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Do working women in USA get lonely?

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by anika987, Aug 6, 2013.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    USA makes me very lonely.I do lots of things to divert attention.
    here we have to make an EFFORT to make friends.people EXPECT to call on and off often and keep in touch.We have to be CAREFUL of what we speak.

    In India,we NEVER felt lonely.when have we ever called our neighbors on and off and kept in touch?we call if we want to ask or inform something.else we meet them outside,we talk.we really do not care to keep in touch nor do they expect.

    The feeling of loneliness is killing me.If I take up a full time job(now am a stay at home mom)in the future,will loneliness go away in US?Plus with kids growing up etc,will it all fade away?

    the only reason I wanna work is to keep busy and not feel lonely.

    so question to all the working women,did ur loneliness fade away in USA?
     
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  2. anmolhai

    anmolhai Platinum IL'ite

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    I found it does make a difference. I use to be sahm and because of boredom started working part time. I really enjoy it. I have made some frnds at work & the constant interaction does help. I still don't have BFFs but that's ok.
     
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  3. pman16

    pman16 Platinum IL'ite

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    I guess its not about India or US, its about the age and the phase of life.When we are young we do not worry about consequences of any relationships and make friends normally. After marriage and kids, we mature and look for more meaningful relationships and like-minded friends and it takes time to find such real friends. This is very normal and happens with most of us.

    I too initially used to think USA is responsible for loneliness, then I slowly expanded my horizon and stopped bothering about finding that kind of 'true' friends, so Im left with mere acquaintances sometimes which is still not bad. I have met people over time and sometimes it clicks and sometimes not. Im happy with whatever it is.

    In the meanwhile, Anitha, I hope this will help. I started to stay happy from within and stopped looking for someone or something to make me happy. I found difference in the attitude and it really helped. I enrol for hobby classes (community classes which runs per quarter and also economically priced). I meet some people there, I can call like-minded because they have also managed to reach there like me , on a common interest. For sometime atleast this keeps me happy, away from having deep thoughts and pondering over topics like loneliness etc.

    So, you have to look around and pick up something what you like. If job interests you then go for it. There is no rule that working women can never get lonely or SAHM will be always be bored. Its all in the mind, I would say !!

    A happy person makes a happy parent. I take care to stay happy because it reflects the mood for the whole family. I go for regular walks, exercise everyday, eat healthy, watch movies, laughter shows, try recipes etc. I have set a limit to myself that these are the available options in US which can make anyone happy, so I manage to not to look beyond these and worry about loneliness.

    Loneliness is a deep ocean, Im scared to get into that !!

    When you make staying happy as the only option (mandatory), then it will help. When you stay sad you have many choices like depression, headache,worries (though all mean the same) which are difficult to deal with single-handedly.

    Hope this helps.
     
    sindmani, happyperson, vsrs and 8 others like this.
  4. Ranchu

    Ranchu Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Lonely or not lonely does not depend on whether you are SAHM or Wrking mom.
    I work , but I still do not have enough social circle to arrange regular play dates. Am still in the process of building it. When ppl find out am a working mom, they immediately withdraw themselves saying "you will be busy" . Well I am not. I can still spend time from 6pm to 9pm evenings .

    So it all depends on how you break your bubble and come out. You can be a working mom and still not talk to anyone at your office. that would make u lonely.
    You can be a SAHM but visit library daily and make loads of friends.

    It is all on you !
    Since we did not go to College or School here in US , the friends circle that we had gets chopped off suddenly. That is the main reason I'd say.
     
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  5. vettox

    vettox New IL'ite

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    very thoughful suggestions !
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2013
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  6. arunavanukuru

    arunavanukuru New IL'ite

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    Yes, I agree with all of you. Very well written...

    Aruna
     
  7. indubalram

    indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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    I agree with all of you.I started working to keep myself busy. But still there are times when I feel lonely. DH is busy touring and daughter in college. Even if we have friends their work schedule is different. Festivals like diwali and navratri is not the same as it was in India.Nice thread.
     
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  8. gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Perfectly agree. My neighbours have potlucks and get togethers during office hours and i feel left out all the time. In fact, in the one year I have been in this place - I hardly have 2 or 3 friends!
     
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  9. skalluri

    skalluri Gold IL'ite

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    good post to discuss, loneliness is part of American culture and lifestyle, and that influences us, we had grown up with family and friends, social life, here suddenly no friends, no family which gives culture shock and loneliness. I being a working woman taking care of family , but still have that loneliness, cold weather also impacts.
    I also changed my attitude to be busy with positive things, get engaged in some hobbies, spend some time for yourself like yoga, painting,gardening, knitting etc. everyday which improves the self-esteem, try to do volunteer service and involve in community activities, just some ideas which I tried. I know this is old post, but some sharing the views helps other women, I bet many are facing this .

    thanks for bringing this up
    SK.
     
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  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    very practical and mature answer.good attitude!
     

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