Log in or Sign up

What's your opinion about settling abroad?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by EnlightenedSoul, Apr 28, 2014.

Page 1 of 3

Apr 28, 2014 #1
EnlightenedSoul IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

6,276

Likes Received:

2,657

Trophy Points:

355

Gender:

Female

What do think about settling abroad?
How many of you here planned to settle permanently abroad? If yes, what about leaving our children in abroad culture? It's frightening me a lot.
Do they get jobs and their career will be fine without any problems(without any discrimination because of nationality difference)?
Are you ok to leave your roots and also mainly for our children?

EnlightenedSoul, Apr 28, 2014

EnlightenedSoul, Apr 28, 2014

#1

1 person likes this.

Loading...
Similar Threads
1. what's your opinion?
  
  sharon8, Oct 7, 2013, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
  
  Replies:
  
  20
  
  Views:
  
  2,722
  
  persecutedDIL
  
  Oct 8, 2013
2. What's your opinion??
  
  chocogal26, Mar 11, 2013, in forum: Friends & Neighbours
  
  Replies:
  
  12
  
  Views:
  
  2,227
  
  chocogal26
  
  Mar 22, 2013
3. what's your opinion
  
  rvlakshmi, Oct 26, 2011, in forum: Life Without Spouse
  
  Replies:
  
  14
  
  Views:
  
  2,738
  
  rajzreporter1
  
  Nov 10, 2011
Apr 28, 2014 #2

sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

Messages:

763

Likes Received:

1,276

Trophy Points:

263

Gender:

Female

EnlightenedSoul said: ↑

What do think about settling abroad?
Click to expand...

It is fine as long as it works for the family and they do not regret it later.

How many of you here planned to settle permanently abroad? If yes, what about leaving our children in abroad culture? It's frightening me a lot.
Click to expand...

Not planned that far yet.
Instead of leaving children in "abroad culture," it is important to teach them to strike a healthy balance between their roots and the other country's culture.
Other countries' culture is not always bad, but it depends on what the parents' priorities are. There are good and bad things about Indian "culture" too.
Children who strike a good balance between 2 cultures are more mature and less judgmental in their outlook, understand the importance of their roots while also recognizing the flaws in their own culture, are more independent and self-reliant.
Of course, for parents to be able to achieve this is a difficult task and hats off to those who have done this.

Do they get jobs and their career will be fine without any problems(without any discrimination because of nationality difference)?
Click to expand...

Depends on the place you are in, but there is red tape, favoritism and office politics in India too.

Are you ok to leave your roots and also mainly for our children?
Click to expand...

No, I am not OK to leave my roots. But it does not have to be black or white. As I mentioned above, it is important to strike a balance. "Balance" here is subjective and what is actually means depends on each family. For example, some families may be alright with their kids dating but will not allow them to consume non-veg (if they are vegetarians). Some others might impose restrictions on dressing etc.
It is important to first understand what your priorities are, as a family unit.

Lastly, the grass on the other side always appears greener. If you were to leave the foreign country and return to India, there may be the "what if" feeling prevailing always-ex. more luxuries, outings for the children, more savings etc. If you continue to stay abroad, you might feel that kids miss out on time with extended family, festivals etc.
Click to expand...

sheztheone, Apr 28, 2014

sheztheone, Apr 28, 2014

#2

sindmani, beingloved, anmolhai and 6 others like this.
Apr 28, 2014 #3

anika987 IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

12,988

Likes Received:

20,882

Trophy Points:

538

Gender:

Female

settling abroad will be very "unsettling" for many IF you are not clear about what you are getting into.you should take your priorities,how well you think you can adapt,learning about the place you are going to settle and what visa into consideration.

USA is a good place to settle especially with desi people around you since you feel more comfortable.Also,NEVER think what you see in the movies about abroad as "the real thing".For vacations,it is a beautiful place.As for settling down,it will be even more tough if you do not have a job or one or two people u like around you.

If you have a job or people or flexibility life will be smoother.there r lots of people who live happily abroad.Kids also turn out to be very good.No worries about education.Infact, you can have an eye on you children in US than India.

