To all who miscarried at some point!!

Hi girls,

I was wondering how do you react when you hear about people getting pregnant..esplly on ur inlaws side. I do wish them all the luck cuz I know the pain of losing the baby but I also get sad thinking why did it happen to me and all?

How do you keep yourself positive? How long did you wait before trying again and how long did it take to happen?

Thanks...

It's never easy to hear of someone's, anyone's pregnancy when you are suffering through a loss. You just don't think about it for some time. Then, you realize that it can happen to you too, and if the situation were reversed, you'd still like it if they can find it in them to be a little happy for you. Then, be happy for them. Eventually, you'll even be interested in their pregnancies genuinely, gathering information for when it is your time.

Out of the many people I know who've had m/c's, subsequent pregnancies took anywhere from 2 intervening cycles to almost a year, depending on when they decided to begin again. Some decided to wait for 6 months before even trying again because of various personal reasons, using the time to travel, etc. Of these women, some decided to just wing it - not plan for it. I know any delay seems like a long time. As there is no getting around your cycle lengths, just enjoy the baby making process.

Vaidehi,

Ask me about it... I was a crazy lunatic for sometime after my 2 miscarriages.. I used to sit in front of the God's idol for hours and cry... Each time i go out my eye only see pregnant women (Not that there were a lot of them..) And after my second m/c doctor took lots of tests and she said she thought i had some Genetic Mutation and asked me to go on medication for it. At the same time i heard my sister in law was pregnant... Her first kid was only 2 years old.. I went even more crazy... And what made it worse was that they found they are having twins... After that i went into almost a depressing state.. Though i was genuinely happy for them.. it was hard for me to talk to her because of the anger i had towards myself or towards God...

But trust God and see for yourself... He can work Wonders.. I am telling this out of my own experience.. It is very hard to heel the mind out of this emotion... But we need to force ourselves to not think about it..

Take Care and Pray to god.. Soon you'll experience everything for yourself.

Thank you all for your inputs. I feel just the same. I want to be happy for them and deep within I am. When you know your younger and elder sister in law are pregnant (My huband's brothers wives)you end up feeling like this and questioning god again and again. And to top that I never got any emotional support from either of them.

I feel better after reading your comments cuz I was feeling guilty as to why I am feeling this way.

Honey, very honestly, it is difficult for anyone who hasn't experienced a certain sorrow to provide emotional support for it. You'll be happier if you don't expect it from them. You have to find it elsewhere. Sometimes however, surprisingly, it helps to talk to a friend who has never even been through it. Not that she can provide emotional support but if she'll listen to you talking yourself through it, and makes sure you aren't alone, it can really help. I found talking to the unlikeliest person I could think of at the time, very helpful. Someone I had known less than a year by then. Best wishes for your recovery.

PS: It is very common to even feel resentful towards pregnant women. Don't worry too much about how you are feeling. Feel as you need to to recover. Focus on yourself. Don't worry about what others think of you. Chances are, you are doing a good job of covering up because clearly, they don't even know how traumatic this experience is. They aren't even going to be watching for it.

very painful indeed.
and my miscarriage was so bad!!
my MIL' dad passed away, i had to travel by train tht too sitting for 12 hours on my 40th day..after my MIL said, you both are young and can have a baby whenever you want, but this is the last time you can see my dad... so had to go..
by god's grace got pregnant after 8 months (doc advised a gap of 6 months) and now my daughter is 16 months old...
so cheer up dear.

Hi Videlhi,

Looks like I was drawn into my shell like a tortise after my first miscarriage. Though from exterior one would not even get the slightest hint that I am going through such a mess as I don't believe in self pity.

I had decided that I needed to work at it. At the time of my miscarriage, my SIL was expecting her second. You know how one would feel. I started accepting life as it is, and took a year's break though my gynaec mentioned that after three months I can try.

Now I am blessed with a healthy baby girl and have forgotten whatever happened in the past. Its just a passing phase, believe in whatever you do. And keep yourself occupied always. P.U.S.H - Pray until something happens.

First when I had miscarriage I thought why god is testing me like this and thought it was the worst ever faced.. I had severe bleeding , in the 2nd month and doctor advised me I shld take complete rest and askd me nt to travel. During that time, My father has to undergo major bye pass surgery and even I didnot go on the operation day to see him... as I have to travel for 7 - 8 hrs to reach my native... ...unfortunately, One morning gt a news that my father passed away... Travelled for 7-8 hrs to reach the native. Bcos of this , I was unable to go to the doctor chekup for nearly a 20 days. After that, when I went for the scan? - there was no foetus inside... when did it get washed out? no body knows?
1. did it get washed out before my fathers operation? if so definetely would have gone and met my father? or after that .. Only god has the answer..
It took nearly many days to come out of that..
Later I convinced myself that it is a Blessing in disguise.... If something else would have happend to my babys growth what would have happned?
Had my father would have know about my miscarriage definetely his soul wouldnot have rest in peace.
It is all in Gods hands .... Never loose hope..
Later went and had a consulation with the Gyneac...and thought will take a break to strengthen my health again....

Hi,

Even my first child got aborted. Its really a very bad experience. You start dreaming of the child from day 1. I had thought of a name and started talking to my child by that name and was very happy. I got pregnant at the age of 22, three months of my marriage. Then there was that dreadful day when i had pain in my stomach only to find that my child was not growing from the 45th day and it was 60th day when i found out and had abortion due to this shock.

I was crying all day. Thought of joining a job and also joined. But due to some problems my MIL started asking me for a child and said that you are ok now dont postpone for the three months that doc said and asked me to get pregnant ASAP (I know this is very harsh, but this was how she used to tell me). I left my job after 21 days of joining.

The reason was I was pregnant again with TWINS. So there is nothing that once there is an abortion you have to be depressed. Just divert your mind. Try to stay calm. Dont forget that the child that got aborted will always come back to you.

I have named my son the same name "Shreyas" which i had selected for the aborted child. So Shreyas is always with me only.

Hi Vaidehi and all

It is difficult to come over it, I agree. But, I feel that God has plans for all and it is best if we do not compare ourselves with others. Well, I never cribbed when I scored marks over others, when I got a job before others, when my husband is better than others' etc. So, please trust in God and yourself.

I was very much shaken after my miscarriage esp. at an advanced stage and I was very depressed for over 2-3 months. Being in a joint family, I was expected to be normal while I wasn't. Office gave the break I wanted. It will take time, and believe me, TIME HEALS. Just stay positive.

Today, I have forgotten everything and I smile everytime I look at by 1 month old baby.

As long as there are no other medical issues, 3 months of wait is good enough.