Neighbor beats wife, what should I do?

This is pure shocking for me. My otherwise very educated and polite neighbor often gets drunk and beats his wife in the night. I have seen him doing it from my window. I talked to his wife about it but she denied that any such thing even happened.

What should I do? I am scared of going and stopping him as I afraid he might attack me too.... Please help

Do Nothing at all. If his wife is o.k with it why are you trying to complicate matters in your own life ? If you try to interfere in their family matters, at the end, the husband and wife will stick together and Blame YOU for creating TROUBLE in their family. SO-DO NOT INTERFERE.

God forbid if the wife is hospitalized as a result of physical violence inflicted on her by her husband and if there is a police case - You will have to act as the witness in a police station. Are you ready for that ?

If things get worse, all the society people can get together and complain to the society secretary about this.

But who will bell the cat ?


Regards,
"HAPPY"

If their fighting is inside their house, u cant do anything. Since the wife herself is denying why are you trying to invite trouble? close the window and your ears.
Uma

wow! what an attitude towards domestic violence. Tell
that women if she is ready to talk she is always there to help. Try and find out about women resource centers in your city make a list of it and give it to woman. If she does not want to talk to you she might want to talk to some one who she does not know her. Lots of women had died in the hands of husband. One does not sit back and do nothing about it One does not turn your face or put your head in sand. But make sure you do not force her to talk if she is not ready

Dear Jaisreer,

You are right. Keeping our eyes and ears closed--this should not be the reaction to domestic violence. BUT in this particular case, where the victim/lady involved in domestic violence is Sonya's neighbour and the victim herself is telling that she has not been physically assaulted, then further action/reaction from Sonya or others would amount to "interfering" under Indian Laws.

Secondly, Sonya herself may land in trouble if the lady goes on denying the truth and BLAMES Sonya for interfering in her personal affairs.

If domestic Violence was taking place in Sonya's own home, then the issue would have been different.

We cannot do anything without the consent of the victim/lady. At best, as I have written earlier-All the members of the society/apartment can complain to the Society/Apartment's Secretary in the last resort.

But I agree with you 100 percent that if the lady wants to complain, Sonya can help her.

Regards,
"HAPPY"

Originally Posted by depressed

Do Nothing at all. If his wife is o.k with it why are you trying to complicate matters in your own life ? If you try to interfere in their family matters, at the end, the husband and wife will stick together and Blame YOU for creating TROUBLE in their family. SO-DO NOT INTERFERE.

God forbid if the wife is hospitalized as a result of physical violence inflicted on her by her husband and if there is a police case - You will have to act as the witness in a police station. Are you ready for that ?

If things get worse, all the society people can get together and complain to the society secretary about this.

But who will bell the cat ?

Depressed,

Never ever give this advice to anyone. Do Nothing??? Should she wait for that lady to kill herself or get brutally murdered, to do something?

The wife cannot be ok with it... Will you be ok if your husband beats you? Nobody wants to live like that. I am pretty sure she is just denying it because she is too scared of her husband and consequences.


Sonya,

I think you should keep talking to that lady... Be friends with her and make her understand that she CAN take action and get out of her hellish life. Try to make her understand that she can send her husband to a rehab, or they can go into Marriage Counseling. If all that doesn't work out, then she has every right to take divorce....

Don't listen to Depressed!!!!

Dear Monica,

It is not about me and my husband or Sonya and her husband. It is about a lady/neighbor who herself has denied physical violence.

Also read my 2nd post carefully. I suggested that Sonya can help the lady if the lady approaches her. Or she can complain to the society's secretary if all else fails.

Also, I am speaking from my own experience here. I myself once complained about domestic violence committed against one of my relatives but at the end, that lady relative and husband said that nothing has happened between them and that I was making up everything. Strange thing is : The lady herself told me that her husband was abusing her ! So, I don't want Sonya to face the same.

I hope you understand.



Regards,
"HAPPY"

Originally Posted by depressed

Do Nothing at all. If his wife is o.k with it why are you trying to complicate matters in your own life ? If you try to interfere in their family matters, at the end, the husband and wife will stick together and Blame YOU for creating TROUBLE in their family. SO-DO NOT INTERFERE.

Regards,
"HAPPY"

I also advice the sme as H.A.P.P.Y

arre yaar

if it's a one off incidence...just forget it...people do fight in their houses...be it brother sister or husband wife...and they don't want others to know abt it...if u do know...it's called snooping around

u cannot blame the guy or the gal if u don't know what led to the fight and blah blah blah....
if the girl is suffering ...she has to find the courage and do something about it...u don't have to be an advocate for her if she's okay with her situation

i fight with my hubby and we literally come to blows sometime(softer ones )...but we're very very gud friends and we know we don't mean it...it's a reaction to a situation and anger knows little control on self

but YES....if it's something u see regularly....be friends with the gal...and i am sure she'll open up...only when she has her consent on the suffering..u can pursuade her to try better ways to handle her situation...

ur effort should be to help her find ways to tackle it herself and not u fighting for her and letting her or urself into any kind of problem later

cheers

Originally Posted by renvem

arre yaar
if the girl is suffering ...she has to find the courage and do something about it...u don't have to be an advocate for her if she's okay with her situation

but YES....if it's something u see regularly....be friends with the gal...and i am sure she'll open up...only when she has her consent on the suffering..u can pursuade her to try better ways to handle her situation...

ur effort should be to help her find ways to tackle it herself and not u fighting for her and letting her or urself into any kind of problem later

cheers

I agree with you. If a woman gets abused, only she can help herself. But if it is something regular, then may be the abuse has crossed the line and the woman may be finding herself unable to take any step.

Sonya, I think you should keep an eye, but don't take any action as of now.