A Womens Day Story!

Dear Varloo,
You have pointed out some disturbing facts in your mail. Yes it is true that women, (I mean a majority of them) do not have choices in matters of dress. For a while the husband controls. And once you have children who are going to college they have a say in their mother's dress.
But Varloo, I have known many women who have sacrificed all these small freedoms and have got something really big. I know a woman who always wears a sari, cooks at home, takes care of her husband (she even presses his legs in the night) dotes on him etc.. Superficially she would appear like a slave. But having given up all these small freedoms, she has got her say in all the major decisions - like children's education, marriage, buying a house, car etc.
There is a difference between a man's freedom and a woman's. A man would first like to assert his freedom. He would shout, standing on the rooftops, 'I am the boss and my wife obeys me.' But the wife standing below the roof with a mischievous smile in her lips, will think 'you are the apparent boss but I am the real one.' And without confronting the authority a woman subtly has her way.
But after seeing a majority of women I will have to accept what you say is true. Lets work towards the freedom of women. This IL forum is the first significant step in that direction.
regards,
sridhar

I fully agree with the view that women have their own way……Yeah…..In between husband and wife…….why should we talk abt freedom……..after all one go with the others views for their happiness………..to whom are we trying to prove a point………ultimately all these discussions will lead to only one point……..and that’s satisfaction of one’s ego…….. It so happens that when 2 persons interest conflict only one of them can satisfy their ego and that is when the other person loses…It may not just happen to a woman…..it may happen to a man in his office……..he loses his freedom with his boss….It may happen to a student with a teacher…….a child with his mother…….correct me if I am going in the wrong direction………

Thanks Varalotti for the witty parable. I appreciate your gesture towards us women on the Woman's Day:) Even more than the story, pardon me for saying so, I enjoyed the discussion thread you started off. I enjoyed reading everyone's comments and observations.
I am glad to say that most women are enjoying a relatvie freedom and independance to say and do what they want than some years ago. Let's face it, it IS still a man's world. But if we wish this sense of freedom in women to take place, it is we, as women, who will have to work harder for it by teaching our sons to respect the women in family and general and treat them equal and same as their daughters. This will make them chivalrous husbands and fathers.
But on the other hand, it is a nice time to be a woman today! Doors are opened for her, education has set no restrictions, she enjoys wearing both trouser-suits and saris and is able to pamper herself like never before. Just check out the number of beauty parlors that have opened up in every town of India!!
Okay, if you scratch the surface, the age old insecurities might be more than obvious I guess, about which, all of us have to really work hard to erase. I do know it has also to reach the rural population of India and the orthodox of our country. But even in the West, inspite of all the outward freedom the woman here enjoys, the emancipation in the real sense has yet to set in! All the plastic surgeries and Victoria Secret apparell is a pointer towards what the woman here puts herself through to be attractive and desirable! This in turn gets aped in India! A whole vicious circle.
But all said and done, I think I can see a light at the far end of the tunnel, dim but surely there. Proof: we do have a Woman's Day. Anyone heard of a Men's Day???;)

Dear Varalotti,
I missed out some facts. The restriction was from my mother, saying that a woman should not wear dresses other than sarees and half sarees. And the amount of hostility I faced in learning to cycle etc. are only known to me. All these because I was a girl. Thats why I like to wear only salwar kameez. The difference was from the time of birth. My in laws were more modern in this aspect. And even after working for 10 years and contributing to the family, it is not recognised. And there is no financial security for even working women, they cannot even think of having a separate account and saving money. And when it comes to 'your people' and 'my people', the woman has no say in giving gifts or financial aid to her people while the husband will not even inform the wife about what he did. These are also major problems. The case you said, like one being the real boss, is also very less in percentage. But I feel that if Indian men are afraid that their women will leave them if our country becomes like the West. That's why they try to keep us suppressed.
Even now, women of Kashmir are fighting the law, a Kashmiri woman who marries a non-Kashmiri man is not entitled to own property there. She then becomes a non-Kashmiri. But if a man marries from outside, he doesn't lose the status.
Equality is only there for name sake.
varloo

The Story had an amazing twist. Gave us goose pimples. Thank you varalotti , for once again kindering the greatness of women. Hats off to you!


Regards,
Purnima
(ps- we are eagerly waiting for March 11th)