How do I stop feeling like an outsider in this country?

anika987 · Mar 12, 2014

Hi all,

I am being very Indian in USA.by that I mean,I MOSTLY watch only Indian movies,food I cook Indian( sometimes other),go to temples often,have a pooja room in my house,wear salwar kameez even when I go out many times.I do not go on ladies night out .Mostly a homebody.

I do not like the sports,I want my kids to learn Indian dance/music.

Problem is hubby wants to settle here forever.Is it possible to be ME in this country?I feel kind of insecure and uncomfortable in sense..I feel like an outsider here.how to get rid of this feeling?

anika987 · Mar 12, 2014

no replies(

Jlisabell · Mar 12, 2014

Hi,

May I ask how long are you here? I am asking because I felt that way when I first came here too. I wouldnt call myself a traditional Indian though. So I dint have any problem with clothes. Still, I felt like an outsider.

Do you have Indians in your neighborhood? If so, make friends with them.

Slowly, I learnt to adapt to American stuffs that I liked/admired and included it into my way of life. The trick is to adapt what you feel comfortable without losing your Indian roots.

After awhile, you will get used to it

Please dont give much thoughts on what people here think about you. Just see to it that you make yourself a comfortable here

Cheers!!

telugu1 · Mar 12, 2014

It is a very good symptom to have an outsider feeling in a country belonging to other people.

Don't worry ..... the eye-opener day is not so far for people like your hubby who feel like doing some great deal of job by staying in US and other countries.

don't give too much of a thought for this...just matter of time...have faith..earth is round...

englishtutorjul · Mar 12, 2014

If you live in places like Bay Area, where there are too many Desis, no one cares what you wear. But since you have long term plans of being in the country, look at it as an opportunity to experience a different culture. Been there, done that. I started off just like you, from being Indian A to Z, to having a good mix of American and Indian. I went from only watching Indian stuff to getting to a point where I am crazily in love with English mockumentaries now. It is just a matter of being more open.
I still don't do potlucks. But thatz just because, I don't have a thing for them, and feel it is too much effort. The advantage of being in a country like US, is that, you don't have to strive too hard to be a part of a particular group, or follow a particular lifestyle. It is liberal. Do what you want. Want to blow your nose in public? Go ahead. Don't wanna do potlucks? Don't.

cinderella06 · Mar 12, 2014

Why you have to feel like an outsider. It's all in our mind OP, nothing else. If you like this place, you will start enjoying it. If you fix your mind, I don't belong to this place then everything will look like an alien to you.
wherever you are, don't loose your originality or try to modify you for others. If you are comfortable living with indian roots, follow it. Nothing is wrong in it. There is nothing to do with insecurities here. There is no fixed rules you have to follow if you are abroad, it's your life and you choose how to live.
Also definitely you can raise your kids with Indian roots. Many are doing it. See if there is any dance/ music class near your place. Send your kids to the classes. If you can, find if there is any volunteering services available in the temple. Involve yourself with the service.
Soon you will start enjoying your life. Good luck