When someone blames you, what do you usually do? How do you feel when someone blames you? Hurt, unhappy, sad? When we are attached with someone we expect from them and if they are not doing according to us we get anger and to relieve that anger we instantly blame person more close to us. Is attachment not good?
Aspire, good question. We get attached to people whom we like, love , care etc. When there is no reciprocation it is foolish on our part to still be attached. Expectations stem out of attachment and fondness. When we know we are not in the same league to them, it hurts us terribly and leads to frustration. When someone blames me all these days I tried to prove myself. Offlate I just don't care, as long as I know I am right. The moment you try to prove yourself, you let your weakness and that moment the person gets control of you and you can be taken on a guilt ride easily. We are human beings. We need attention, love, care and feeling of being wanted. When we are above all these things, attachment will not be there. It is immaterial whether someone cares for us. We exist without existing; lead a life of a vegetable. Finally, yes I get hurt very easily. I have lost friends because of my expectation, I have been insulted because of my expectations, but still I have never given up hope. I try to attach myself, hoping someone will want me the way I want them. Several times I am scared. What will happen if my attachment which would result into possessiveness not understood correctly? What if the person treats me as a nag? I am scared that I don't become close to anyone. But the heart wins the mind. The mind says not become attached, but the heart longs for affection. Despite the mind controlling, the evil heart wins over the mind and goes after people. The stupid heart doesn't know that it is getting hurt and the mind still becomes the healer there. We are all caught in a vicious cycle, we don't know how to come out of this, we don't know how to swim, we don't want to get drowned, but we pretend as if nothing will affect us. Shame on us; is this correct, or shame on the situation; is this correct; now we blame ourselves here and put us in guilt. Instead of being lonely, let us enjoy the solitude, this would erase all the situations.
hello Aspire, ya,when someone blames me ,i do get hurt.-if it really was my fault, i'd see if there's anything i could do to rectify and i'll surely keep that in mind and make sure it does not happen again.i've noticed that some people just put the blame on others,when, they want to escape-that makes me angry.this is about the people i love.-then about some Tom,Dick and Harry- i'don't really care.it makes little difference to me.
My first reaction used to be : Crying... I have changed a lot, and now-a-days I get upset. But my turnaround time to revive back is getting faster. So, if its my fault I apologise and move on If not, I dont even bother bringing up that subject
Thats is so true CW :bowdown Sometimes we also just start blaming others :rant I understand what you are trying to say here. Oh..the back and forth between mind & heart ..they are so draining sometimes...:drowning :bonk That is so well put out CW. :bowdown
Yes I will get hurt if people blame me for anything. That too if I was not responsible . I know elders will say, If someone blame you, you should try to see what wrong you did and correct it and should not pick up fight and arguments. It is difficult. But i keep trying.
Swarnalata: When somebody blames, do you resist it? I do it sometimes, I have observed it. Also, if its for a mistake or a fault, it requires enormous courage to accept it, from my experience.
It used to be a short lived relief. Later when I used to think about it, I used to feel ashamed of myself
