How can we get rid of the dowery system.

Dowry cannot be got rid by education. I find the more people are educated, the more dowry they command. No act or law can put an end to it. In some communities it is a matter of pride to pay or receive a large dowry. Getting rid of dowry depends on the mind set of an individual and his family.

 

Dear kdrml,

empowering the girl child from a very young age is the only way that i see to ending the dowry demon and the immeasurable strain it puts on the parents. A confident educated woman empowered from childhood will definitely give more attention to getting a job and standing on her own two feet financially before thinking of getting married. And if she decides to get married at this stage, her earning potential and the weight it carries might prove deterrant for dowry demands. And who knows if the woman's erudite enough might not want to get married at all and lead a happy contented single life and if she feels like it adopt less fortunate ones to make a difference in their life?? (here i am taking a page from the lives of numerous western women who have done exactly that).

 

love marriage is the only answer...love love and onle love.....

 

Hi dear friends & the author of this topics Kdrml,

Thanks for the various tips and concern for this social menance of " DOWRY " & its implications in the society.

First and foremost is the awareness from every citizen not to accept or give dowry .
Can any one buy Love & Affections by Money alone ???:exactly:

Then why this mad rush to accept / negotiate dowry & there by so many deaths....

Marriage is not a commodity of selling women to a man by dowry aspects alone...

It's their life and every parent should be shame of accepting dowry.

Subbu

 

Mithili,

I agree with you. Love marriage is the one of the solution to this.

I feel the future generation are more broad minded and i feel the topic of dowry will become a history.

I pray that it should happen that way.

 

Hi Ilites,

The dowry system can never go away completely from our socity as long as GREED plays a BIG roll in our lives.

Someone in this group has mentioned about love marriages. I disagree strongly as I am the evidence of the example who suffered badly becuse of my father in law's illtreatement mainly and only for enormous dowry. My husband and I both r well educated, belong to the same caste/sect/subsect/geographyl/language/religion and we are mateched in every way including the so called status. But when the parents met, my father in law brought out a very big list of demands by way of gold, silver,grand wedding in a hall of his choice and various other high priced nonsense which made my parents upset in a big way and my mom advised me strongly to forget marrying a guy from such a family. But then , things went differently in our lives and finally we married and we both are until today with the grace of GOD, very loving, happy and peaceful.
So love marriage doesn't change anything in dowry system.

MEN are the only ones who can change the system by openly and strongly saying NO to dowry of any kind. In love marriage, even after so much of love, it is the parents who decide the rest of the issue and the man enjoys himself by not interfereing in anything. Again, all this is is due to GREED and nothingelse.

Geeth Priya.

 

I am a victim of the dowry system.My father had 5 girls no boys.Though we were all preety educated we had to go thro this.This generation has to fight it .Should no go thro marriage with a person who demands.By the way the parents who have a lot of money why dont you eradicate this.

 

HI Geetha Priya,

I was the one who told that Luv marriage can eradicate dowry system. Bcos atleast in luv marriage the bride and the groom are close, they know each other and also the background very well and the bride can share her problems with the main person ie the groom. But if your hubby turned out to be a quite guy tell me what can i do. Even i faced the same thing as you said but my dad couldnt do it and he accepted openly and i too felt bad as it was luv marriage and my parents shouldnt spend even a single penny. But my MIL gave me lectures on kanya dhan and father making her daughter sit on her lap, get her married give in his hand.........and finally i had to take the jewwellery which my dad gave like he gave for my elder sister. Me and my hubby couldnt do anything more than this bcos we already married against parents wishes atleast let them do the marriage reception the way they want. By grace of god everything is fine now and we are happily married and have a daughter. The inlaws though they agree to the marriage as per their son's choice, they show their frustration by demanding. They have to keep up the pride and prestige as boy's parents and they cannot show their plight in front of relatives and friends. This is why it still continues even though luv marriage is quite common nowadays.

But these are the lessons that we learn and atleast in future both the girl and the boy in luv should agree before marriage about all this dowry stuff/demands.... You said Men can only change things, it is both men and women who can change, bcos in some house ladies are more dominating. Men are quite.Even the groom cannot do anything in front of his mom or dad sometimes. As a humanbeing, we all should say No to dowry system and to stand up against it when time comes.

Bala

 

Dear friends,

its very simple.

dont ask - stop asking
dont give- stop giving

when you are getting your son or daughter marrried.

you may ask what about our own we cant do anythg with which already had happened.

PS- mine is without dowry.

regards
vidyasundar