Are you blessed or cursed to be born as a girl/woman?

Hi Priya

I never ever felt in life that I could have been born a male...

Because Its one's good luck that we are born as women's..

I have enjoyed all the freedom being a women and also being traditional..

i am kinda bit restrictive about tradition and culture ..So no point I would ever think that I would have been a guy.

Always the grass seems to be greener on the other side.

All genders have their own pros and cons ...

Good to know that your mother's house have given you all the freedom..

Actually i guess your sasural people are still in old days..

SO they want their bahu to dress in saree in front of others..

They think that others will talk ill that how her bahu dresses etc etc..

I feel that this all arises when people are not modern and still they are in olden days..

Bothering about others opinions..
Most forward people now a days I see supporting bahu saying that times have changed and she is comfortable in that and moreover its her wish..

So its the attitude of your MIL...Not the whole female group...

 

It's tough to be a woman only if we indulge in rules we don't believe in! Meaning, I don't abide by other's people's views of how I should live my life, so the burden of being 'the ideal bahu' doesn't exist for me. Not because the pressure isn't there, but because I don't give in to the pressure. :thumbsup

It all comes down to how obligated we feel to please others around us. Those of us who care a lot about appeasing others will go to great lengths, even sacrificing our own happiness. While others live their lives regardless of what inlaws or hubby thinks. The first group might feel cursed to have so much responsibility as a woman, the second group might not feel burdened at all!

All of us try to fit into society in one way or the other, but it's HOW MUCH we try that either makes or breaks us. In my opinion, I think it's important to make your own decisions, and as long as those decisions aren't reckless or harmful, it's your right to live freely.

However, when getting married, a woman should find somebody who is in line with her thinking! Meaning, it's not exactly fair to be a free sprited person and then marry into a ultra orthodox family expecting THEM to change for you! It's called... using common sense. If we compromise our values, we have nobody to blame but OURSELVES. To any single woman thinking of marriage... I suggest finding a spouse who has similar values as yours. No matter how rich they are, or how good their reputation, if your core values are not compatible, you will regret later. Nothing will sink your life more than the absence of freedom.

 

i was brought up in such an environment that made me feel being gal is being blessed .but after getting married (rather engaged) i started feeling how good it used to be if i were a boy.now no freedom of choosing things u want even if it could be as simple as dress or as big as house ..being a gal u need to take permission from someone even if you want to visit ur own parents.lots of things .i feel i am deprived from lot of things juz because i am a gal

 

Hey Priya,

A very well put up question! Hmmm..... now let me think... :idea

As a daughter, the love & care that was showered on me was bountiful. As I grew up, especially when I became jawaan, there were certain "things" my dad didn't approve off - talking to guys, going out with guys, beautifying myself, etc. At those times, I felt it was better being a guy. No issues with waxing, looking good for "someone", & I'm sure I would have got good pocket money like how my brother got then (& I didn't... not even a Dirham:hide

When I was in college, I had wished I was a boy.... to roam around like a loafer doing nothing, teasing the girls/boys, getting into trouble, boozing-showing off... etc... Then I realised that these things can still be derived at if WE wanted to.... it's what we choose! I remember once I told my aunt, during the heated summer, "I wish I was a guy... I could sit topless!" She was speechless - kaisa baat kar rahi ho.... I was like AGAR!!!! That was one more thing - if you are a guy, you can speak your mind, but as girls, we REALLY have to think twice before we speak. :rant

But truly, I feel blessed being a woman. I always feel that as a man there are many responsiblities - like you HAVE TO always be well educated if you want to take good/great care of your family -parents or wife & kids. The tension which prevails if a boy grows up in bad company is harder to control, than that of a girl. As a girl, woh tension nahin hai.

As a bahu too I feel, it's a choice we make. WE can rebel our way to doing things like wearing shorts, showing skin, etc - But do you think it's worth getting all the "talks"? If they aren't comfortable, I don't think I can be either!

I remember I asked my m-i-l after 2 yrs of marriage whether she had a problem with me wearing pants. To which my m-i-l told, as long as it doesn't look BAD, it's ok. Just because she gave me permission doesn't mean I'll wear micro-minis & roam around.

During pregnancy, I felt AWESOME!!!! To feel a baby inside you, is the most wonderful experience of all. The first kick, the movement of their breath...of their finger... of their elbow.... Aaah! Only We can experience! After they come out, we feel we have done too much as mother & fathers less, but I'm sure they ENVY us - that we got to experience each aspect of our kids life. There are days when I think I would have like to take the occassional "Boys night out" instead! But nothing beats being a woman!

Like someone also mentioned earlier, the grass is greener on the other side.

 

There are two sides...We have got so many forwarded mails about Men vs women,advantages of being a man,woman etc..But considering the real facts in indian culture(particularly mine),I want to born as a boy/man.

 

Being born as a man or woman is neither a blessing or a curse.

You are blessed if you are born with

A HEALTHY BODY

A SMART BRAIN

LOVED

RESPECTED

SURROUNDED WITH GOOD PEOPLE WITH GOOD VALUES

OPPURTUNITIES TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAM

FREE TO BE WHAT YOU WISH TO BE

FREE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT...

 

My reply may be crazy but this is what i feel. I always think that why i didn't born as a male. How much freedom they have?. they have freedom to dress, to roam around in late nights, to meet their friends anytime, to have lot of friends, to maintain their friendship, to smoke, to hv girl friends, to drink alcohols, to travel any place at any time, to get married in late 30's. I don't hv all these freedom. Dress - only chudidhar i should wear but my mil force to wear saree which i don't like, i luv roaming around with friedns in late nights atleast on nights like new year or any spl occassion. Me - i should be in home by 7 pm, after marriage - my husband said i should not hv contact me college or school guys. when guys r worried - they can take alcohol to forget the sorrow but we ladies don't hv any option other than shedding tears for hrs.we chould get married befor 24 yrs. You can say that few girls has this freedom. Few girls has , i agree but family girls like me - we do not have. If i do any one of these - i ll get a comment saying that she is earning so don't respect elders. but what abt guys - they do all these????