Travel & Shifting of residence during pregnancy

One of my close friend needs advice. It is 3 years that she got married. Now she conceived with the help of doctors treatment. Her pregnancy was confirmed just few days back. Her husband is travelling to US on some long time assignment. She wants to stay with her husband so that she would feel comfortable. But her relatives and husband wants her to stay in India so as to avoid risk during travel. Pls. advise whether travel would be safe for her during pregnancy, if so when?

Dear Blossom,

While it is safe to travel during pregnancy upto the 5th month, i would advise your friend to stay back in India for her confinement for the follwoing reasons:
1. It looks like she has had some difficulty in conceiving and surely her doctor who knows her complete history will be able to give her better treatment than some one here.
2. Once your friends husband comes here, it will take a little while to establish the medical insurance ( without which it is too expensive to get medical care here) , and find a good OB/GYN with whom your friend will be comfortable. In the mean time, she will have to go for medical checkups.
3. Going it alone during pregnancy here in the US is difficult. I have been through it and so have many other ladies here. In Chennai, she has her parents, inlaws and host of other people to pamper her during this time .
4. Believe me, the work culture here is such that your friend should be prepared to spend a lot of time on her own. Nowadays with so much advances in technology, she can always do video conferencing with her hubby every day.

My suggestion is that your friend stay back in chennai with her parents( with whom she may be more comfortable) and after her delivery, if her hubby is still here, then she can come to the US.

Hope this helps
Vandhana

I do agree with vandana, back home u have support from ur family+here gyn didn't give u as much time as back in india. Seems she has some complications so better to stay in india & continue her treatment with her gyn. Here system is totally different & doctor not give much attention to pregnancy patients.

I too agree with Vandhana. As she has said it is better for your friend to stay in Chennai with her parents because she will feel lonely in USA when her husband is working and it will be difficult for her to get adjusted to the life here where she has to be very independent.

First trimester is a not really a good time to travel. Best time to travel could be 5 - 6 months. This was mentioned by my Gyn as well. I would suggest to stay in India and turst me you will not feel any better than this.

Dear Blossom,

First of all, my hearty wishes for your friend on conceiving.Already our friends have given their valuable suggestions.To add to that my real concern is ask your friend's husband to verify with the insurance cmpy here reg. her pregnancy coverage becoz some insurance companies treat this as preexisting condition.So it is wise to clarify this doubt immediately b4 making any travel arrangements.

hi first of all

congrats to your friend. It looks like your friend has conceived after a struggle. though it is safe to travel, it is better if she stays in india and travel after the baby is born. here she will have the comfort of her parents, though the husband's comfort is also important.

Thanks for your advices. But she is very adamant in staying with her husband.

She feels that it would take another 9 months for her delivery. And then 1 year for the baby since the first year is very crucial for the baby. She thinks that this time period is very long.

She has already been to the states and she has stayed independently. So she thinks that staying alone is not a problem as long as her husband is along with her.

She wants to make a safe travel and wants to know if first trimester is good or wait for the second trimester. She is also scared at the same time since she is the only person stating that she wants to travel. Everyone are against her. She fears if travel could cause harm to her since from young age she vomits when she travels to hilly places or long distances. Last time also she vomited when she travelled to US. Her stomach throws off everything out during travel. But she wants to make a travel atleast during the second trimester where the problems could be less.

She doesn't want to travel but at the same time she wants to be with her husband. Her husband has no other choice than to go to US. She is confused and doesn't want to sacrifice her stay with her husband.

I'm helpless and dont know what to tell her. Pls. let me know your advices.

Thanks

Dear Blossom,

I still its a good idea for your friend to stay back in India. If she is thinking about coming to US for delivery...has she also thought about what kind of help she will get during her delivery here? We staying here usually get help from our parents or in-laws by asking them to come and stay with us for 6months to one year. If your friend's hubby is just entering this country I don't think he can sponsor his parents or in-laws visit. And also since they will be so new to this country it might be a little difficult to manage with a new born baby. She can stay back until she delivers and travel when the baby is 3months old or so - I think that would be a better option. I agree staying with hubby is important...but during pregnancy and delivery I personally feel staying with our own parents is more helpful.

Ask her to jot down the plus and minus points in travelling and not travelling with hubby and see what she wants to do

-Sihi

My suggestion would be let your friend stay in India for the first 4-5 months. In the mean time her husband can reach US and start exploring other conditons such as work settlement, apartment, insurance coverage, social security stuff. She can travel to US during her 5th month and join her husband. But she should start the process of visa sponsoring for her parents/in laws immediately (after reaching US) so that they can be with her during 9th month and everything will go on well. But all the above mentioned can be done, only if her doctor gives her a nod to travel during 5th month.

All the best!