Few decades ago going abroad was a dream come true. But today with the rise in Indian economy and global tourism so convenient do we still dream of settling abroad?? Today morning i was reading in the papers 6 girls from different parts of Gujarat being abandoned by their NRI spouse, even after paying a hefty dowry and having lavish weddings. So what is it that is still luring the public to go abroad specially the girls?? Why don't we feel contended here amongst our families and well wishers?? Why do we want to go abroad and lose out on our identity, ability and individuality??
Hello Roopa , A very nice thread to discuss .. Hmm accordingly to me people travel abroad for various reasons .Higher education , better opportunities, monetary reasons or to work and learn in a different atmosphere.There have always been NRI harassments but these do not shadow the incidents happening in India as well.Dream to go abroad totally depends on the individual and what they want in life. "Why do we want to go abroad and lose out on our identity, ability and individuality?? " I don't think this is applicable to to all the ladies staying abroad.Some gain their identity here , lead a better life and cherish their individuality. According to me probably the ghastly incidents happening abroad may have little affect in people wanting to come and settle abroad. Well I am not trying to be defensive or justify the acts of someone but just my 2 cents ! :thumbsup
Hey Sabitha thanks for the great and quick FB. I am not against staying or going abroad But blindly getting into something which you are not capable of handling or without proper enquiry is what i am against. There are many H4 spouse, who don't know what to do after landing there. You have to be mentally prepared that first few years maybe unproductive or you will really have to work hard to get into the routine and lifestyle there. Maybe i din't put across my thoughts properly in the main post.
hi roopa, from my perspective, not a lot of ppl wish to settle abroad, certainly not anymore! mainly bcuz the progress/change in india has been DRASTIC! & for the gud! in every sphere... earlier ppl opted to making a life abroad bcuz of the fat pay cheques bt trust me the situation in india is quite neat too... none of my hubbys (nor mine) frnds live abroad, they r all happily settled in india... & they r doing gr8 4 themselves... wen u get a similar lifestyle in ur own country, y wud any1 prefer to leave it in the 1st place... as sabita pointed out, thr r so many varied reasons... true! life here has been a bed of roses (touchwood) bt blv me if given a chnce i wud settle bak in india anytime, for the sole reason of staying close to my parents, frnds...loved ones... ive always bin an outgoing person, evn my sundays were packd wid activity... wen 2.6yrs ago i came here wid hubbypie to mke a life... aftr the initial few weeks i wz sort of distressed..to b al by myself.. until i got a job! i never lost my identity, infact i made 1 here... i seem to be confused myself here...:spin i cnt imagine leaving the middle-east anytime soon, although india is always on the agenda!! lifes much easier here n ofcuz da std of living is much higher than back home... gues the grass is always greener on the side! sorry bt i cnt make up my mind... my post luks more lke a banter... heheh:rotfl
Roopa , I can understand you are talking of a separate sect in India who are obsessed with sending their daughters abroad. You are right, I have seen a lot of parents who want to get their daughter married off to someone who is living abroad and brag about the status they have achieved on having a NRI daamaad.The only qualification required apart from being a boy is he should be working abroad.With this meagre knowledge on the working conditions, life style, culture abroad they pack and send her off sometimes not even knowing if the boy is employed or not.I recently read an article on how Punjabi girls were duped into marrying NRI boys and later realized the true colors of their husbands who either left them behind in India or worse had to lead a bitter life in US for sometime before escaping from the claws of the deranged husband.The article described the poignant tale of parents who are still waiting to hear from their son in laws who married their daughters and others who are fighting to get their daughters back.May be it is more rampant in Punjab that the story was synthesised from that state.There are also NGOs running to help the victims and help them start their life afresh.It is sad to hear that parents are so obsessed with foreign lands and are ready to risk their daughter's life.I think these NGOs should in fact educate the parents about this racket.Ironically most of the parents are possessed with this impulse that they feel it is not going to happen to their daughter.They don't realize that news of people about whom we read in papers and view on TV also live on the same land and breathe the same air which does not make us immune to these atrocities. DesertRose, Your ramble was quite interesting :thumbsup and I agree that the standard of living is quite high here and over a period of time we get used to it though initially the same would have been shuddery,depressing and agonizing as well.India has definitely changed a lot in terms of technology , infrastructure , socio-economic life, education system etc.It is just that everyone is waiting for the impetus to take us back home and with the gargantuan changes many are going back for good and settling in India.
Hi Gals! Quite a topic for discussion! I guess there are pros and cons to both, living in India and abroad! I've been out of India the last 19 yrs. and trust me, to this day I miss India and my life there, like crazy! But then, living abroad we have gained a lot too, good lifestyle, financial success albeit this does not make up for loss of family's moral support and luv! But then, we go to India once every 2 yrs. and spend time there, and come back with lovely memories. We have friends and cousins working for MNC's back home, there again it is a divided opinion. SOme say life is greeat and all is fine, but we are unable to really save something! Others say its ok! So I guess there will always be 2 schools of thoughts! I have 2 cousins who work in India but travel the world around on projects and thats the time they make their moolah, for saving! And another thing that has come to my notice is the family structure in India too is falling apart these days. The old camaraderie and sincerity in relationships is missing, at least in some places I can see! The destructive competition spirit in every househould, be it material or kids is so very obvious! So those things do hurt me! And As much as our plans are to get back to India to settle down, insensitivity of people scare me too! I am also at a point.....not knowing which way it will swing! Keeping my fingers crossed and leaving the rest to God! As for parents marrying fo their girls to men abroad, it happens in a few cases, and it becomes a news since its abroad! But what about all the cases happenning in India itself?????
For those, whose life is smooth abroad is not a problem. But the girls, who have landed in trouble being miles sway from home, not knowing anyone or don't know whom to turn to for help are the worst hit. I also pity those whose parents are alone here and are of age when they need their kids besides them to take care. Specially so when one of the parent is seriously ill or no more.
its pity to see that some men marry beautiful girls and taking them to middle east with the intention of using her to get promotions and special benefits by offering sex bribes to their wealthy Arab boss.. its very common in the middle east lot of girls have fallen victim. Rimzan
