Classic English

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great "Sir's Spoken English"

# At the ground:
-----------------
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
---------------------
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
-----------------------
You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)
# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict abt this )
-----------------------

Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt ,U shirt,V shirt.. but if you want to wear .... remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the campus..

# Sir at his best:
---------------
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"


# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
----------------------------------------------
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....

Last but not the least some Sir's experiences ...

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At college day 2002:

"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, sir the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"

At college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "

okenjoy this English, but dont forget your English !!

Sunitha, really enjoyed it...

hi sunitha,
hilarious ones...though some are oft repeated, they are classic examples of 'Indlish'....
english,as a language is to be pitied....poor thing, beaten and bruised...

cheers,
sowpar

Hilarious..couldnt stop laughing..