However,NOTHING LIKE MOTHERLAND.there will also be a corner in your heart where you will miss our country.

anika987, Apr 28, 2014

anika987, Apr 28, 2014

#3

3 people like this.
Apr 29, 2014 #4

EnlightenedSoul IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

6,276

Likes Received:

2,657

Trophy Points:

355

Gender:

Female

sheztheone said: ↑

It is fine as long as it works for the family and they do not regret it later.

Not planned that far yet.
Instead of leaving children in "abroad culture," it is important to teach them to strike a healthy balance between their roots and the other country's culture.
Other countries' culture is not always bad, but it depends on what the parents' priorities are. There are good and bad things about Indian "culture" too.
Children who strike a good balance between 2 cultures are more mature and less judgmental in their outlook, understand the importance of their roots while also recognizing the flaws in their own culture, are more independent and self-reliant.
Of course, for parents to be able to achieve this is a difficult task and hats off to those who have done this.

Depends on the place you are in, but there is red tape, favoritism and office politics in India too.

No, I am not OK to leave my roots. But it does not have to be black or white. As I mentioned above, it is important to strike a balance. "Balance" here is subjective and what is actually means depends on each family. For example, some families may be alright with their kids dating but will not allow them to consume non-veg (if they are vegetarians). Some others might impose restrictions on dressing etc.
It is important to first understand what your priorities are, as a family unit.

Lastly, the grass on the other side always appears greener. If you were to leave the foreign country and return to India, there may be the "what if" feeling prevailing always-ex. more luxuries, outings for the children, more savings etc. If you continue to stay abroad, you might feel that kids miss out on time with extended family, festivals etc.
Click to expand...

Sheztheone, ya, I accept with Balancing concept. But it will work only upto your child. Future generation will be only American or Australian. What about after 15 or 20 years?
Click to expand...

EnlightenedSoul, Apr 29, 2014

EnlightenedSoul, Apr 29, 2014

#4
Apr 29, 2014 #5

larapowell Bronze IL'ite

Messages:

93

Likes Received:

29

Trophy Points:

38

Gender:

Female

Settling abroad is a personal choice. It depends on why you want to settle there and weigh the Pros and Cons of it. If its is because of career opportunities then it is a good idea but you must also think in the long term. What once the professional life is over? Return to India or continue in US? There are a lot of females in this forum who want to return to India after staying 15-20 years in US. Yes, India has its share of problems like infrastructure still developing, personal safety issues and so on but are they really that big that one shall take a plunge abroad - that is the real question.

larapowell, Apr 29, 2014

larapowell, Apr 29, 2014

#5

2 people like this.
May 30, 2014 #6

EnlightenedSoul IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

6,276

Likes Received:

2,657

Trophy Points:

355

Gender:

Female

Hi friends, just I want to share an incident happened which worried me.
everyday in my kid's class, they have to write there name in a sheet with sketch as sign in. Since most of the sketch pens dried and so my kid always takes black sketch, one of which works. All of his classmates are also only behind that black sketch. Even some other is writing, he waits. Even though I say take some other, he won't and waits. He will be waiting and waiting.
today I just noticed, one kid is taking black sketch and write, my kids waits for him to finish. That kid carefully handing over to other kid, omitting my kid. He again waits saying, I want black. Than again that kid also carefully handing over the pen to other kid, and that kid again handing over to other kid who is already writing with other one, my kid is just waits.
Actually, the matter is just may be very small and trivial!
but what bothers me a lot is the mentality behind such behaviours.
even just 5 year old kids are seeing low of a kid who is not in their same colour?
even there is difference between children?
will these will be the situation for every opportunity(education, job, etc) when he grows?
If we settled abroad, whether he will be given less privilege and seen low by these foreign society? Do I have to leave him in such a society. Wont he affected by inferiority complex? Won't his self image, self respect, boldness, ... Will be affected by living in such circumstances in long run?

