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Awkward situation with neighbour...please advice!

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by adismom, May 14, 2011.

  1. adismom

    adismom Bronze IL'ite

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    I am currently stuck in a very awkward situation with my neighbour and I need some advise about what to do...

    We have a cordial relationship, have known each other since a few months and have spoken a few times.Our common interest is our kids who have played together in each others houses a few times(4 times to be precise)We are not 'good' friends and all ,just make common talk when we come across each other.She is from some other country..not a desi or American either.

    It seems their power was cut off a day back as they 'forgot' to pay their bills for a few months when they had gone overseas.So she tells me that they will restore the power only after a week.She brought a long wire to my house and asked if she could plug it in as the stuff in her fridge would rot etc etc to which I agreed.Now I thought she would have some alternative arrangement to get out of her crisis like shifting to her relatives place for a few days etc .But instead she put me on a spot asking if she could use my electricity for a 'couple' of days.I said I need to clear that with my husband first, and after deliberating ith him for some time ,I said she could use it for a couple more hours.She was pretty dissapointed .I felt horrible too...but what could I do..they are a family of 5.Firstly there is no way we can determine her share of the bill when it all comes together...plus every month our energy bill varies(so no way I can make out how much is ours etc)And though she said she is willing to pay the '25 $ extra which might show up in my bill' ,what if it comes more and she refuses to cough it up etc?And it would be so difficult for me to ask her for the money again and again when it comes up and if she refuses to pay in the first instance itself.

    Due to all these reasons I said I could do it for a few hours only.Can someone please tell me if what I did was right or wrong?I am feeling terrible though..:hide:
    PS-our husbands are not friends so I have to deal with the whole situation myself.

    Looking for helpful suggestions....:help
     
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  2. Ranchu

    Ranchu Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Adismom,

    What you did was perfectly ok.
    Dont regret or wonder on how you could have handled this . These are delicate situations and your neighbor asking you for power was too cheap.

    They could have easily checked into a hotel and moved the perishable items into your fridge. that would make sense instead of knocking your door with a wire.
     
  3. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    Wht you did is right... dont regret... next time when you have to spk to her to speak, just speak casually with no reference to this incident.
     
  4. adismom

    adismom Bronze IL'ite

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    Ranchu
    Thanks for your reply.Though inside I know that this might be the right decision,but I still cant help but feel really bad about what I did.As she has a kid exactly my kids age,they will be going to the same preschool together,where I would have to interact with her etc.Plus of course there will be numerous other occassions where we will come across each other as she is my next door neighbour...I cant help but think how she will behave then.She does have relatives here where she could shift...I wonder why she is not doing that.

    I dont know why but I am feeling very embaressed to face her again as now I have the task of disconnecting the wire after a few hours for which she will come downstairs.

    But Ranchu,thanks a lot for your reply and reassuring me that what I did was OK.
     
  5. pihoousa

    pihoousa Senior IL'ite

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    it's ok relax,,,today she needs you one day you can use her too,,,

    neighbors are for give and take be good friendly dont go for money
    honestly if i were you i wont take money from my ngbr but i will
    get it back in a way or two..
     
  6. adismom

    adismom Bronze IL'ite

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    DrKadambari

    thanks for replying to me.I will definitely take your approach of not referring to this incident again to her when we meet in the future.The thing is..I will have to disconnect the wire after an hour after which she will definitely come here to collect it....what do I say then.Should I apologise for not being able to help her out any more?
     
  7. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    adismom, you did what you could in the situation. Don't take anything personally or emotionally and neither is this a reason to avoid your neighbor - as Drkadambari say, you don't have to bring it up at all. And if you are feeling bad, simply don't take the money and tell her that you were glad you could help in what ever way you could. If she understands, you have made a friend, if she doesn't no big deal - you just had an aquaintance and are learning to understand what works for you and what does not and learning to express it guilt free - with neighbors! Many time I have felt bad only to realise that I was the only thinking about it so much!
     
  8. adismom

    adismom Bronze IL'ite

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    Pihoousa

    Its just that I dont have that kind of smartness to take something back in return.I am in fact very naive and have been taken for a ride many times in my past regarding monetary issues.:( I also fear other complications which might arise...what if there is a short circuit etc or something of that sort and we fall in trouble.I am sure she is not going to help me out then.Though this is pretty difficult for me ,I think this is the way to go for me.
    Thanks a lot.I really appreciate you for responding to me.
     
  9. adismom

    adismom Bronze IL'ite

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    Srama

    Thanks for replying.I will definitely not ask her for any money regarding the few hours of electricity which I am giving her.Its just that lending power for 4 days or more seems a little too much for me.I have never been put in such a situation before...so I have no idea how to deal with it.

    You are right,just like you I am thinking about it way too much...causing me to get more stressed and confused.I will try to take it easy.Like you said..i will learn a thing or two from this experience..

    But still I hope our relationship doesnt get too strained after this...

    Thanks again for your reply.
     
  10. DNM

    DNM Silver IL'ite

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    Adismom, hmmmm....I can understand where you come from. However, I am inclined to think of it this way - everybody needs a little boost, a leg up in this economy. Sometimes bad things happens to good decent people. Here in Illinois, electricity is not exorbitant. It would not be too much money to help out in this very specific and limited way. I would allow her to use electricity for even a week.

    I find it sad that she has young kids who of no fault of thier own will have to put up with a lot. If there is anything I could do to help them, I would. I keep thinking what if it were me and my kid in that tough spot.

    Sometimes opportunities to help others come in these forms...it does not have to be anonymous donation to charity. Charity begins at home, and around the neighbourhood.

    Ofcourse it is your decision ultimately but this is my two cents.
     

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