Victim blaming in rape- Are we responsible too?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by docathome, Mar 5, 2015.

  1. docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

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    The recent uproar regarding one of the delhi rape convicts saying in an interview that 'the woman is more responsible in a rape. Woman should be doing household work and not roaming around with men at nine in the night in bars wearing wrong clothes and doing wrong things. Only about 20 percent of girls are good. If she had not fought back we would have let her off after doing what we wanted and beating the boy' has not yet died down.. There is talk about public lynching, castration etc again..

    But this got me thinking about how much of this viewpoint 'normal' people like us subscribe to.. When we see a girl dressed in, say a mini skirt and a spagetti, on a public road being teased by a group of guys do we think
    1) why can't she dress appropriately.. Obviously she will get teased.
    2) its obviously her fault to come out with such indecent clothes and attract men. Let her learn the hard way.
    3) what useless men to harass a girl.

    Do we not also tell our daughters not to go out late with men and not dress 'badly'. Don't we also hold similar views and impress them on our daughters.

    I know I often think the first way regarding such incidents,.

    Is not what he said an extension of such thinking. If it was from a convict but from some sage or politician would we have accepted it without a ruckus?
    Are we also not responsible as women and mothers for inadvertently blaming the victims for such incidents? what do you'll feel regarding this?
     
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  2. VaniVyas

    VaniVyas Platinum IL'ite

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    I think you had to read more on what this animal ( he is not a person to me) said!!!

    He have even done this a thing to a 5 year beggar girl. He laughes when he said the girl did not know what I was doing............ I can never forgive this ************

    Let all the bad words shower on this animal.
     
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  3. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    It is even so tough to write these words, but it is reality, so writing...

    only in some countries like India gang rapes (instead of rape) happens, I never heard animals do such way of sex. Animal when need is there it does , and that is natural. here, it is not about sex needs, it is a attack on women's self-respect, to bring them down. they can't tolerate women equally living in society ( as today women are more confident, living life not dependent on a man, it hurts their ego, as these kind of men at home also suppress women).

    in an interview about movie bandit queen, director shekar kapoor said, rape is very less to do with sex.

    please see this video also, I liked the views very much:'
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuUOwg6Ay4A


    in my view it has nothing to do with Dressing, how much covering is OK, full sleeves, close neck, cover hair, or like in rajastan villages full face, or hijab? how much is OK? some even have problems with jeans pants and suits?

    If we go USA and see in beach we don't feel odd at all, with all bikinis.
     
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  4. docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

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    He is a criminal and I don't feel he deserves any kind of sympathy either.. I have not read as much bout the incident i guess.. What I was considering was only the viewpoint of women blaming on our society, not whether he was right or wrong,. I don't think anybody in their right mind would think a guy like him is justified in his actions.. Thanks for ur reply.. It was interesting. Will try n read more bout what he said..
     
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  5. docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

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    Just clarifying.. I'm not supporting this guy in any way.. I'm just wondering if as an average person I also inadvertently support this thinking that women are responsible for the treatment we receive..
     
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  6. docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

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    Thanx for the reply. Will view the video..
     
  7. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    First off: Here is the link to the full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Tfaurfg7EQ

    I think its a must watch for all.


    @docathome : This is my opinion: When we say our daughters/sisters/women in our life to not dress like in a certain way or not go out with someone unknown, it is more like a word of caution. We say it because we care. This doesn't mean we think or hold the same views/opinions similar to the convicts.

    If you see the way that person speaks in the video, he has no remorse at all. He has a set (low) opinion about how not women should be.

    @KashmirFlower :
    Please see this link for rape statistics across the world: Top 10 Countries With Highest Rape Crime. Or rather google rape statistics/gangrapes across the world. This is not specific to some countries like India but this happens all over the world. Nirbhaya is everywhere.

    According to me, anywhere in the world is not safe for women anymore. What will teach men to respect women as their equal? God knows? After I watched the complete video, I am even more angry, depressed, upset and so many more emotions.
     
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  8. Komik

    Komik Silver IL'ite

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    Rapes happens even if women would wear burka.
    Clothes has nothing with it.
    Coz its like justyfing man, he saw girl-wanted rape her, so did, its her who provoked him.
    Compering these guys to animals is offending animals.
    I dont even.find words to.describe them.
    For sure they are not humans.
    What scared me the most was his open speech, with absolutely no regrets, no guilty feelings.
    Just shocking.

    How abput statistics-I feel some of the countries would be much higher in it , if victims would not shame to report rape.
    Sad but true.
    In many cases raped women simply is affraid/ashamed to go on.police, coz social blame wil be on her also.
    That is exactly what he said in interview- "she will not tell anybody"…
    And yes, we put part of the fault on the women thinking "she is not dressed properly".
     
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  9. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for the link, Sparkle.

    I have been reprimanded for dressing "inappropriately" by my parents. I had several rules growing up - No sleeveless if I were using the public transport; unless a friend drops me at the doorstep, no staying out past 10; no short skirts; while in India, wear Indian clothes, save the modern clothes to wear abroad etc.

    I used to be bewildered and annoyed. Today, however, I would repeat the same to my cousins and I have no doubt I would ending up saying the same to my daughter in about 10 years time.

    Like Sparkle says, it isn't about echoing the mindset of the lowlife. It is about exercising caution and being careful in our own land; much like covering chest in winter to stave off a cold.
     
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  10. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    I'm watching the show and the bloody defence lawyer ought to be put down. Death by hanging for him too, I tell you.
     

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