Experience is the best teacher

Dear ladies…
Hope you all are doing great. My daughter Aarya is 5 month now.
I am opening this thread to welcome experience of new moms. Through this thread I also want to share my wonderful journey of motherhood till now. I have to admit that being mother had made me entirely different person. I can’t believe how much I have learned in this period. No doubt, I did lots of mistake being first time mom and sometime I wish if would have some guide who would have help me through this journey it might have different journey.
So, in this thread one by one I want to share my experience and welcome others. And if it can help at least little bit to other mom, I will be so glad.

Good Luck
Meeta

EXPERIENCE # 1 – Introduce a bottle between 5 and 8 weeks

This is one of the most commom fact no one told me about. I was breastfeeding Aarya exclusively. And than my mom and dad left for India when Aarya was 2.5 month old. After that once I had to go out, so I pumped the milk and gave it to DH to feed Aarya when she gets up and went out. And when I reached home after hour and half, I saw Aarya really cranky and we realized that I already missed the window of offering the bottle. She was totally refusing it. And finaly last week after 3 month of struggle I had to go cold turkey and introduced her a bottle. Till last week, I never went out by myself. I am not saying it is horrible but come on you need a break once in a while people.

MORAL – If you ever want to feed you baby with bottle, no matter what it is BM/Water/formula, you should introduce bottle between 5 to 8 week of age.

Dear Meeta,

Nice thread.

Though I'm not a new mom(have a 6 yr. old kid), I'm so eager to read all the posts. There is something to learn from everything.

Meeta, wonderful thread. Can't wait to read what others say.

Oviya, although you are not a new mommy, we would still love to hear what your experiences are so we can learn from that.

The lessons I have learned since being a mom -
- You forget labor and delivery pains when you see your baby's face for the first time.
- When the books say a newborn eats every 3-4 hours, don't believe it! Some newborns eat every hour.
- Stick to breastfeeding atleast for six weeks, before giving up. It does get better.
- Cloth diapering is not as hard as it sounds.
- Listen to your mom.

These are some that I could remember right off the bat... will post more as they come to me.

Nice thread Meeta, even thou we learn lot out of personal exp we cud also learn more from this thread.. Like u said introducing bottle around 5 to 8 weeks, but ofcourse it varies from baby to baby.

1. Like Raj said, our baby will not react same as in books or like other babies. So no comparison...
2. Another thing i learned is.. When baby cries, look for whether the baby is hungry that usually strike us immediately, but the thing that never strike us is DIAPER CHANGE. Even now sometimes if my son cries, it immediately doesnt strike me to check Diaper
3. Never feed baby as per timings, feed based on his/ her need..
4. Bathe baby when he/she is feeling sleepy and not when hungry to avoid excessive crying..
5. To spend most of our time with baby while he is awake, esp my son keeps playing when we r beside him and while we r away he cries or do make some noise asking for attention!!!!!!!
I remember only these as of now, will post some more later

San

These are some of the things I learned being a first time mommy and I'am continuing to learn everyday

1.)Trust your instincts,Being a mom u always know whats best for ur baby.
2.)Do not introduce bottle before breastfeeding is well established,i learnt it the hard way .My baby had jaundice and had to give him formula till my milk came in,I still cannot get him to nurse and pumping is no fun

You will not beleive how much your love and respect increases for ur mom till u have ur own little one.

Here is my 2 cents for the first 6 weeks
1) Your hospital stay is the honeymoon, coming home is the real deal.
2) Introduce the bottle or formula early for convenience in the long run. If breastfeeding learn how to use a pump at the hospital.
3) Babies will cry. If you listen carefully the sound of their cries will give you clues as to what is wrong.. for example "inga" - milk, "eeeio" - gas/burp, "aaie" - hot uncomfortable/need diaper change
4) Be confident in your abilities as a mother.
5) Let someone else take care of you the first 4 weeks. You focus on learning to be with your baby.
6) Sleep when the baby sleeps. Do not attempt to sleep train the first 8 weeks. If your baby sleeps then you are lucky if not your baby is normal.
7) Talk and sing to your baby.
Take a walk with your baby or if you have someone to help out, take a break and take a walk alone.
9) Do not weigh yourself the day you come home from the hospital .. you will be disappointed. Wait two weeks for the first weigh in.
10) Ask all friends and relatives who want to see the baby to meet you at the hospital or if they plan to come home ask them to all come at the same time. It will be easy on all of you.
11) Babies love bath in which they are actually placed in an inch or two of warm water.
12) To calm a crying baby follow the Happiest Baby in the block 5 S : Swaddle, turn baby on the side, shake or rock gently, all baby to suck and say shhh in babies ear.
13) Allow your husband to help with the baby. Let other people be part of the baby's life.
14) Keep lot of magazines and books around and read during those late night feedings. You will feel less stressed and will not see how time passes when baby tries to fall asleep. Babies allow you to read at this age. This may not be the case when they are 4 month plus.

Things I learnt;
- No matter how many books you have read or how many babies you have seen your baby will still manage to surprise you!
- Like San said - check the diaper - it took me 4-5 weeks to get that into my head.
- Breastfeeding is painful - you would think a doc would know that - but no, they dont tell you one word abt how painful it is in medical school. I learnt that the hard way.
- Babies are quicker than you think - it took my son rolling off the bed once to make me realize that!
- Be very confident in your abilities as a mother. Dont allow other people to put you down or make you feel guilty.
- Dont underestimate postnatal "blues" and how easily you can cry at that time. During my training I always used to wonder why these mothers cried for every single thing - now I know.

Nice thread Meeta. Made me think...

Vanathi.

Yes.. everyone underestimates post natal blues. It is hard on a mother who is physically weak after labor and who has to look after a baby 24/7 with no sleep. Breastfeeding is painful.. engorgement can even cause fevers. I had a low grade fever every day for a week when my milk started to come in and it drained every bit of energy from me. Also one of my stiches tore after c- sectio and that was scary.
Aadhu's mom : As a Dr what would normally advice mom who had gone thro Baby blues ? Are there vitamins or diet we can take to get our hormones back in track. Around the same lines is it the same treatment for PMS mood swings as well.. I am a victim of that every time and honestly tired of it. My DH gets the brunt of it and it is not fair on him. Exercise has always helped but with the baby and DH travelling I am pretty much tied to the house after I come back from work. Does B complex work ?

Dallascw - B complex couldnt harm you so maybe you should give it a try? Evening primrose is supposed to help PMS symptoms - I dont know if its available without a prescription in the US. If the blues become severe enough to be labelled PPD then anti-depressents would be the only effective treatment available right now.

Vanathi.