H4 Wife - Things to do?

I am Shakila and following is my profile...

- I got a bachelors degree in India
- I was working for a good company in India making decent earnings
- I got married to a H1B visa holder, which put me in H4 visa status (yes, that dreaded H4)
- Being H4, I can't work or earn a single dollar.
- All I can do is stay at home and stare at the four walls (Not ready for kids yet)

Does the above profile sound similar to you? Are you a fellow H4 visa holder as well? Please share how you use your time without getting bored to death.

I meet lots of H4's who are in the same boat and this thread could be useful not only to me, but to fellow H4 travellers as well:

Hi Shakila,

Looks like your frustrated sitting at home, having been a busy person in India. I too felt the same initially, later though did not get busy used to keep me occupied few hours atleast.

If you can drive, it will help in going out shopping at times. I do some volunteer work - no pay - just to keep occupied. I used to go to a library near my place and manage an online register for books issual. I knew about it through an ad they placed in a local journal. In return I used to get books for reading for free.
I am part of an Indian community in our place where I co-ordinate for events conducted in the community. These helped in making some friends, with whom I go out shopping, have pot-luck lunch and dinners like get-together and pass our time.

I think almost everybody who lands in the US in H4 visa goes through the tedious task of figuring out how to keep themselves occupied

Initially when I landed here I spent all my time browsing the web, watching TV and going out shopping (once I got my license). I used to explore a couple of new recipes everyday and keep trying them. Sometimes I used to feel the only sound thinking I did everyday was about what to cook? But not for long these things kept me occupied.

I thought of doing some voluntary work, but was not confident how long I can keep going with it for there are no real motivators for doing them. I recently thought about an idea of baby sitting. I really like spending my time with kids, so I should find it interesting. Also, I came across lots of Indian working women in our locality who are looking for baby sitters belonging to Indian community to take care of their kids. I am yet to decide about it fully.

Hi-

I am also pretty bored here after having a very hectic life in India. With passage of time, I have started to think about studying MS here. I came to this conclusion based on several factors..

• MS is not that costly to study. With the financial help that we can get from universities, MS might cost only $10,000 to $20,000.
• I learn that the above money can be made up in 1 to 2 years due to the higher salary we might receive after MS (compared to the salary we might receive for just BE/MCA)
• MS takes only 18 months to complete. I have already wasted 9 months wondering what to do. If only I have started studying when I landed here, I would be 1/2 way through my MS.
• During studying, we can legally work 18 hours a week, which is much better than nothing. We get to make some money while we study.
• Under the new law, people who study MS are exempted from the H1B cap. So, we don't have to worry about quota getting used up when we graduate..

Still...it is $20,000, which is about Rs.9 Lakhs!. But given the limited options I have got, this one seems to be the best course of action for me. Will keep you updated as I make up my mind. But, wanted to share with you all if you were considering similar actions...

Indira

I was also getting bored as a H4 visa holder. I tried volunteering for a brief time, but wanted to do something that will benefit me. So, I ended up doing this.

Even though I wasn't fat, I was out of shape in many parts of the body. I didn't have the curves that we see in a lot of american women. So, I decided to take the next 1 year to get back in shape. My single minded focus was to to do just that. I concentrated on

- Reading diet/fitness books and magazines to know more information
- Worked out regularly with a weekly plan
- Controlled myself on eating the right foods at right quantities
- Picked up a sport to play during evenings and weekends

I am in descent shape now. Even though I started this as a 1-year project until I get a job, it appears that this mentality to be in shape is part of me. I have a job now, but I still find time to do a lot of physical activity to keep in shape. To me, that one year was well spent..more worthwhile than having a full-time job for a year!

Akalya

Shakila,

Me too...sailing in the same boat - H4 visa status!

I always used to wonder 'America - the world of opportunities' is very uncruel to H4s like us. But from the American's point of view they need to have such restrictions to have opportunities for themselves too!

It's good to know the views of so many H4s, gives an idea of how we can occupy ourselves in an interesting and productive manner.

I have got involved in doing voluntary work in a local temple here. Tuesdays and Fridays, I go to the temple to do cleaning and other maintenance. It is so much of mental peace doing something in a religious place. We also had tamil & music classes for summer for the kids in the nearby localities. It used to be during Friday evenings and weekends. I enjoyed teaching kids and it was different experience dealing with kids here though they too are Indians

I intend to do some work from home and looks like I can pick up a lots of ideas from this group.

Cheers,
Rohini.

Dear Shakila,

I am in the same boat as you are. I was employed in India in a pretty decent job with a very good earning also. But I came here on H4 visa status and life just paused.. I really have nothing to do at home. Still trying to find out what to do.

Are u having a car to travel? That is the first thing u require here.

If u dont have a car, then probably u cant do anything. Other wise u can join various voluntary organizations around your living area.. if u are really interested in volunteering. I found a good website i.e. www.volunteermatch.org

U can view this website to find various openings in your area.


Best of luck,

Swati.

Akalya,

That is the way to go, and more power to you.

You have definitely motivated me and I am going to try out yr fitness plan.

Happy Deepavali.

best rgds
Vidya

i am also in the same boat..............i just watch t.v ,browse the net or do house work........i studied apparal designing in India&soon after studies got married,so i havent yet got a chance to enter the field.....&now its 2 yrs since marriage......anyone in Bay area ,like to make friends?

Hi Everyone,

It's deja-vu when everyone echoes about their sad experiences of being confined within four walls after coming to this country. Last 5 months in this country were definitely boring, but I had to find ways to keep myself busy and thankfully I did! I engaged myself in a weight-loss program, a self-directed one. I used to browse the web for hours to get motivated to lose those silly pounds...and now have been successful in losing abt 13 pounds...just 8 more to go!

Also, I kept looking for a good voluntary position on Craigslist.com and finally started teaching students preparing for SAT. It is a voluntary- only-saturdays position but it keeps me a little busy during the week too! Jan next year, I shall start my MS also...so it's not the same humdrum life anymore!

Vidhukumar, good to know you are in Sunnyvale, I live in San Jose. We come there frequently to meet a friend. We can be friends if you want:)

Love-
Shal