Why Remove The Thali / Mangal sutra While Going To Work?

I was told by my elders that 'THALI'is very sacred and precious for
married women, and will be removed only after the lady becomes a
widow. I am surprised to note that many new generation or the younger
girls, who are married remove THALI when they go to work/office. I
feel that this is very bad and against our culture. Also the parents
do not insist or advise the younger generation on the value, importance
of this. I hope we should teach and make it to practice on
the culture we were brought up by our ancisters. Any comments ?

byVimal Iyer brought to you by sunkan

Hi sunkan mam,
As you said removing thali has become quite common now. Even few of my friends do it. Basically i am neither for or against it. When i happened to discuss about this to my friend, she made the following statement "Wearing thali all the time and hating your husband does not prove a successful marriage. The love you have for your hubby is what will count for your life. Take Americans. They dont have thali in their culture. What if I had been an american. Its as simple as that." I dint know how to respond to that. But then me being in this generation (newly married too. Jus 8 months since i am married) and working, I never remove my thali. Dont think i will dare do it in the future also. My way is, I dont like to remove it. But I dont have a problem if you wear or not.
Sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings.

Americans do have their wedding rings in their culture and both men and women tend to honor as we do ...our THALI...

atleast..the Americans I know...and as I see in movies....

hi Sunkanji,

nice topic but i hardly believe anyone care for all this...i care....it will be like this ......no bindi with jeans no sindur with western dresses....what if the elders too do same... but still there are many who follow this whatever dress they wear no matter, i really appreciate them. But it is really sad we can see women make other women a laughing stock when they see someone wearing bindi, sindur and such stuffs along with western outfits...i really think in coming years all these things will be really to be worn on some festivals only and we will be totally western in our thought, in our dressing and say bye bye to culture and tradition which is really taking us to declination in all the ways which is really invisible at the moment.

Originally Posted by padmatvt

hi Sunkanji,

nice topic but i hardly believe anyone care for all this...i care....it will be like this ......no bindi with jeans no sindur with western dresses....what if the elders too do same... but still there are many who follow this whatever dress they wear no matter, i really appreciate them. But it is really sad we can see women make other women a laughing stock when they see someone wearing bindi, sindur and such stuffs along with western outfits...i really think in coming years all these things will be really to be worn on some festivals only and we will be totally western in our thought, in our dressing and say bye bye to culture and tradition which is really taking us to declination in all the ways which is really invisible at the moment.

dear padma,
you are now in china, i see a lot many documentary where they do not give up their culture, so it is just a revolution and all will comeback as we are indians and how else can you other than being an indian, pant top and all ok but then certain things keeps running inside you and that is your innerself well dipped into our culture..sunkan

One of my friends used to remove her thali on office days. Her reason was that its heavy (made of gold) and precious. What if she gets attacked by some thief during her daily commute to office, she may loose her oranament as well as may get bruised. She used to wear it in safe surroundings.

Regards.

Dear Sunkan,
Its indeed a sad situation that i come across day in and out.My friends/cousins for that matter, remove them when they wear Jeans or some modern outfit.I have been married for close to 2 years and not a single day had i been wihout thali or sindoor.I wear Jeans/Formal Pant/3/4 kurtha to work too.On Those days i sport a smaller bindi and still keep sindoor slightly smaller in size, but noteable.I have never ever removed my thali and will not dare to do it.I'm in for no arguement on this issue.Some customs are made and cannot be questioned.I think its people's own perpective to take it or let go.

Good Thread!

Yes sunkan mam,
it has become a fashion, removing thali while going to work. thali is not only a part of our culture but indicated to men that the woman is married. infact in olden days men wore toe rings on the second toe as women do now to indicate that the man is married and in those days women walked with their heads down so that they could find out that a man was married or not. but later It was believed that men in the olden ages could look at a woman’s feet and if she wore toerings,could know that they need not evince any further interest in her. I do not know how far these theories hold.

coming to thali...i am not for the cinematic thali sentiments which our heroines hystericaly depict in our movies. But i do believe that it commands respect. it bestows a modicum of dignity. I upholds the woman's status.

Many women feel that men are free from proclaiming their marital status. "Mr" does not reveal that whether a man is married or not. so now a days even women who do not want to proclaim their status use prefix as "Ms" instead of "Mrs"...

however our age old traditions to which we are rooted to are not just rubbish or told blind foldedly. everything has a reason scientific or logical which we may not be aware of. but all these rules and regulations are to guide us in right path. that much i can say.

love
geeth

Sunkan,
My co-sister, lives in NY and she is also a physio-therapist..she has to work during the late evenings, and she also does house-calls...the places she goes is not that much of a good place to wear these things.
She got the permission from my BIL who said...'We know each other well, why do we want to show others that we are Husband and wife..our life is important than these things, so she keeps the 'thali' in the drawer and go for work., i don't know whether she wears it after she comes home...but whenever she visits her mom's place, she will wear and go over there...I think this problem is due to the reason that nowadays 'thali' is tied to the gold chain., not traditionally by 'yellow thread'..
If you ask me, I will not do that...

sriniketan

Hello madam,
I have also met ladies who remove bindi/thali . I dont have any grudge against them.Its their choice.But i never do that...though i look a bit odd sometimes dressed in bindi and earrings for modern outfits..i dont mind looking like that.