Hello all ladies, In singapore for almost 5 years in EP/DP.My LO is 2 years old,till 2 months before managed by bringing my mom and MIL..then due to visa issue here,brought in one maid where my mom also with me so that she can train the maid when im off to work.. Before hiring itself i put forward that taking care of my baby is first priority and you should not use phone while she is awake.But she uses phone without knowing to me and today i caught her too..before even i asked her..she tells "i don wanna lie u...i use it while i come to pickup baby"...i simply told pls dont use phone when she is awake. Im monitoring thru IP camera now and then..she takes my baby out for feeding lunch...she also takes mobile with her...my concern is till date whether she feeded my baby properly or not...or jus leave her like tat n chat thru phone..im not at al able to confidently sit in office ...feel like always monitoring/followup her is a big head ache. when i spoke to my frens here who have also hired maid...they also face the same problem...no peace of mind. ahyone has faced same issue and found any good solution or how did u tackled this situation?...kindly enlighten...thanks Rev
Dear Op, I too have Live In nanny at home who took care my boy from 7 months old. Dont worry too much but make sure your baby is safe. Treat the maid with love, keep telling how much you love your son and you want her to be careful with your baby. Buy good stuff or give your own stuff so that maid has good affection. Make a bond with your maid, talk to her abt her family etc. This way she develops affection on you and your baby. I would say more than the feeding keeping the baby safe and happy until you go is important. Once you are home, you can feed the baby enough. One of my friend had her mom stay with her. But even the own grandmom wouldnt be able to feed the baby and my friend used to feed during evenings. her kid used to eat less during day. so First accept the fact that, a maid or even your mother or MIl cannot feed the baby as you do. So as a working mom you have to accept that fact that maid cannot replace you. so to compensate that you have to give your 1000% once you are home. I too used to worry a lot abt my first kid food when i was working. then i stayed home for 5 months, and realized sometimes my kid doesnt eat with my hands too. so i realized babys are not machines, let them eat how much ever they want. Things i do - I call my nanny during the feeding times. Tell her dont worry if baby doesnt take whole food. coz if we keep the stress to the nannies to feed baby well, they might force on baby and baby might cry and even the care giver gets angry on baby for not eating. I myself get very angry when my kid doesnt finish food but i dont want to feed by force. so only let her feed how much ever the baby drinks. - Tell the nanny to call during night times and weekends. Literally make them call when you are home. so since they called already wont have interest to call again their family friends when you are not home. I told my nanny that i can track the phone calls online, so the day she makes more than few calls , i immediately call and say -- please dont call, seems like you called more times today. So she knows we are tracking her phone, so she is very careful. I also told her that it will charge us money for more phone minutes so my husband might get upset and cut the money from her pay. - Does your baby has specific timings of sleeping, if so you can tell her opely, baby sleeps from 1- 3 pm so you call during that time, and say you checked online. so she will call only when baby sleeps and you wont have the fear. Relax and be happy you have a maid. treat her like your family she will treat your baby like hers.
One of my daughter's friends had taken an Indian Made with them to Indonesia. They realized she had left small children at home and was worried about them . She had gone to earn money to make their life better. So they treated like an aunt who was doing them a favor by looking after their family while neglecting her own, She was allowed phones and other amenities and she never abused it. She stayed with them more than 10 years, and brought up their kids like her own.
Ur words are really very positive. Whatever i have in my mind is reflected in ur words.I do the same except for few things u mentioned here. Due to this issue,me n husband spoke to her the same day n explained her to understand what is really important for her role in our home.If u satisfy our requirement,we ll do it in return for u.After that everything seems Ok.. She tells Phone n al is not at tat important than doing any job perfectly and also promises on the same.But she gave 100% assurance on taking care of our baby.Still im not abl;e to completely believe her on this phone issue.I suspect she tries to hide n spk..
Hi First we need to realize that the maid is a human being as well who also needs some social contacts.... if we took care of our babies wouldn't we sometimes use the phone while taking care of them? The most important thing while having a maid is developing trust towards her and trying to put ourselves in her shoes and not seeing her as someone taking advantage of us... Then peace of mind will automatically follow.... How would we feel if our employer followed us everywhere with a cctv camera at work? From a security stand point it's good to have one but don't get obsessed with it....as someone suggested get to know your maid better and have some empathy towards her.... Things will fall in place.... Remember she is not a robot