EnlightenedSoul, May 30, 2014

EnlightenedSoul, May 30, 2014

#6
Jun 12, 2014 #7

EnlightenedSoul IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

6,276

Likes Received:

2,657

Trophy Points:

355

Gender:

Female

oh, today i went thru an incident, though it is not new and had happened before many times, it hurts each time.
its it. today while i am just walking in the pathway, some unknown guys passing by a car, turned at me and just shouting and makes noises. i am just scared to hearing such noises unexpectedly. but i didnt turned my head and walked as if i didnt hear anything.
you know?this is far better! sometimes they even shout by uttering words, "f**k".
i dont know why they they are doing this to other country people, they are also human beings like them! if one born in one country, they dont have any right to live in another country?
most of indian friends also facing such discrimination one way or other.
they say, "there is no social life here". "in jobs, they will give preferences only to their people."
pls, share your thoughts!

EnlightenedSoul, Jun 12, 2014

EnlightenedSoul, Jun 12, 2014

#7

1 person likes this.
Jun 13, 2014 #8

Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

7,299

Likes Received:

6,339

Trophy Points:

440

Gender:

Female

I am starting to think you are in the wrong neighborhood.

Rakhii, Jun 13, 2014

Rakhii, Jun 13, 2014

#8

sindmani and sheztheone like this.
Jun 13, 2014 #9

Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

Messages:

999

Likes Received:

820

Trophy Points:

188

Gender:

Female

EnlightenedSoul said: ↑

Hi friends, just I want to share an incident happened which worried me.
everyday in my kid's class, they have to write there name in a sheet with sketch as sign in. Since most of the sketch pens dried and so my kid always takes black sketch, one of which works. All of his classmates are also only behind that black sketch. Even some other is writing, he waits. Even though I say take some other, he won't and waits. He will be waiting and waiting.
today I just noticed, one kid is taking black sketch and write, my kids waits for him to finish. That kid carefully handing over to other kid, omitting my kid. He again waits saying, I want black. Than again that kid also carefully handing over the pen to other kid, and that kid again handing over to other kid who is already writing with other one, my kid is just waits.
Actually, the matter is just may be very small and trivial!
but what bothers me a lot is the mentality behind such behaviours.
even just 5 year old kids are seeing low of a kid who is not in their same colour?
even there is difference between children?
will these will be the situation for every opportunity(education, job, etc) when he grows?
If we settled abroad, whether he will be given less privilege and seen low by these foreign society? Do I have to leave him in such a society. Wont he affected by inferiority complex? Won't his self image, self respect, boldness, ... Will be affected by living in such circumstances in long run?
Click to expand...

I too had heard this type of scenario from one of my neighbor (Pakistani), that she changed 2 schools because of bullying/colour issue. In her son's school, all white kids were not including hin in any of group activities whether it's group lunch or games. This happened for two years. Kid was feeling low and was crying every morning. They also informed school authorities but no use as teacher said we can't force kids to include anyone specific just advise. Finally she changed school. In another school, kids were making fun of his color and lunchbox. Same story. Now she is moving to another nearby city just to change school. She says, we came here to settle here but not in cost of kid.

I too have experienced this in my DD's swimming class but not by kids . It's teacher.
She never expressed but it's like she will call all kids by name to instruct (mathew do this etc) or to take swimming toys but never to my daughter. Initially we though she might not be able to pronounce my DDs name (though it's small and her preschool friends has no problems in her name) but later once we discussed with one life guard (Indian) in same class, he said she do this with every south Asian. Even I had heard her speaking rudely with lifeguard as well (64 year old Indian)

Priya4oct, Jun 13, 2014

Priya4oct, Jun 13, 2014

#9
Jun 13, 2014 #10

manisantha Senior IL'ite

Messages:

42

Likes Received:

21

Trophy Points:

23

Gender:

Female

hi
as someone said its every one personal choice

according to me having been to 4 countries definitely will settle in india in the warmth of my relatives n friends:2thumbsup:

manisantha, Jun 13, 2014

manisantha, Jun 13, 2014

#10

4 people like this.

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 1 of 3

Share This Page