I have this neighbor who is quite a competitor. She is very talented,hardworking and has some good qualities too. However,she feels she needs to be the best. In my community,myself and her are the only south Indians.Hence,I feel it more. her face changes if I do something better than her.For eg, be it driving or keeping the home clean etc New thing is dressing.I am balanced in dressing wear both traditional and mordern.At home,I even wear shorts. this neighbor is very homely and usually she dresses in salwars or teeshirts with loose pants and no matter what keeps a bindi.I have always seen her that way.Offlate,I found her imitating me and trying to take it a notch better.Initially,I thought it was my imagination but now i find maybe I am not. For eg,she has never worn sleeveless.I wore lots of sleeveless this summer and she started to come to my home only in sleeveless and not feeling comfortable. she keeps talking 4 to 5 times about how she also wears shorts at home all the time.I was like ok cool. the next day she came home early in the morning in her shorts,spoke to me for 10 mts and left. Next week,I was wearing a summer dress.next day she wore that and came home. yesterday,I wore shorts and a teeshirts at home and we were talking.I found her sizing me up. today,she came home in shorts and sleeveless,spoke for 10 mts and left. I find it very weird and honestly irritating. I can very clearly see she is not at comfortable in it.she keeps pulling her shirt,touching her shorts to cover her thighs.then why does she do it?see,if it is her style and if it is what she wants,she has every right to but she is not. I used to like her for her elegant self before and now I do not even like her much and even iam sure she does not like her this way. why does she need to show off and need my approval??what's is with some people and fierce competetion?
In summer, everyone wears a dress or shorts and tee or sleeveless. How is it that when you wear, it not showing off but when she wears, she is showing off? If my friend was trying to explore new things, I would be happy for her and not so hot and bothered.
Wow! think of it as that you are her role model and she has respect for you and likes the way you dress and do things and hence trying to imitate you. Its also possible that her husband might be telling her to dress like you. So i don't think you should take her changes personally. Its always uncomfortable when people try a new style of clothing. i was uncomfortable in a saree first few times i wore it, tried my best to hide my tummy. Now i am totally comfortable, same with western clothes.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You should feel flattered that she wants to dress like you. Also I don't get how someone can be uncomfortable in their clothing and also showing off at the same time. PS: you aren't being a very good friend by silently judging her.
sorry guys.I understand my mistake.u are all right. I was not angry with her dressing up as that is her personal,but all of a sudden when she started wearing and doing things which I do back to back, got me a bit annoyed. I felt it more like a competiton,as though she wants to show she is better. What I meant by uncomfortable is, wearing something just to show off that I am cool when it is not really wat we are. But again,as u all said I should have been matured and not worried about what she does with her life.I am actually surprised at how matured u guys are.Wish I was like u all.thank u for showing me and telling me the right things guys.U will all make awesome and true friends
I wish I had friends who would wear shorts and tanks and dresses. I'm the only one doing it among my Indian friends and I wish I had company. I would be honored that somebody decided to size me up and wear what I wear. Like Gauri mentioned, you should feel flattered that she is trying to emulate your dressing. If you feel that bothered by it, tell her that I'm so happy you decided to try that dress similar to the one I wore yesterday. It suits you and you look amazing in it! With things like shorts and dresses, it will take a while to get used to wearing it. Instill some confidence in her. That'll be a very nice thing to do.
Many of my colleagues and friends try to imitate my hair and dressing style here. More so, my own sister and SIL also love the way how I dress up. Because, more than others, I spend a lot of time and energy in choosing my dresses and style. Also, I have a lot of exposure and opportunity to understand various styles, thus buy new dresses. But I never felt competitive or irritated by other's attempt to imitate me. I feel like having a company, and enjoy that a lot. You may have imitated this summer dressing style from someone else. Perhaps, back in India, you worn something different. Does that mean, that particular person or society should feel irritated at you for doing this? After all, shorts and tees are not our traditional dress, but we imitated them from the west. I don't see any westerner is irritated with that. Similarly, we only feel happy to see a white woman in saree or salwar. It makes us proud in a way. Why don't you feel the same about yourself for being able to inspire someone with your style.
Your friend is trying something new. She is trying to get out of her comfort zone. Help her. Your post reminded me of this sweet ad. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=odmcmnWjK10 OP, you could acknowledge it and give her a compliment. 'Wow! I've never seen you wear that before!' You could add, 'suits you' if it does. Or you could say, 'great legs' basically something nice(and true) to make her feel you approve. You could invite her to go shopping with you, 'it is brilliant that you wear shorts and western clothes now! I'll have company for shopping! You'll go shopping with me; won't you?' Also give her a compliment about her elegance in indian dresses when she wears those. Or even truthfully say, 'IMO, you are someone who carries off indian clothes so elegantly.' it will help her get where she wants to be...
Aruna, Most of the times I don't understand the posts here but the few times I do is when I don't understand the poster anymore. The pattern of your posts (/threads) is very linearly amusing. Hang in here for a while, your friends, sorry slip of tongue, I meant you will be greatly benefited.
