Parents/Inlaws Visiting US: Ideas to spend time interestingly.

I see that many parents visit US to stay with their daughter or sons. Life sort of slows down especially when they come here for India..With no work to do throughout the day, and new social circle they get psyched out and prefer going back to their own places.
Mothers or Mother in Laws may get busy cooking or knitting or doing some craftwork, but fathers or FILs are killed to boredom. Some people never come back to US, simply because their social life is disrupted.
Ladies suggest some creative ways to spend their time. I have decided, when my parents visit, I ll ask my father to buy some books and CDs of his choice and come. Weekends I can take them out to temple or some places around...On weekdays I ll help him forming a social circle with nearby residents of his age for chats during morning walk etc...Also newspaper and news on Internet will keep him occupied till some time.
The question is, how can elders spend their time here in US, when they come and stay with us ? How do we make their stay enjoyable here ?

Hi Meen

A very relevant topic to be discussed!

I liked what my friend planned when his family visited a few months back - might help you as well.They have lots of relatives spread in different parts of the country. So every Friday my friend used to fly and join his family at a particular location, say LA - spend the weekend with them and then take a flight back on Monday mornings. While his family used to stay behind at their relative's place in that city( for instance, LA).
he seemed to have booked some prepaid trip spread across 2-3 months including air-fares, site seeing etc. for his family members.
I very much liked this idea coz my friend was able to visit major US states with his family over the weekend, get back and join his office life for the week - when his family was staying at their relatives' and then getting back together on the weekend.

Any other ideas please.....???????

Charu,
That s nice for people who have relatives here. I dont have close ones, although there are distant relatives.. But the idea of planning ahead is always useful especially when fares are lesser....
I am thinking about a bit creative about this matter. My mother loves knitting and doing craftwork..So I think she l find it not so boring..
My MIL is a movie buff. So again she can be kept occupied for a while. Also as I said together with them I can try new dishes..or just travle around to malls or cloth stores or parks for strolls.
It s the fathers and FILs who might find it difficult. Although they can read ( My dad isnt too much inclined towards reading), it ll bore them sooo much..
It s completely different from the fast paced life they have back in Chennai or other places...Besides my dad s not retired yet...So sitting idle may not be fun..
For others grand kids are always there...Good timepass...Older grandkids have their thatha s or nana s company..to hear stories, learn shlokas etc

Hi Meena,

Here are a few suggestions:
1. Enroll in some activities offered by your local community center. Like most of them offer sports like golf etc, woodworking/carpentering and so on.
2. If they like home building projects then home depot offers free how to clinics:

Home Depot Clinics and Workshops - Home Improvement Center

3. They can volunteer in the local senior center. Just spending time with other seniors talking or reading to them .
4. Find out what your father and FIL dreamed of doing and never got the chance to pursue ( like say painting, or playing tennis or hiking etc....) there are so many classes available for everything , you can just google and find out.
5. Teach them to drive.You say they are still young( 50s) then they can get a learners permit here and learn to drive. That will indeed be something they would love to do.

Will get back with more ideas as they come.

Vandhana

I too accept that my mom and my MIL can do art and craft work, but my FIL isnt educated, so i cant go for the option as mentioned ny vandhana as he will find difficult to communicate..
Also we dont have much relatives, so no flying here and there..
And i dont think i can find any community center offering so much creative works in NY for even me to get involved??? If anybody knows abt the community center to spend time at least for me, let me know pls..
So what others things shall i make my FIL to involve?

Hi
If ur parents like sports or video games then wii (video game) will help u a lot.it'll keep them busy.it's for all ages.

Hi Folks,

If they are comfortable to drive...then they can take and IDP (intl. driving permit) from here itself...that is valid for tourists. We take that whenever we go to US so we are on our own and don't have to depend on others.

Actually if both the parents are coming together and if they get along well...then i am sure it will be more convenient as they have a lot to talk about.

Also you can send them on a cruise or any other holiday ...if finance is not a problem. Since they will be 4 of them...you may not have to tag along where ever they go.

One of out friends parents whom we know used to take up baby sitting. They go for 6 months 3 months wthey work and earn and 3 months they enjoy.

If they are fond of reading they can visit the library if any near your house.

If you have a good group...organise get togethers.

If there are temples near your house...they can visit them.

If its summers, i am sure they can go for walks.

They can also go for voluntary help.

If they are interested in cooking...then let the men cook on some days and the women can go shopping.

Subscribe for indian channels.

Roopa.

Hi folks,

I'll tell you what we did.

1) We moved to an apt closer to a park. My FIL & MIL would go walking every morning & evening. Luckily this apt is close to a shopping center. At the park they made many Indian friends & in fact they would meet up evry day except week-ends. They had potluck in park & afternoon tea in each others house.

2) Secondly we gave them cash in hand. Let them do small groceries etc. They were not comfortable doing laundry(me being the DIL & not daughter), but that's okay.

3) Also if your friends have their parents visiting them around the same time & then it's fun.

4) My FIL & a relatives bro would catch VTA & go around town. They had my cell phone & hence communicating was not a problem.

5) Also in our area, we have these tours & travels which caters to Chinese/Korean visitors. My ILs did couple of trips via them. Of course that's when company/friends parents etc is required.

6) Lastly we had a "Senior Center" at a local Indian community Club. Initially we would drop them there, but later on friends from ICC would just pick them up.

7) We also subscribed to ZeeTV & SET. My hubby would print news in Marathi.

Lastly make time for them. They not here to just see US or help you with household stuff. They're here to see & be with YOU


Hope this helps. They have been to US twice & are still friends with people they met her. I must mention my MIL knows no English & my FIL knows only basic English.

Hi All,

When my In-Laws come to stay with us in US, what are the ways to keep them engaged and make them feel important ?
Please share your experiences and activities and talks you do with your in-laws.

Thanks so much !

Originally Posted by dipti_shah

Hi folks,

I'll tell you what we did.

1) We moved to an apt closer to a park. My FIL & MIL would go walking every morning & evening. Luckily this apt is close to a shopping center. At the park they made many Indian friends & in fact they would meet up evry day except week-ends. They had potluck in park & afternoon tea in each others house.

2) Secondly we gave them cash in hand. Let them do small groceries etc. They were not comfortable doing laundry(me being the DIL & not daughter), but that's okay.

3) Also if your friends have their parents visiting them around the same time & then it's fun.

4) My FIL & a relatives bro would catch VTA & go around town. They had my cell phone & hence communicating was not a problem.

5) Also in our area, we have these tours & travels which caters to Chinese/Korean visitors. My ILs did couple of trips via them. Of course that's when company/friends parents etc is required.

6) Lastly we had a "Senior Center" at a local Indian community Club. Initially we would drop them there, but later on friends from ICC would just pick them up.

7) We also subscribed to ZeeTV & SET. My hubby would print news in Marathi.

Lastly make time for them. They not here to just see US or help you with household stuff. They're here to see & be with YOU


Hope this helps. They have been to US twice & are still friends with people they met her. I must mention my MIL knows no English & my FIL knows only basic English.

Thanks for the info.My in-laws are scheduled for a visit next month.

Btw...are you from Maharastra?I was wondering if you could help me with some info.