Taking care of parents's heath

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by coolsandy, Aug 28, 2014.

  1. coolsandy

    coolsandy Gold IL'ite

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    When it comes to visit a doc for any kind of medical ailments, my parents are one stubborn humans. They would visit only when the situation gets aggravated.

    It goes like this:

    She had some dental issues and never told me when she had one. One fine day, it did had to get severe and it did. Lot of pain, unable to brush, unable to chew food. We had consulted two dentists in our area, but both of them advised tooth extraction. We luckily found another experienced dentist who suggested a mere RCT. It was a painful procedure, both 'tooth'fully and emotionally.


    My mom had severe stomach ache and was always suffering from it. Any pill that she pops it would only get vomited the very next moment. We have generally advised her a lot to visit an appropriate doc but she is on not visiting one. One day, the problem was so severely aggravated that we didn't know what to. Luckily, we were able to get details of a very good doc and when we visited him, the he diagnosed it to be a very simple problem. Constipation. And he prescribed her medication, asked us to follow it for a month and visit after that.
    Now, the problem is cured, but with the help of the medication only. It is been more than an year but she just wouldn't visit again. She is repeating that medication and that too part of what is prescribed. No matter how much I explain to her, she wouldn't come. One obstinate woman.

    There are quite a few such incidents, where they would get their medicine or use the prescribed medicine for years and years. And now, the new problem is with their routine eye check up. If one has ever visited an ophthalmologist, one would know that there would be ~6 columns to be filled in with some details, 3 for each eye, cylinder, axis, power et al. And both my parents have all those columns filled in. If you get what I mean. They would never come for annual check up. She is still using her 3 year old prescribed spectacles and would never come for a check up. My dad got a cataract surgery two years ago and the doc had suggested to get surgery done the other eye too. The annual check up is anyway gone for a toss, but the cataract?? Why delay it?? Constant requests to them is only making them more obstinate and they would get angry with me.

    Now, I am not pestering them. But, at the corner of my heart, I am really worried. I do not want to end up in emotional stress just because they are not willing to visit docs at the right time.

    How do I go about it?

    P.S: All the doctors whom we have consulted until now, are decent ones, and ones who are pros in their field. Nor do they charge exorbitant fees. I am telling you it is a very nominal ones, every single person can afford it. Yeah, my parents can afford it. Also, the medication they have prescribed too are the ones which come below Rs.200. Seriously.
     
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  2. memeera1234

    memeera1234 Gold IL'ite

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    While reading your post, I felt as if you had jotted down details abt my parents. Ditto for them!!! They will never visit a doc when some issue is in the primary stage. They will wait until things get aggravated and there is no option left other than consulting a doc.
    Same like you, they would never pay heed to mine or my sisters requests.
    Now we have chalked out a plan. We go for " EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING". Cry and say sentimental dialogues!!! My sis is especially good in this:)
    If still they don't pay heed, then there is always the fool-proof option. I ask my husband to speak to them and tell them to go to a doc. Believe me, my parents can never say no to him or my bro-in-law ( my sisters husband )...:)
    These ideas "touchwood" have worked for us till date.. hope things work out for you too...

    Cheers,
    Meera
     
  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    My mom is no different from yours. But I handle her tactfully.

    Whenever I see there are some problems going on with her health, I won't wait till her ask for helps, or the problem to get aggravated. I just book the doctor's appointment, pay for it and ask her to visit.

    Since I have already paid, my mom won't waste the money, you see... Most of the time, I would accompany her or send my maid or any relative to accompany her. Also, I would give her the transportation. It is no different from forcing our little kids to eat through tactful manners. Elders too become like kids as they age.

    As for general check-up, I always do that through my office. So, I book the same package for my mom around the same time. I pay that in advance and take her along with me for the tests. Since I too go through the same process, she would be excited to join me, compare the results etc..etc...

    Now that, its time for her to go for the regular arthritis check up. She would obviously refuse and say she is miraculously fine now. So, I decided not to ask her, but to book the appointment and pay on-line for this evening and take her to the hospital on my way back from work.
     
  4. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    OK...so it's not just my parents who believe that they don't need doctors!

    My father slipped and hurt his knee during my last vacation in India. This happened in Chennai. 2 days after that, they left for Trivandrum. This knee has been bothering him for a while. And by the time he left he could barely stand (and he is a big man, so only my husband was able to shoulder his weight). Instead of going to an ortho in Trivandrum, he waited 10 days, DROVE by himself to our native place (6 hour drive) and was standing in obvious pain when we arrived there. That afternoon itself I said lets go to the doctor. But his Ortho only comes to the clinic near their place on Tuesdays (and it was only Saturday). He got a good dose from the doctor himself and the doctor told him very bluntly "If you want to ever walk properly again, don't do such dumb things again" Scared him completely, and now he has been visiting an ayurvedic center 3 days a week for treatment.

    My mother??? less said the better. She goes by her father's policy "Go to a doctor and you will get cured in a week. Don't go and you will get cured in 7 days"
     
  5. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh...here we are troubled becoz my mother will visit so many doctors for a problem ....this really causes confusion...and she will not take any medicine prescribed by any of the drs.
     

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