomorrow. He'll be disappointed if he misses their cookie session and i have zillions to do.

Latha

Originally Posted by royans

could you give me the name of the doc pls?
Sylvia.

Sylvia,

I don't remember if i mentioned this doc! But we do consult him every year when we visit home. He was referred by my friend and i find him good. Giving his address:

Dr. B. Benjamin
Sishu Clinic, 7 (New No. 15) Sir C.V.Raman Road
Alwarpet, Chennai-18
Tel: 2466010.
Timings: 11.30-1, 4-6 (sunday closed)

Consulting time at Malar
9-11, 7-8
Tel: 24914023, 24403481

Latha

Weekend seems to have been tough for many people. While mine was not very eventful I feel for you on the digging things up. I hate it when DH does that. When he loses his cool (pretty often!), he just works himself up and I have a hard time dealing with that. I am learning now that that is his way of dealing with stress (not good on me) but it has to be ignored (better on me that way). I put an end to the conversation saying I don't want to talk when you are in this mood, but sometimes we are in the car in the middle of the road and it goes on...

Raj & Vanathi hope things are better for you guys today.

Priya, welcome on board! Not much you can do except let the little one watch, and watch them like a hawk!

Latha, hugs to you and hope Aniish gets well soon.
Raj, glad to hear that you were able to get out... I'm still waiting for my turn.
Vanathi, hugs to you - with regard to sign of maturity, I think we let go of the smaller or minor things rather as we don't have energy to pick all the battles anymore. We are already there in terms of couldn't care less for many issues as no time or energy - in a way it makes for a relatively peaceful home.
Krithika, hope you feel better soon.
Mangaii, hope the supplements will get you back to feeling good quickly.
We had a good thanksgiving - just with family but a lot of goodies that I could make as I had help to watch LO. LO seems to have some stranger anxiety now and is also regressing in sleep patterns - don't know if he's close to achieving some milestone now.

Looks like some bad mood depressing bug went through all our homes... mine wasn't a good weekend either. My parents are here to help me around but of course they are parents first and docs next so all the doc advice is out the window and they have just the opposite ideology to what we practice with LO. So I was super stressed, but thank goodness DH was trying to keep me calm and kept reminding me that end of the day I make the decisions and it doesn't matter what anyone says. But standing your ground and fighting for principles you follow for your LO isn't as easy especially if the opponents are your parents (to whom you are always a kid)... I hope I don't sound like that to my son in the future!

-L.

Hi Lavanya,

Good to see you after a long time. You sound cheerful too:) A has recovered and went to school today. Actually he was back on his feet from y'day afternoon... i shouldn't say this but at one point i thought i should have just ignored the doc and left him at school y'day. This morning too he started off with no shower, no brushing teeth, no this, no that.. but thank God we both were super calm and somehow avoided any great calamity!

What you say about the fight part is also true. These days i find i just don't have the energy to get into serious conversation, leave alone arguments. But I wonder if this will come back haunting when the children are gone and we retire! That is what atleast has happened with my mom. She has been a house-wife but as I got married, brother got busy with work and dad retired she always talks about only past... i tell her to let go (now when i got married and had all this in-law issues this was the same dialogue i got from her) but she just can't!

Vanathi, I do hope you are feeling better. Hey how are the blouses? I'm already thinking if i should send a sample through DH next month and get a couple ready for A's first birthday. I should browse chennai shopping forum tonight for tailors.

today is Ananya's first musikgarten class. I'm all excited.. there will be a mix of different age groups (i mean until 1 year). I want to observe how she reacts to the sound and other babies. Then A and me will bake together.. i haven't made up my mind yet on what but we will do something today.

Meeta,

I found another fruit cake recipe that uses no sugar and only honey. I'll PM you the recipe:)

Latha