Miscarriage Support Group

Hello all,

How r u all doing ??

@Manisha : I understand how tough is it explain abt this to each and everyone.. My suggestion would be tell people that sorry I don't discuss about it in case they ask you a lot of questions. I did that to most of my relatives..I know I sounded rude but its better to be rude and say that I don't want to discuss than hearing their insensitive comments... Next time if I get pregnant (Hope god blesses me again) I am not going inform others for 5 months...I would suggest the same to you...

@Prisha : I too agree with Manisha.. you seem to be a very strong lady.. As you said from this experience I really came to know who are my "real" company...
I think I have come out of that sorrow slowly.. I am planning to start TTC again next month.. Last time I conceived on IUI so need to ask my RE to do it again..
I am really really depressed to go back to Clinic again..
I was so happy last time when I conceived and was thinking 'Thank God!!! I never have to come back here again'.. see now I am pushed to go there

But above all this, I am really happy to have found this group to share.. Lets keep it going

Prisha and Malar…its great that you’ll make an effort to keep in touch…I really feel good discussing this with people who really do understand. I know so many other ladies who have gone thru the same but hesitate to talk about it openly. Its difficult for others who haven’t gone thru a miscarriage to understand that sometimes these things happen and like my doc said its quite common in first pregnancies. Even now I have to keep hearing things like “Did u lift anything heavy?” “Did u eat spicy food?” “Did u hear any bad news?"…did u this and did u that. I know everyone means well but these questions just suck. I feel like yelling “I had nothing to do with my miscarriage u fools” (I have a very expressive mind ) I’m totally fine. I was the first one to make peace with the whole situation. And this situation has also been an eye opener, in the sense I found out who I can really trust in situations like these. My doc said I could start trying after 3 periods so I'm looking forward to that. I’m going to India in December..will have to bear thru with all the questions to a certain extent and then will have to say “no comments”. But oh ya, I’m definitely going to keep my mouth shut the next time I get pregnant.
Prisha, how did your appointment go with the doctor? Like I said, I did include u in my prayers and will always wish you the best. A big hug to you. Your time will definitely come. Tell us after your delivery
Malar, best of luck for next month Think of the clinic as the place that’s going to make you pregnant since u might be going thru the IUI again..that way u will look forward to going to the clinic instead of dreading it. I know someone who went thru IUI n had a miscarriage n her doc said its very common in the first try. So don’t think negative thoughts..meditate for 5 mins in the morning totally clearing your mind..ive started this n found that it really helps.

Uff..ive almost written an article…take care guys…best of luck

Just came back to say all the best to all you strong ladies..yes,don't tell anyone next time you become pregnant..I did that,even my inlaws and parents knew only after 3 mnths..my inlaws were wild with us and some of the relatives on our inlaws side who came to know only 2 mnths before my delivery ,that too because by chance they met my mom in the airport (when she was coming here),have almost stopped talking to us!!!

To add to that,even my neighbours here did not know I was pregnant..the winter really helped..could just hide inside those heavy jackets and no once could notice!!!

Originally Posted by Manisha_roy

Hey guys
How r u all doing?


Sunitha, sorry abt the misunderstanding in ur miscarriage details..sorry nevertheless for ur loss. U r right..the next time I am going to keep it a secret for some time. I made peace with my miscarriage in a few days but the amount of consoling I had to do to other ppl as well as the explaining abt it is the most irritating thing. The amount of questions ive had to hear over the past few days has almost made me have high BP Now I totally understand y in india everyone gives their news after 3 months.


Prisha dear, I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage and about the trying times that you have had. How r u doing? But I must say you are a very strong lady and I totally admire you. I cant believe that at times like this when u need someone to understand you there r ppl who turn out to be the opposite..i get so furious with ppl who try to hurt ppl in times of sorrow. I will definitely add u to my prayers too. Hang on and take care. And do keep in touch.


Hey chocolate, “I feel everything happens for a reason.There is a kid for all of us maybe this wasnt the one.” Amen. And thanx

Thanks Manisha. At the time I had the miscarriage I wasnt prepared to having a baby. I could have been a mom then too but everything in that situation was against having a kid.Even to being a mom you need to be prepared. Now its not like earlier times where when you get pregnant and boom you are in mom mode. Now I dont know whether its good or bad but we do plan for some things in life like marriage and kids.
But now we are prepared to welcome a little one in our lives and hope it happens soon.

Hello All,

@Manisha : Thanks for ur suggestion. I'll try to have some positive thoughts while going for the clinic...
And ya ya I know the kind of wierd questions ppl ask..someone asked "Did u take any pill during pregnancy" ?? As if I am so careless and take just any OTC pill when I am pregnant...

@Prisha : All the best for ur treatment !! I wish u a sticky pregancy soon...

@Sunitha : Ur idea of not informing abt pregnancy to inlaws and relatives is very good... I don't care a damn if they stopped talking to us !! Less talking, less problems

Regards,
Malar

Hey all
How is everyone doing?

Sunitha, I was thinking along the same lines..of telling my next pregnancy after 3 months..who cares what others think :)
Chocolate, ya u r so right..there is a time for everything. My husband n I never felt like having kids in the 3 yrs that we r married and we didn’t give in to the requests of relatives. I mean when we have a kid its going to be when we r mentally prepared. Now that we’ve gotten the feeling we r trying..i hope it happens soon for me too. Best of luck to u.
Malar, I just recently heard the “did u take a pill?” question after reading ur reply and it made me smile :) Real nonsense questions. Now I just smile at the stupidity of the questions. Btw I thought I saw u on a BB2 thread when I was doing a search of the site. I wanted to make a comment there since I am a regular viewer of BB but since there wasn’t a separate forum for it, I didn’t do so. Anyways not sure if it was u.

Take care all

Hello All,

Hope everyone is doing fine...

@Manisha : I guess both of us can write a book with answers to all these wierd questions and give it to people and ask them to read it first before asking any questions .

Yes I post rarely in BB thread but follow it regularly.
I don't have any favourtes there but I hate Sambhavana a lot.. Happy that she is gone

Btw, Have u started trying again ?? All the best and lots of babydust to you

Regards,
Malar

Hey Malar

The book's a good idea:)
Nope I wont be trying for a couple of months..doctor's advice. U? am going to india next month...for the first time m not so enthu abt my trip. hope i have a good time.
hmm me too a regular watcher of BB. m glad S went. but now rahul is irritating me. i actually liked him a few episodes ago. r u on orkut?

Regards
M

yes doctor says its better to wait for 3 cycles before u start again. Even I waited for last 3 months, I am planning to start from this month

Don't worry abt this India trip !! Just think ur mom will be there to pamper you yaar !! and pls pls ignore those stupid relative's comments or better tell them beforehand you would not like to tal abt this !!
Wish u a nice vacation !!!

Hey btw I am not on Orkut. but if you want, you can
PM me ur mail id, so that we can chat thro' mail. I can't PM you as you are still a New ILite

hey malar..thats great! wish u the bestest( ie. if there is a word like that) of luck and wishes...
have fun trying
i dont think i can PM u..but u can write to me at roy_manisha at yahoo.com...will give u my real email address there..

tc