Baby's gender

I would like to know what kind of response anyone out there received when you told your friends and relatives what your baby's gender is? I will wait to read some feedback before I post my thoughts on it as I do not wish to bias anyone's thinking...

Was your baby accepted with open arms or with reservation? And do you mind sharing towards which gender such a response was directed? How did you react when you heard the gender of the baby? How did you respond to people's nice or not so nice comments? So would you like to share it with the rest of us...

-L.

Hi,
FOr the first one, I never found out the gender of the baby.
Always I wanted girl, but my intutions were telling that I am going to have boy.
Finally I had boy. I was OK with that and felt I always have a second chance for girl next time.
For the second one I did ultra sound and asked the nurse to tell out the gender.
I was waiting every moment that she is going to tell me that 'It's GIRL', but unfortunately I had boy for the second time also.
I was devastated, very much upset and fought with my husband also about it.
He did tell each and everything to his mom and she was very happy that my happiness never came true.
And same time, my husband's brother's wife was also preganant and she had a girl baby. They were very happy about it and always passed comments on us ....
I went into depression and lost so much weight and didn't take care of myself and baby.
Finally I had second boy and after seeing him, I felt so bad about myself and about my mentallity towards the baby. I felt so guilty and begged god and baby to forgive me.
After that I never felt bad about my kids and made up my mind that whatever god gives is good for us and I am going to consider my DIL's has my own daughters.

It is always good to keep the secret until final moments and then convey the gender of the baby to others.
If you know and others know about the baby's gender, there won't be any charm in knowing after birth.

Good luck with your baby,
Punitha

Hi Lavanya

Nice topic. I always wanted a girl & by God's grace I got my cutie pie Aditi. But when I was pregnant we decided not to know the sex of the baby but whenever people ask I will tell "I want a girl"(with a big smile on my face) but immediate answer would be "why" followed by" Girls always take dad's side so y & always wants dad" I hate whenever I get such reply but always I will do is just smile & move on. Only one time I asked someone "why r u asking 'why' ".

But shocking one was from my mom when my delivery was over, my husband rushed to inform her that we have a Girl & she didn't even say congrats or asked about myself or the baby or a smile instead she was shocked coz I have a girl.(she did the same thing when my sis had 2 girls) she wasn't even happy for couple of days. Later she had cried about this to my first sis(who have only boys). The reason for this is we are 3 girls and no boys. But I don't c any difference coz now they r with us n their sons-in-law take care of them like their parents.

My parents have faced lot of criticism coz of this(only girls) thats y she doesn't want us to go thru' the same.

But now whenever my little one hears her voice over the phone she responds(only to my moms voice) this makes my mom cry n every time she says she wants to come.(She will be here in April). Thats Love.

Now coming to the topic, I have had bad experiences also Good ones(from my mil coz she has only 2 sons). According to me no matter what child God gives us ultimately that child is a GIFT, Treasure and Life & most of all our future.(according to me everything). I thank God for this

I love & adore my treasure.

It all depends to whom u tell.
Sorry for this not-so-long post.
I wish all the pregnant friends for a safe n happy delivery and wishes for new moms, also wish all who r waiting for this, to have a healthy baby.

Dhivya

Hi Lavanya,
Great thread. Well in my case both DH and I wanted a girl. So did MIL (She has only 2 sons). We found out the gender at around 16 weeks and it was a boy! MIL was disappointed She did make a few comments the next couple of weeks on what all we would be missing out by not having a girl, but then she accepted it, and to her credit has never commented on it until now. DH and I were very disappointed for a mnth or so and then got over it. And of course once I actually saw my son any reservations I had disappeared completely. (I am of course hoping to have a daughter next time, but really dont mind too much if I have a boy again).

The rest of our family welcomed him with open arms and no gender remarks. I have had a few people - mostly people of my grandparents generation - say that we should be very thankful abt having a son, but I usually tell them that I actually wanted a daughter!

Most of my friends would rather have daughters too, so maybe the inherent Indian bias towards sons is changing? I hope so.

Looking fwd to reading what everyone else has to say....

