Hi all, This topic may sound weird for some... but we need to get things clarifed and need to find alternatives for this major problem that any girl is facing in our country the mother INDIA.... these days even many children below 10 years are victims of that..... This happens for many reason... two of them are the blackmail threats after the rape to teh girl and the family for many reason or mear lust of a guy.... I see that rape a emotional instrument used in india for many crimes.... Its pathetic to hear all stories happening around... I have been heard some story or other each day on this... we read in paper that many take revenge on a girl by raping her and leaving he dead... or live in the courage that she is not goin to reveal it outside as its the problem of her and her family's dignity.... Is this not wrong???? I think our perception on virginity, knowledge about sexually infected diseases, way to keep a person's sexual emotion pious and the way sex is taught to kids play major role in this... when these two are changed then I hope that many crimes naybe avoided... also we see many people spoil their life getting infected of the great HIV in the way of satisfying their lust... Many of them may go against me on the statement that I am going to make below... dont you think that just because we girls and parents feel that a girl looses her virginity when she is raped due to circumstances and hide it from the law when happened to encounter the rapists do it very boldly and satisfy their lust and move to the next girl?????????? what will happen if a girl fight for her human rights if something goes wrong boldly???? and why do we nuture girls as soft rose petals????? roses have soft petals and the plants have thrones aswell to guard them... are we not failing in teaching our girls with a defence mechanism??? are we failing in feeding them with bold thoughts????? what will a rapist react like when a girl raped by him tel him that "ok done.. so what next... i have no regrets but you might havve to feel for this under law" why is a girl doomed of her life when she is raped???? why are'nt they thinking what next??? and consider it to be an accident.... I know its tough to think like this being a girl i also feel bad.. i might also not think this way... but how long are we gonna be the victims of this crime??? until we fear about it.... If not now when is this agony gonna get over????? and while bringingup guys why dont we say that sex is like eating and sleeping nothin to hide so much on that and female sexual features are just yet another part as his????????? I think this will reduce his curiosity to see them and their craze for porns.... just because of all these i feel many pornograpy videos, sites, books mint money .... there is actually nothing to fuzz on that..... people now its your turn to answer these questions and have a healthy discusion..... Jeffreena
I am not sure whether this thread has been posted in the right forum, its upto the moderator to move it where appropriate. Well, Jeffreena.. This is a wonderful topic to discuss and this really matches with the protection work I am currently doing in Sudan. Rape is a crime. Period. It is an assault by a person involving sexual IC against the most vulnerable human beings (mostly against women and children). It is a crime committed by the perpetrator not only against the survivor, but also against the state Govt. If a person involves with sexual IC with the concent of any human being under the age of 16 (defined as child) is also an offence and subjected to statutary sentences. Here the sexual concent is differ from state to state. In india it is 16. Here, forced marriage, early marriage and marital rapes against children are to be considered as crimes. Nevertheless, the rate of reporting and level of procecution do vary from state to state. Its so interrelated with our cultural and behavioural practices. It is a shame, some women tend to re victimize the raped survivors by their talks and practices in the name of culture and norms. That is why, rape is always under reported in India. The survivors or their families tend to hide the case by thinking too much about the girls future marital life. This allows the perpetraters to escape from the case and repeat the same to enjoy their lust. Rape has been also used as a weapon in many cases against women. It is really stupid that many village leaders (panchayat leaders) allow the rapist to marry the survivor as a solution/compensation to his crime, allowing him to rape her again and again with a licence! In most of the cases, the offenders are not strangers. Either they are the relatives of the survivor or the neighbours/friends/live in the same village etc... In this case, women must understand the security circumstances of her surrounding and try to learn how to protect her from abuses. Stigma and discrimination is the main reason why a girl is domed of her life and not willing to come forward for reporting. This is a social issue... It can be reduced, stopped or handled in a proper manner if the society is corporating only. In my work place, both in India and in Sudan, I have handled so many rape cases. I have seen many girls who are coming forward to report against this cruelity, but due to the delay in procecution, poor legal systems, lack of corporation/bad treatment by the Police dept, and the over involvement of media are weakening them so much. On the other hand, what is the survivor going to get out of all these efforts? Frankly, nothing, but she will be definetely labled as a "raped" or second handed girl, and her marriage would be big question mark:bonk It is very hard to prove rape as per our legal system. It needs so many evidence, and it takes plenty of times and efforts to prove it. Not every body is patient to corporate with it. At the top of it, there are plenty of chances for the perpetrater to be bailed out soon or to come out of this case. So all those efforts may leave the survivor as a labled "bad" girl and do nothing against the perpetrator. It is still a big question mark in our judicial and social system, but a big issue and the number of rape cases are dramatically increasing in India now!
Tugga, You are right... but my pain is why want a judiciary or law to do something what are we gonna do to come out of this problem?????? we know that the number of rape attempts keep increaasing but did our way of bringingup girls changed to safeguard ourselves... when we ourselves are not taking an initiative for a terror against us who else will???????? to an extent sex education is present in NCC... but when will it be taught in school?????? i fight against people who know the way out but stay reluctant to act upon such that it spoil the socitey.... initial critic will be there... were'nt there opposition before 50-60 years for female literacy????? dint we fight out???? when our great grandmothers had stayed at home without education fearing the talks of teh socitey and their insults calling that girl with all curses, not good for the family will we be in this state now??? doing MS and doctorates travelling across the world???? any change cause pain to the socitey and the people who want it... but in due course it becomes a way of living... y not we takeup the pain???? Jeffreena
You have put up a very valid point. I think ours is a society that always blames the victim in any crime and if the victim is a girl, no matter how young, she is declared to have brought the crime on to herself. This is the main reason why women don't come forward with the crime committed against them. They know that, the police, media and society will only question them. Thank God for our judicial system which gives many rights to women and only that's why at least some rapists and molesters get punished.
