Is Monogamy Realistic?

Hi,
I feel this is a great topic to be handled with great care. No man is faithful to their wife.The first one to cross the lakshman rekha.When there is infedelity, it's natural the woman also betrays somebody in her life.Can anybody suggest as how to bring back the DH back to their track. The poor woman tolerates everything just for the sake of children, society blah......blah.
Kuppulakshmi

Originally Posted by Nandshyam

Thanks Pradeep. I agree to your thoughts.

Change is the only constant in this world

Since you mentioned how can religion preach 2 things. Are we supposed to understand and follow what is best? Meaning, all our hindu Gods have more than one partners, but monogamy is preached to the follower?

Interesting food for thought : More on marriage

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http://bit.ly/10LUE

Pradeep

Well, I seem to get convinced that polygamy is the way it should have been, considering all points put forth above., though I have been uncomfortable with this idea most probably due to so-called "values" in which I have been brought up.

I have known atleast one use of it however when one of my dear friends (whose DH was sterile) conceived through a colleague's husband with the consent of all (respective spouses) involved to get herself pregnant through direct SI. There has been no problems at all nor any friction over this one-time event/relationship.

Nandita

There seems to be a consensus here that monogamy is not very realistic. I find that very eye opening.

I have to confess one thing, I have been very honest in my marriage and I can not imagine myself with another man while I am still married.

Maybe I have not understood the meaning of 'being in love' or maybe the fact that I am a mom first prevents me from venturing out of the marriage. I don't know the reason, but for me Monogamy is practical and that is the way I like it.

i second shardasuresh's words.

call it family values, culture, belief system.

i stay true to my spouse & she too.

we have fights, difference of opinion, etc. but we are true to each other.

i can not imagine anyone cheating the other when they are in a relationship.

won't it be better to break the relationship and then venture into unexplored quarters?

am i from the old school of thought or from the new?

can't really classify since ages, both school of thoughts have been co-existing.

I fully agree with SharadaSuresh and natpudan that for us the only comfortable path is monogamy.... being a part of the older generation where values were clearly defined.

Not that new ideas and concepts are right or wrong but that we have these values ingrained in our genes and any deviation can be very uncomfortable and even embarrassing.

We may discuss things only in theory and may not have any objections to any alternative lifestyle ... but then that's all there is to it and rightly so. Nobody can turn away from one's core belief/value system that easily.

Another thing we can all be justly proud of is that atleast we have been able to discuss these issues openly and with dignity.

Pradeep

Originally Posted by psd1955

Another thing we can all be justly proud of is that atleast we have been able to discuss these issues openly and with dignity.

Pradeep

what struck me immediately was:

we go around looking at the Porches, Bentley, Lambhorghini's and finally end up with a mid-segment sedan that would not bleed our pockets.

similarly we can admire at the likes of Sharukhs, Abhishek's, Katrina's, Aishwarya's but end up having a peaceful life with our own spouse.

Twenty years down the line I wonder if marriages will remain the same way as they are today. It may be just a matter of simple registration (for entering or opting out of a relationship) mainly for determining economic and social benefits. And there can be multiple relationships at the same time. Any restriction on the number of such relationships may be considered a violation of Human Rights.

Maybe all children born will be the responsibility of a welfare state. The mother's name alone will be considered sufficient by the State.

Definitely the society of 2030 AD will be a lot different from the way it is today.

Pradeep

It is very surprising that we have just assumed that monogamy is unrealistic and monotonous. Is it really so? If so, why? Has it something to do with a human's polygamous nature? It is very possible - more often than not - that incompatibility sets in with time. What to do then?

We must hear also from those who have strayed away from monogamy. How was their experience? Or else it is just a matter of jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

It is not about polygamy or monogamy... something else is the cause of this dichotomy. Remove the offending causes and the puzzle will solve itself. Otherwise we are just beating about the bush.

Nandita

Nandita24: I am confused reading your post. What is it you are trying to convey. What I would like to say is variety is a great human need to add spice to life. I think all earlier posts have covered the points raised by you now. Request you to go through them all and get a clearer perspective which I think you have missed.

Best Wishes
Pradeep