Whats your suggestion regarding this belief?

Hi Friends,


I had been to Tamilnadu very recently Met my old friends.All friends are in the stage of getting married and parents are busy hunting grooms...

While conversing I heard some friends saying that some good proposal had come and it was stopped saying that elder childrens (thalai pillai) should not get married because some oldies from village said this...Nowadays mostly there are 1 - 2 kids in every family. If both the bride and groom's family have one kid then what will they do????

I asked the reason many said different reasons some say that some bad time may come and blah blah blah...
I wanted any acceptable and intellectual reason I didnt get..
So put up this topic.

What are your suggestions,experiences and views regarding this beleif..

Really, I did not get you! Sorry!

This is what I understood. Both bride and groom are the only child to their parents? Will anything bad happen to the parents if they get married? Hope that is the doubt.

Ok as far as I have seen and heard nothing wrong will happen. My friend and her hubby are the only children to their Parents and it is 10 years and everything is fine with the parents. Actually, my friends MIL cried saying if that only son/child gets married he may leave them and go and then there is no one to care for them. But my friend reassured them that nothing like that will happen and anyway he has to get married sometime to somebody so why not now to her? :)
Very smart proposal!!! Everything is going good with them....
Also, my cousin who got recently married , this year, is the only child and his spouse also happens to be the only child and all is well with the parents so far....

Don't believe. These are just made-up ones probably by someone who wants to get their child married but someone else who has only child got a better groom/bride these people have been trying/aiming for.


Adara

Hi Prettina,
Even i have come across is this situation. I am the eldest daughter and he was the elder son in his family. So when the proposal came my parents and grandparents was keen about this matter. And because of this only reason they planned not to accept this proposal even though we had all horoscope match and everything. But luckily my MIL when she asked the reason she explained that as eldest they had a daughter and after 10 months of delivery the baby had some fever and passed away and second was my DH..
When i asked the reason my parents and grandparents scolded me telling" we know everything" u going to get married so keep quiet and be a good girl.... and i think even they dont know the reason...

Thanks adara for your quick response...

No you misunderstood the question..

My question is Bride is the eldest daughter in their family and groom is also the eldest son in their family.In this case oldies say that they both should not get married.Eldest and eldest should not marry.Why is it so?

Hope my question is clear..

Hi sharanya,

thanks for your response.....

Good to know that a elder child was there in your DH's family otherwise you would have missed him...hehehhehehehe

Prettina,

Even I heard that,I beleive basically elder kids have some characterstics and elders used to belevie that ,if both elders kids may not adjust each other in the marriage things like that.Some adjustment issues.
But in your friends situation,people tell different reasons ,if they want to escape from the marraige.If they really liked the other person then they make lot of adjustments,if not then can give 100 reasons to escape from it.

That is a bizarre thought.

Anybody can make up a saying or superstition. It doesn't take any mandate from God for me to say 'A cow should not cross the road wearing a purple hat on Wednesday.' Now if I get ten people to say that long with me, does it make it true?

It's like the chain letters you get through email that say... 'send this message to ten people in ten days, or your wishes won't come true.' Just because something is spoken/written doesn't mean we should automatically believe it.

I agree with asuitablegirl on this.

Just because a bunch of people say that doesn't make it true.
I ignore the mails which say if you do not forward it then something bad will happen. Don't do things you do not believe in....is my policy.


Adara

many things are in practise because it had been handed down without giving any reason. Some were relevant in those days, meaning may be more than 70-80 years ago when the whole society and world was different. That does not have meaning in today's world. Still people are not brave, always have doubts, so they stick on to the old believes.
One thing - if a woman goes even near a tulasi plant when when is having her monthly cycle, the plant will wither. Botanists say that tulasi plant will wither after a certain period, it will not be there for long years. I am watering my plants, tulasi included, everyday, even during that time and mine has not withered due to that.
Also this- pickles and other annually stored pulses will get infected with insects for the same reason as above. But I am in the habit of storing tur dal, tamarind etc. for a year, and I only handle these daily. They have never been infected all these 22 years.
Many things were told by elders for simple reasons such neatness etc. To make people follow these without fail, fear had been instigated. That is what I feel.

Hi Prettina,
I also heard about it.

If you think logically in olden days there were upto 5 kids in a family and the families will not be financially stable too. The elder kid always has more responsibility especially when it comes to taking care of parents. Hence if both were the first kid, there will be more problems during tougher times. May be thats the reason.

I think we dont need to follow it these days for obvious reasons.

Hope I have answered your question.