Vanathi.

hi,
i am mother of a son & 2nd time pregnant.hoping very much that its going to be a girl this time .

with the 1st one we were in India where gender of the child is not revealed.as it was our 1st baby we wanted it to be either way .when our son was born everyone was happy .though MIL spoilt my mood saying chinta gayi(now no tension) as baby is boy .also when i was pregnant everyone used to bless me to have a son which i did not like as either gender would have been blessing for us.
this time over i specfically told the doc that i do not want to know the gender of child as if it is going to be boy i would be very disappointed.i always used to plan that i would not go for 2nd baby by birth rather would adopt a child as that way i would sure to have girl .somehow that plan never materilaised so lets wait for 3 mths & see wait God has decided
love
pragati

I am in the same boat as Pragati.My son is 5 + yrs and my second is due 27th Feb(though I think it will be anytime now!!).

Strangely,with my first one,who was born in India,I don't remember discussing the gender of the baby even with my husband.I was so caught up with my high BP and gestational diabetes treatment that we had no time to even think what baby we wanted and in India,one good thing is that you get to know the gender only after birth.Ofcourse,my inlaws were particular that the first should be a boy and maybe even my parents wanted a boy because they themselves had only daughters and since my family had a history of only girls! Like Pragati said,even I used to get irritated when the elders always blessed us with the saying 'May you have a boy'. What is so great about a boy,I just don't understand.

Now, I know the gender of the second one and eventhough we wanted one gender this time,we are not getting that one!! But we are not particularly upset about it,as long as the baby is healthy,that is what matters.When my son was born and he developed jaundice and was in the nursery for a few days,I have seen some 2-3 babies there suffering with congenital problems,premature births etc. That is when my husband and me prayed to God sincerely for the health of those babies and thanked HIM inturn for blessing us with a healthy baby.

Nice to read your FBs - Punitha, Dhivya, Vanathi, Pragati and Sunitha. I always felt that its no one business to tell us what could be a better a gender. After all we are not creating something made to order... moreover ain't it the parents concern and none others??

Sometimes I'm awestruck at the way people react irrespective of their education or environment! I have seen that it doesn't matter if someone had only one gender kids and they can still hate that same gender kids when someone else is expecting. Boys or girls, I think there are equal number of people who prefer one to the other. But out here in the west where family names are a big deal most people crave to have at least 1 boy as they need an heir to carry their name forward! As conservative as that sounds, still this is very popular.

I'm just disappointed to see so many people who are already biased about the baby even before it has a chance to come into this world. How can you judge the most innocent creature even before it has a chance to make itself known???? I guess these people do not understand that health is more important than the gender, color, or any other external characteristic in anyone. Parents who have truly felt the ache of not being able to conceive on their own can really cherish the gift of a baby in an unbiased manner.

Anyway glad that there are so many IL moms and moms to be... hope everyone will have a safe delivery and healthy babies and wish each one of you a great time with your li'l ones for they are not going to be little for too long.

-L.

Dear Lavanya,

I wanted a girl the first time though every1 especially my in-laws wanted a boy. Every1 used to tell me (looking at my stomach during my first preg) that it wud b a boy and i wud get upset. Bcose i badly wanted a girl. I visited a lot of temples praying hard for a girl and also heard the garbharaksha CD the whole time which contained shlokas and songs.

Luckily God heard me and sent me a girl. I have a darling doll who is 2.2yrs now.
I dont need to watch any tv to do timepass as she is a fulltime entertainment for me!!!

I am sure all the ladies must also be feeling the same - babies are such cherubic angels.

JJ

Hi ......Everybody,

Thats a great topic to discuss . i got pregnant after a span of 2 years so we werebn't so particular about the gender but still i wished to have a girl....and our prayers were delightfully answered.

Right from my childhood i had developed a form of affection towards girl babies for no reasons. My MIL did not want me to deliver a baby at all ( Though 1 st) she had her own woe's and so i didn't give much ears to her expection........ . its a GOD's Gift for sure .and we should be happy to receive it .

Wishing all the MOM's to be wishes to come true........

Ramya

Hi Lavanya,

I had a boy last June. I was expecting a Boy only...I always have a soft corner towards girls from my childhood. Even then I wished for a boy as my first child. My husband's brother have a boy and everyone in my husband's house is very fond of him. Even my husband was very fond of him.. My in-laws have a secondary feeling (low when compared to boys) towards girls... I don't want my first child to be treated secondary by anyone. But my husband was OK with any child. I wish to have a girl next time. But never mind even if it happens to be a boy again.

Sasirekha