This is a good post. Jeffreena, I am sorry I disagree with you. Over the past 25 years Indian legal system has become very sensitive to this issue. Lets leave the celebrity scandals out this discussion and focus on common people. I know of many families who report rape to the the police. The police have been trained to be sensitive to the girl and their families, It is against the law for the media to publish the pictures of victims. The court proceeding are held in a closed environment. I think there is a genuine effort being made to reduce the menace of rape in our society. Societies attitude is also changing. I personally know of a case, where the girl told the prospective groom (arranged marriage) about the rape. He told her it was not her fault. I agree that the legal system in India is bad and it takes for ever for the girl to get justice. But the society is definitely becoming more sensitive.
Hi Sharda, there is nothin to get offended.... I am aware of the laws and the happenings.... but how many percentage of the rapes are handled the same way it has to be???? and also my major worry is about how are we girls equipping ourself against this??????? each and every individual is responsible for chaging the perspective of the society ... yes I do agree that our law is now more favourable for the victim, it helps us all a lot, support us... but only with the family support a girl can reach the law... still most of them among us are jus feeling bad about the victim.. i mean the sympathy... first we should stop feeling sad for it rather rouse out in anger... this is what I am telling... marshal arts for a girls basic saftey has to be taught in schools... say 5 months back in chennai a school girl was raped in an electric train at morning 11 AM. she was identified all in blood.... she was not even able to identify the rapists. in this situation a girl if she was courageous enough and had learnt the way how to save herself it would have been far better is it? this is what i am spekaing about. still our country has got villages and illiterates.... at this point do u think a girl of the above mentioned condition will be let to continue her education further? being raped and treated unfair is also an issue but that alone is not the issue... i had mentioned in my earlier post about many other things... the root cause has to be targeted not the cure.... its only because of the budidng generations who can change the entire country into a safer place... and i was also spekaing about the **** videos, mastrubation and lot more... all these spoil children education and sometimes also endup in mishaps.... If a teenager is taught what is it all while they enters their teens then they would have done their studies rather spending their time on all these dirty talks and videos.... this is definitely not in our country... this is what I am spekaing about Jeffreena
You have a good point about sex education I actually am not offended by your post, in fact I am glad that you have raised this issue. I just wanted to say that the society is changing (albeit very slowly) This post has made me think of some of the comments people make on eve teasing. I heard people remark. 'These girls wear such vulgar clothes that is why they are teased or raped'. Such comments make my blood boil. However, if a girl is on a date and goes drinking with a guy. At the end of the date they start fooling around. After some time the guy has sex with the woman, Do you think the woman is justified in calling it rape?
hi sharda, you are right I am not supporting those kind of girls... I know people who do that but i wonder if they call it rape... that cant be classified so... and these few girls adultrate our community. for them a date start with a hi , a coffee and end with sex. and in many common places where the western culture has started intruding we can see these kind of girls. also they just not spoil their life but also by seeing the rest of the people who are their very cheap that is for them a girl who doesnt date and who doesnt have a boy friend is absolutely a country fruit. slowly these girls who doesnt know what a date is get into these kind of traps and endup being raped in a date and they blame the guys. I cant accept. being a IT professional I myself personally have seen cases like this
Dear Jeffy need to understand... you started by saying that " Why should rape exist in our society at all?" very valid and thought provoking point. 1) The only solution to this problem is education to all genders that "Forced sex" is NOT the way to show your authority over anyone. Now that comes with sex education / moral & value education. if we indicate to young school going minds about what a gory & heinous act rape is then may be we shall have fewer rapist in the future. 2) We have also to educate the masses that rape is a CRIME. like stealing. someone has stolen your self respect and has encroached upon your body without your permission. the rapist has to be brought behind bars and the victim counseled that its not shameful the she/ he is raped. As someone has pointed out that these days attitudes are changing and more cases are getting reported and justice is being given. now coming to your last mail... that was very judgmental. If 2 people who are dating each other wish to end the date in sex thats their call. I don't think we can say whether its wrong or right. Also previously all these moral issues were subdued in our society but now people are more open about their relationships. If you look around just think how many times you have come across people in their 50-60s who had 2 marriages/ had mistresses and children from them.Which era did they come from? they are not todays youth. this is very common in our rural society. It is the urban population with their double standards who are quick to blame the "west" for all these so- called "corruption" in our society. You started a very thought provoking thread. why not continue discussion on that instead of side tracking into social moral issues... maybe you can start another one for that.:hide: PEACE = NO OFFENSE K
Rapes and other sexual crimes exist in every country. No matter what are the laws or how educated the society is, these kinds of crimes are on the rise everywhere. The only thing that we can do is to protect ourselves and our children from such acts. We must learn self defense and beware of the situations which might put us in such a situation. Also, protect our children from any such situation too.
